so sorry to hear it

Make copies of all important documents, bank statements, superannuation statements (yours and his), mortgage or lease agreement, insurances, wills, all debts and payments etc

Open your own bank account if you don't have one. Talk to a family lawyer. Counselling is a great idea.

If you think he's going to get nasty, plan for it - it may be he makes nasty statements, puts you down, denigrates your financial contribution/role as wife or mother. Be prepared for him to try manipulating you. Counselling and support will help. Don't buy into his reality. If it's over, then that's it. Don't enter into a discussion about personal issues at all - treat it like a business negotiation. It's hard to turn off all the years of caring for someone, but if that's what you have to do to protect yourself, then do so.

Things are scary now and may get harder, but you will get through it stronger and ultimately be better off.