Hi Marlene
Yes I need to be stronger this time.
I know I will be ok, I have pretty much looked after the girls by myself for 2 months now (even when he was here he wasn't here IYKWIM).
Am going to pick back up the plans I made last time he left: to make myself and the girls some friends, go back to work later in the year and save up and move closer to my family (who are wonderful and supportive).
Have decided definately that if he decides that he wants to be with me he is going to have to go about it the old fashioned way: courting me until I fall in love again.
At the moment I still love him, I always will. But he has hurt me too much for me to take it anymore.