Oh Vickyk,
I so totally feel for you. I have just come back from court with my ex and the verdict wasn't what we hoped for. And we are only in the middle of things. I go back to the federal magistrates court in may for final hearings as my exhusband wants shared care. he also is extremely abusive and i have taken out and AVO in the past. He has a temper, a rifle,a car,drinks,takes e"s and does smoke dope. A very volatile and dangerous mix. Yet with all this against him he still got joint parenting responsibility and 10 nights amonth access which includes overnights. Half of all school holidays. I am sure that you would qualify for legal aid. Your first appointment is free of charge with most solicitors so they can here your story and assess your eligibility. i work part time and own all my furniture and nearly own my own car and i qualified. the whole process through the courts though is totally ****ed up. Dads are getting more and more priveledges now,which is great for the dads that deserve it-but not for the others. My ex has made no secret of the fact the only reason he wants more time with them is because he knows it will hurt me and also to lessen the amount of maintenance he pays for OUR children. He is bitter,resentful,vengefuland dangerous. he knows a lot of really nasty people. Whenever my kids come home after access i breathe a sigh of relief. Sure they have not showered in 3 days or brushed their teeth and lived on junk all weekend with little sleep-but they are home. i can undo all the mess he's made. shower them,feed them love them only to have him undo it all again. I have had many sleepless nights crying because my kids 8 and 10 do not want this and have told the courtt this and it is all still going ahead. I feel powerless to enforce what they want and they are very very scared of him.I am and have to remain strong for them but when with friends or alone in the shower the real truth comes out.I'm so very worried for thier welfare-they both see psychologists now. They are children. Children. Dealing with adult mistakes. For that i carry a lot of guilt. Darling make sure you find yourself some counselling(i did). it does help. If you can get yourself into a parenting post seperation course as court would want you to do this anyway but it will link you up with other mums in your area that are or have been through the same thing. I can only imagine how painful this is especially given that your little man is so dependant on you still ,but you need to prepare yourself for the worst. court rulings have changed since july this year and lots of dads are using it to their advantage. It is highly probable that he will get overnight access. I speak not only of my own personal experience but that of friends too. You have to evolve, adapt and try and adjust to this idea because it is highly likely going to be beyond your control and you will have no choice but to move with it. Please though,get legal aid I'm sure you will find help is there for you and you will qualify.Sorry my message is so long. but if i can help you in any way then at least i've been good for something. i would like to know that there is some benefit to the pain I've been through cause at the moment i'm not seeing any-other than being a bit more gutsy.All the best babe. If you need me I'm in here somewhere,most nights.
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