No more excuses

[human bean]

Well, I think I've finally run out of excuses and reasons why we shouldn't start TTC again. After our loss last year I took time out (12months) and lost a lot of weight to get my body healthier and more ready for a pregnancy. Then I thought we'd wait till after our OS holiday. Then it was let's wait til I've had all my dental work done. Then it's.....what? I really don't have any more reasons.

It's really quite crazy, because I wan't nothing more than to have our own little bub and to start our own family. I think I'm really quite scared of getting pregnant and having another miscarriage. Well actually, not the getting pregnant part (although I am the world's most impatient person!), just the not staying pregnant part. Yet I also realise that 1000's of women have gone on to have healthy and happy pregnancies after a miscarriage, and they may well be the case with me too. I tell myself that, and then I start thinking but what if it happens again, I don't want to go through that heartache again, and then I find myself starting to think of reasons why we could just wait a little bit longer.....arghhh!

Even my DH who for so many months didn't want to try again is becoming impatient and making comments about TTC.

Just relax and go with the flow, I hear you say, and I understand that as well. I guess I just needed to vent my thoughts and hope that I'm not the only one who has felt this way at some stage.

Thanks for listening,

Cheers,
HB

[Jellyfish]

I don't have much to say because I don't know what you are going through but I really do hope things work out for you and you get your sticky bubba when it is the right time.

[poppy84]

I feel the same way as you do. I had my 2 early losses within 3 months, the last being in December last year and I have been too afraid to even try to get pregnant, just like you.

After reading your post I realised that I myself have been coming up with excuses to put off TTC for even longer like going on holidays, changing jobs etc etc.

I guess I'm in the same boat, I'm scared of trying again and not getting pregnant and if I do then I'm so afraid of losing it again.

So I guess you aren't alone.

I just think well if the bad is going to happen then I'm just putting off the bad but if the good si going to happen, which I hope it will, then I'm also delaying the good. It's hard...

[josijo]

Hi Human Bean,

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can understand you not wanting to get pregnant again as yet cos it's absolutely terrifying to face the prospect of another loss.

I had a complete m/c in April 07 and got pregnant with my DD the first cycle after the m/c. I was so scared that I would lose her and my early weeks of pregnancy were pretty miserable with lots of freaking out. But I'm glad we took the gamble of trying again as having DD was definitely worth it

I had a missed m/c recently with a d&c two weeks ago. We really would like a sibling for our DD so essentially we have no choice but to try again. My DH says he can't face the prospect of losing another bub but given there's no foolproof solution to preventing another m/c, all we can do is try. But it's sooooo scary.

I definitely understand how scary it is to face the prospect of another loss. I hope when you decide that the time is right that you will get your baby in your arms.

[milly5]

I felt that way after losing my first pg. It took me along time to want to TTC again.

This time though, I feel the opposite - I want to start right away.

thinking of you.

[human bean]

Thanks Ladies for your support - it's strangely comforting to know I'm not the only one that may be feeling this way. I do agree that it's a contrast of either putting off the bad or delaying the good.....soooo scary and quite an emotional rollercoaster.

I guess one of the biggest obstacles after actually falling pregnant again will be to relax and not spend the first trimester+ sick with worry that something could be wrong. This will probably be my biggest fear as we had a missed miscarriage so I had no idea that anything was wrong for a couple of weeks.

I hope we all get to hold our much wanted babes in our arms soon.... and thanks again.

[chris]

Hi HB
Do you feel ready to start TTC? (I understand the worried about staying pregnant part.) If your cycle is going well (for you) there is nothing stopping you from trying. Just remember that it takes time to fall that it might not happen the first month that you are TTC.

I was worried all through my preg with Miss D. I had the worst kind of pregnancy, I had pregnancy induced high BP from 11 weeks that just got worse through the pregnancy. I was in hospital quite a few times. I also got something called Irritable Uterus in the last few months. There was soooo many times I thought I was going to loose my baby.

But after going through it all I have come out of it all with a beautiful baby girl.

When you feel ready to TTC, ready to go through hell for that beautiful little baby at the end of the pregnancy. Start But you need to be ready to go through the good and also (god forbid) bad times to get that little bub.


There are so many women I went through my pregnancy with who had a bad time and there are also some who had a wonderful stress free pregnancy. You have to take that chance.

Good luck with what ever you decide.
Take care
Chris

[human bean]

Thanks Chris, and sorry it's taken so long for me to reply as we've just moved house and been offline for over a week.

I do feel ready to TTC again, and thankfully my cycles are pretty much like clockwork so we'll just see how we go from here on in. BB has been so great to work through all of these fears and something so simple as posting about how I feel does wonders to work through issues! It also helps to hear success stories such as yours to help alleviate the fears that creep in.

Thanks again,
HB

[chris]

Better start
Sending you lots of


Just remember that it can take time to get a BFP.

Take care
Chris