Going through the motions-is this normal?

[apple10]

Found out i am pregnant a few days ago. It wasn't planned, but wasn't a complete shock. It's not a bad thing, but the timing could have been better.

I don't really know what i am doing, what i am feeling and what i should be feeling.

It took me a day to tell hubby, who was shocked but excited.

Don't know if i want to tell people, and maybe this will help me to make it real. Or whether i should work it out myself first.

I saw a GP and she did blood tests, she said that it will settle in soon (i didn't really talk much about how i was feeling other than it wasn't 'planned'.)

All the posts show the woman being so happy, and it might be the dude getting his head around it.

I know i will prob feel silly next week, and be totally happy but at the moment i don't know what to do.

I have friends with pregnancy books, but can't really ask to borrow without it looking suspicious.

I guess i like to plan stuff, and i didn't plan this. don't really feel different, but know that something different is going on and i should be doing stuff or feeling stuff, and i'm just kind of numb.

is there anyone else that wasn't excited at the start?

is so thought that i would be excited. in the past, even when i didn't think i was pregnant but checked with pee on a stick, i was disappointed when there was only one line.

[skybie]

first things first, congratulations hun!
i think its normal especially if things weren't planned to feel a little less than excited.
Is this your first??
dont tell people just yet if ur not ready too, maybe wait till the 12 week mark and see how you feel then.
As for it 'feeling real' im nearly 30 weeks pregnant and it still dosnt feel real, or maybe im just in denial!! i thought telling people would make it feel real...nope, feeling baby move...nope, setting up a nursery...nope! lol maybe labour will make it feel real, but the way im going, probably not.
Good luck with everything
xxx

[apple10]

thank you.

it is my first pregnancy. been married a few years, definately old enough to have a kid.

love being around kids, but since i found out they are a bit too 'real' iykwim.

i want to happy for hubby, but don't want to fake it.

maybe its just fear of reality setting in.

i prob would have been horrible to live with if i was trying to conceive, so maybe it is a good thing it just happened.

thanks for replying

[skybie]

my first was very unplanned (i was19) and to be honest, i hated kids and really didnt think i'd made the right decision in sticking with it, but i did and im very glad i did.
you'll be fine, its scary, nerve wracking, stressfull, annoying but its the best thing you'll ever do

[willow5]

It's ok to not know how to feel specially if it wasn't planned and a bit of a surprise.
It can be scary once you realise you've got a little person growing inside you.
Hang in there and go with the flow it'll be all good in the long run I was 17 when I fell with my first and I was terrified but no regrets

Congratulations

[Nelle]

Congratulations, for when you start to feel good about things. xo

I don't think it's bad to feel a little shellshocked, it's going to be a huge change to your life, one full of many emotions from frustration, inadequacy and boredom through to delight, joy, huge amusement, tenderness, awe and bursting-with-pride.
It's a crazy roller coaster, and in my opinion, the best roller coasters are the ones where you have a few moments where you think you're actually not going to make it out.

And to be honest, I remember feeling a bit numb at first too, and mine were planned. You're not sure what to expect, and you can't see a belly or feel any movement so there doesn't seem to be anything to connect or bond with and it all feels a bit surreal. Give it some time, you'll get there, and don't worry in the meantime.

[bon]

Don't worry about it hun. I remember with bub no 3, I felt a bit ambivalent about it all when I first found out, even though we had been trying for another baby. I just never felt that excited about it. I don't know why, even now I don't really know why I felt like that because I was happy and excited with all the others. But of course we had a beautiful baby girl who is now 2 and such a joy to have in our lives. You will get there - just give yourself time. And don't feel like you have to tell anyone until you feel ready.

[phynna]

i was ecstatic the first day, and a stunned mullet for a week after that. Then terrified it would die till 6wk3d when i got my first dating ultrasound, when i finally started to feel like it wasnt going to die on me. But a horrible year of financial problems, relationship problems, in-laws problems, and a chronic case of a bad luck streak has me still tied between joy and protective feelings, and trouble bonding as already baby has caused dramas (lost job for one), sometimes i feel resentful, but i know it will pass, because i'm already so defiant that no in-laws will get custody, so i know there's already some love starting to form. 6 weeks to find out the sex yet, and then bubs will start to take on an identity, and we'll be even more closer again :-)
There's no doubt, the emotional rollercoaster you will ride will be amazing, but you'll get there, just dont allow yourself to feel guilty on top of it all, the love will come in good time!

[lotusindigo]

I can relate....I'm 7 weeks pregnant...completely unexpected. Boyfriend dumped me at 5 weeks for refusing to have an abortion, so I guess the excitement of it has been a little dulled...

Nevertheless, with each day that passes, I feel my desire growing, for the baby...and the excitement is slowly creeping in as I'm beginning to plan my life and future around the prospect of being a mother. In fact, I'm probably more excited than I even realise, as I know I'd be competely devastated if anything went wrong with the pregnancy...hopefully good food, vitamins and plenty of sleep will work in our favour.