Hey gorgeous Emma,
Poor darling. Its just been one of those days hasn't it!!
Don't put so much pressure on yourself honey, if XH wants to be a **** and not come and see his daughter, let him!!! Like Cobaltblue said, he's the one who will have to answer for his slackness in the future. Also, don't expect yourself to be completely detatched from him, you have emotions, you were with him and you loved him enough to keep your gorgeous little girl, so there will always be love there somewhere, I think the more you try to push your emotions aside the more they will rear their head. Just accept how you are feeling and maybe get some counselling to find some ways to deal with it???

You don't need to go out for this birthday next week if you don't want to, I completely lost interest in parties and going out to pubs and what not when I had bubba, I guess it's just something you can't explain to friends who don't have kids. Having a baby give you such a reality check about what's important in life, that going out and drinking doesn't really seem to make sense anymore...

When you are having a bad day, text me or call me, I'm always here if you need a mummy friend shoulder to cry on. Plus there's always MSN!

Ella
xoxo