The effect on mothers who had controlled crying as a baby

[meow]

I was wondering if anyone has any links to a study I recently heard about. My sister said she read about in her local paper but it wasn't referenced and I'd like to read more.

In essence the study found that mothers who were left to cry as a baby had increased anxiety when they heard their own baby cry.

Fingers crossed someone knows more about it! Thanks

[meow]

Just a little bump in case someone who knows this study hasn't seen this yet

[Visitor7]

I haven't heard anything like that. My mother used controlled crying with myself and my siblings, and I certainly don't have anxiety when any of my babies were to cry. I am a very relaxed person. Just thought I'd put my 2 cents worth in there

[meow]

Personally, I felt VERY anxious when my son cried as a young baby. I had to be holding him pretty much 24/7 and I think this was a really healing time for me to overcome my own disrupted attachment as an infant. So I'd love to see this study to find out more about what they studied and found.

As you say though Jodi, not everyone will feel this way. I remember watching that 1950's parenting guru lady, Claire someone, on Bringing up Baby and thinking that her ability to detatch from a baby's cry was possibly related to her own detatchment created from being raised to cry it out herself. So I can see how it could work both ways.

[ciara.e]

hi there

not sure if i can help you... my mum was the expert at control crying as she had 8 babies... but it didn't work for me... i still woke up at 2am every night up to about 3years old for a bottle LOL.

Even though she used the control crying technique on me, my personality was different and i probably continued to cry as i am an emotional person unlike my siblings. Saying this... I, nor my siblings seemed to have much problems ourselves with using this technique on our kids. I am actually the queen to tuning out a babies crying... it simply doesn't bother me. This however, could be a result of my learnings in areas of personal development and psychology at uni where i've hopefully gained at least a slightly better understanding of people (i'm certainly not judgemental of anything).

If you want to search studies, u should find a friend who is at uni and use their password to search their academic journals.. or try just a google search for academic journals in this area. Studies are published in academic journals normally.

I hope this has helped in some way, if not.. hopefully i have humoured you!

[Roryrory]

my mother was the queen of not letting a baby cry - I was rocked to sleep every night!!

but I HATED it when my babies even as much made a squeek!

[meow]

Thanks Ciara.e, I am actually at Uni studying early childhood so I have access to journals- I just don't seem to be able to find the right key words for this study, hence why I was hoping for some more info which I felt a BellyBelly member may have.

It's interesting the effect study has on you- MY study and knowledge of emotional, language and brain development has cntributed to my not wanting to leave my baby cry. I can't imagine what you are studying that makes you feel the opposite. Our Uni's must be sourcing very different material.

Good to hear I'm not the only one on here Roryrory!

[ciara.e]

i guess you take what you want out of inforormation you learn? I'm very aware of overdoing things with young children so as not to create any abandonment type issues... although i'm very conscious of not pulling them in too tight as I believe the consequences of this is just as bad in later life too. That's just one perspective. And you are right, perhaps we learn different material? But i like to think outside the square... some of the greatest theorists developed their theory whilst going against popular belief. My point is, no answer can be wrong in this area. I don't study early childhood, I am studying psychology and criminolgy... some scarey stuff in there and that's probably why we've both developed differring methods and beliefs.

As far as keywords... did the original article have anything about the condition this is supposed to cause in later life? or was it just really basic? I'll access my journal database and see if i can come up with anything.. but again, same problem as you... finding the right keyword. Will see what i come up with though.

As far as parenting is concerned... i just believe that each child is different and they'll react well to the techniques that suit their personality... we're all different after all.. If we take the time to learn to read our babies, well figure it out the right way. Just like me as a baby... i'd just get worse with this method cos i'm too emotional and I needed to be held a bit more... but i'm the only one of my whole family that was in this boat.

Its an interesting subject! Thanks for bringing it up!

[[M]umma[M]ia]

im sure my mum let me cry... and i dont have an issue with DD crying.

[lilima]

My mum never let me cry. She rocked me to sleep every night. I was anxious listening to DS cry, but with DD I seem to be able to tune out.

[Lady-bug]

I would love to know more about the study if you find it.

I don't know it my mum used CC on me I would guess she did.
I've never been able to listen to DS crying it makes me feel very anxious. Even babies I don't know.

[Willow]

No offence intended to those posting, but I think that's a total crock.

I don't think any mother enjoys listening to her baby cry and most would feel anxious.

[Visitor7]

Oh gosh, I hope my post didn't sound like I actually enjoy listening to my babies cry!!! Just to clarify, I don't get anxiety when I hear a baby crying. Certainly doesn't mean I enjoy it either.

[ciara.e]

yeah i don't 'enjoy' hearing a baby cry.. i just don't get upset and flustered by it. It's like saying every person gets anxious when another human being talks to them... crying is a baby's way to communicate. I'm not going to get anxious over completely normal communication.

[Liviam]

yeah i don't 'enjoy' hearing a baby cry.. i just don't get upset and flustered by it. It's like saying every person gets anxious when another human being talks to them... crying is a baby's way to communicate. I'm not going to get anxious over completely normal communication.

:yeahthat:

[Willow]

Sorry guys, 'enjoy' was a stupid choice of word.

Don't mind me, not in a good head space today and not being very eloquent!

[Inanna]

Mmmm well I know my mother believed that babies were naughty when they cried & I was left to cry all the time.

I had a completley different philosophy in parenting my own babies.

It is known that a babies cry does a little trip on the mamas - that's what it is for. So that the child can be attended to... I got incredibly anxious when DD14 cried & I held her for most of her first 2 years of life!

I also felt agitated & compelled to attend to my other children when they cried. However I didn't feel anxious.

I reckon it's a fairly normal reaction for Mamas to feel agitated, anxious wanting to respond to their crying baby...

[Willow]

Thank you Inanna, as usual you have said beautifully what I was trying to say.