Hi Fiona. Seeing as how you are both on tight budgets I think it's a good idea just to pack for now. It might even help the girls in their transition of keeping things the same.

They will eventually leave bits and pieces there as time passes. We bought clothes and bits for DHs kids so they didn't have to bring extra things - particularly if they were coming straight from school. Just things like pjs, swimmers, toiletries. We certainly never asked them to leave "our" clothes behind where they went back to their mum's house.

Just an idea, but could you ask him to go halves with the girls winter wardrobe maybe? I know that this is what my brother and his ex did for the first year. His ex would buy the clothes and give him a receipt and he'd put in half. As time moved on and they both became more established they would each buy things themselves. They also did this for their christmas and birthday presents. They got a present from mum and dad and then a little something from each parent (as an individual). I would love it if DH's ex was as agreeable!

And big kudos to you both for keeping it civil and putting the girls first. You're awesome!