Registered User
Yep, thats right Lulu. Hence why I'm suspicious - could be the police officer in me, but I'm sus!
She asked DH herself November last year, and then said no we can't see them at all over Xmas, and then a further we can't EVER see them. So DH told her to shove it - she aint getting the certificates. They haven't spoken since.
Todays request came via Dh's mum...
Registered User
Considering you are both cops she should try being a little sneakier in future shouldn't she?It doesn't *feel* right to me, why keep chasing you down for them? I hope it is as innocent as signing them up for a sport or something.
Registered User
Yes - I hope it is just for an after school activity too Trillian, but my thinking is that she wanted the certificates last year, and again today - so I think there is some alterior motive (or a huge waiting list to play netball after school).
DH's mum only relayed the msg and doesn't / won't ask questions - otherwise if she puts a foot wrong with her she will also lose contact with them too. This woman is happy to hold her kids as ransom over their own Grandmother! Pffft!
Oh, the reason we have them is DH took them from the house when he moved out of the 'marial' house long ago, as she was quite careless with paperwork, she always misplaced bills and she said he should take them in case she lost them. Go figure.
BellyBelly Member
I know someone mentioned it for them opening a bank account for the kids and you said they already had one ... would she need birth certificates if she wants to withdraw money from their accounts?
Or maybe for Centrelink/parenting payments if she is having issues?
It sounds pretty impulsive to me if she was after them a while ago, forgot about it and now wants them again. Going through BDM will mean she has to wait a while for them or pay extra (but there is still a minimum turn around period). Sounds like it might be good to make her wait for them and whatever it is she wants might not be an issue for her by the time she gets them.
I don't really get why it's okay to make people wait etc?I don't understand.
I would just send them to her if she needs them and then put it to bed. If she has behaved badly - I get that it's upsetting but it's no skin off anyone's nose if she has the certificates and she can get on her way. I think you are using up your precious gorgeous energy wondering - it always feels good to help someone else out.
Or, photocopy them and have a jp sign the photocopy to authorise it's from the original and send a few copies to her if it's important to you both to have these certificates.
It is a costly exercise and also takes time to apply to BDM.
Registered User
Inanna - you must be the most forgiving and patient person!! I wish I had that in me, well usually I do - just not with this lady unfortunately.
She has caused our family sooo much trouble - and if it means she has to pay for her own copies and organise to get them herself, pffft - she can do it. It'd take $80 and 5 business days till she gets them.
IMO these are the last things DH has of the kids, other than memories - that they even exsist. Plus he's gone through so much stress dealing with her and gone out of his way so often to try and help her out and she's virtually spat on him in return. So I understand and support his decision.
But why she wants them - I can only guess, hopefully you are right Inanna and she only wants them for her records. But I doubt it.
She'll need your DH's consent to change their names or get passports, regardless of who has copies of the BCs. You might be hearing from her lawyers if she wants to do either and he doesn't want to consent.
I'm not sure why she hasn't applied for her own copies. Perhaps she doesn't realise that she can do that? (Although the application process can be a little fiddly).
And whilst I can see why your DH doesn't want to hand them over, I can also see that she wants them because he has them, and he won't hand them over because she wants them...Yet both of them could apply for extra copies if they wanted to.
I don't think this will be the end of it...which is sad for everyone.
Registered User
What I don't understand is how this is possible? Doesn't the court say your DH has a right to see his children?
If she is threatening that he will NEVER see them again....I would suggest maybe she needs passports???
Registered User
No court orders in place Maz.
Until she got her new BF it was no problem us seeing the kids, then he came on the scene and that was the end of that.
It is at least reassuring that DH's mum still keeps in contact with the kids - thats one thing. But she doesn't tell us when she see's them or speaks to them - another condition the ex put on her having contact with them, that DH and I don't find out about it.
Registered User
Well, I'd be doing something about that ASAP!! She has no right to withhold his children. It is not fair on him or the kids! Fight for them babe!!
Registered User
I've already tried to get DH to go down that line.
I will keep trying, its a delicate subject as you can understand, he misses them so much.
He's emotionally exhausted from the whole situation to do with her, fights, deception, lies etc, and we aren't yet in a financial position to fight either. I just wish she had any concious....her attitude is a far cry from her original 'they're your kids too, I'd never take them away from you' line...!
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
When we needed DD's birth cert we just went to the city, filled out a form and waited in line. Took over an hour but wasn't really a hassle.
I hope he is not paying maintenance if she has decided he cannot see his children. Not sure she would have a leg to stand on if it ever went to court.
Let's just hope it is something innocent that she wants them
Registered User
Yep, she gets just over $1,000 each month from DH...
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