Thank you for your replies, Pollyanna I can't believe your kids still have to go to their Dad's when they have told the court they don't. This shared parenting thing is too general, it doesn't seem to have taken into account the kids wishes.
I am still hoping that my ex will back off, he has to go back to Newi jan 6 for a couple of months, but in the meantime I will go to a separate mediation and counselling. Despite all this drama this is the strongest I've been in ages.
I am happy for him to go overnight but nor for at least another 8 months or so, I just hope we can reach an effective agreement between us.
Will keep you posted.
Am already keeping a diary of access etc to show I am being reasonable
He is seeing him today for 4 hours.
Thanks for all your messages, it feels good to have this support.