11 mth old DD won't feed to sleep anymore.... bugger... what now?

[Shanti]

Hi,

My 11 mo has always BF to sleep and then I've been able to put her into her cot but lately the last 2-3 weeks she's resisting her sleep and not letting me feed her to sleep.... or rather, not letting herself fall asleep at the breast. She'll feed, drift off and then wake herself up really quickly and sit up as if to say "mum i'm ready to play again".... so this means now I have to try and settle her to sleep, bugger and so far it's not happening.
She will in the middle of the night, yes she'll fall asleep while BF'ing but not any other times.

For her day sleeps lately I have had to lie down with her and wait until she has stopped crawling and rolling all over the bed and sucking on and off the boob which can take 30mins or so before she exhausts herself and lies still long enough to fall asleep.... then i creep out of the bedroom.... we've been doing this for her bedtime also, lying with her while she falls asleep (again takes 30mins or so).....

We can't rock or hold her to sleep as she won't let us anymore she's just outgrown it?? I don't mind too much though as she is around 10kg now and getting heavy!

I don't really know the point of this thread but I guess just wanted to see how others are settling their babies (of similar age) to sleep if they wont' feed to sleep anymore or let you hold them? She has never taken a dummy either and I don't want her to anyway.
omg i would love love love just 5hrs straight sleep in a row.... it's been ages! LOL

We are seeing a Cranial Osteopath for DD's restlessness and lack of sleep and had the first appointment yesterday.... we'll see if that helps anyway. She finds it soooo hard to switch off for her sleeps and has been waking 2hrly EVERY night for the past 2mths. It started just before we moved house. She's in our room and we co-sleep. She starts off in her cot and ends up with us when she first wakes but lately she's in our bed all the time and won't sleep in her cot. I know babies at this age can still wake frequently but we haven't had a good nights sleep in 3mths where we've slept longer than 2-3hrs in a row We don't mind her waking for a feed or cuddle in the night 2 times or so but when it's this frequent it gets REALLY tiring.... That's too much for a baby this age to be waking that often, it just doesn't seem right to me. Osteopath was very good and picked up that her nervous system was on over drive a bit so he's going to be working on that helping her to relax a bit easier..... seeing him again in 2wks. He's very gentle and specialises in babies. DD feels very comfortable with him which is great. Just want our little girl to have some more sleep than she's getting.....

DD just went to sleep finally so off to have some rest.

[Heaven]

I'm hearing you about the night waking. Sooooo tired. Haven't had more than 3 hrs sleep in about 6 months!! But it seems lots of babies are the same at this age so I guess it is normal for some.

DD sometimes feeds to sleep and sometimes doesn't. During the day she will if she's really tired or if she doesn't then I have to rock her. She won't let me lie her down in a cradle hold and rock her anymore, just arches her back and kicks. So I have to sit on the fitball and sit her up on my lap facing me and she goes to sleep that way, then I can put her down no problem.

She usually feeds to sleep during the night when she wakes but the last few weeks hasn't been at times. Last night she didn't feed to sleep any of her wake ups!! (and there was about 6!! teething). But I am not getting up to rock her in the night. So what I do now is when she comes off if she's not asleep I just roll over and she rolls around for a bit and goes back to sleep on her own!! (which as you know for her is a bloody miracle!). At first she took a while. Was rolling around and chatting for 20mins or so but last night it was only 1-2 mins and she was back asleep. No crying or anything. If I don't fall asleep I can then move her back to her own bed but lots of the time she just stays with us bc I fall asleep.

[Shanti]

So what I do now is when she comes off if she's not asleep I just roll over and she rolls around for a bit and goes back to sleep on her own!! (which as you know for her is a bloody miracle!). At first she took a while. Was rolling around and chatting for 20mins or so but last night it was only 1-2 mins and she was back asleep. No crying or anything. If I don't fall asleep I can then move her back to her own bed but lots of the time she just stays with us bc I fall asleep.

This works for DD too... sometimes. I roll over and turn my back on her and she'll move around then fall asleep.... (usually after kicking me etc!!)

Well DD REFUSES to sleep in her cot now... it's like the separation anxiety has reached a new level..... even though her mattress is on the floor next to our bed that's now on the floor... (we took the frame away and just have our mattress on the floor now).

So her day sleeps are in our bed now too like now she's asleep on our bed... I used to be able to get her into her cot but rarely does she let me anymore

I know there are many babies similar age waking frequently of a night time too but I've heard some great reviews from other parents who have taken their babies to see an Osteopath for sleep and settling issues..... I'm hoping this helps anyway. If not, then we tried. And it's gentle.

[Arcadia]

shanti. You're having a real rough patch with sleep it seems!

DD went through a stage of a couple of weeks before x-mas where she just wanted to roll around when I was trying to feed her to sleep. I think she was actually just testing the boundaries, which they start to do more and more now.

I actually hold DD while sitting and feed her to sleep that way, then place her in the cot when she's in a deep enough sleep. If she starts back arching and fussing I say firmly "booby time now", and wait until she stops squirming. If she's really mucking up, I sometimes stand up and sway while I am feeding her, so she relaxes a bit.

Is it possible she is just not tired enough? I wait until DD is really grizzly and wants breast for comfort, rather than thinking about the time.

Oh its tough hey? This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass....

[Heaven]

Let me know if it works at all Ren and I'll be straight to see one!! LOL.

What happens when you put her in her cot? Do you put her in when she's asleep? Does she wake up straight away??

[Shanti]

Anna - DD used to let me do that but she won't now.... I can't remember the last time she fed to sleep while we're sitting together on the couch... I hope she goes back to it as it was soooo handy. And I'd transfer her to her cot no worries....probably 2wks ago she did.
she will fall asleep while feeding on the bed lying down during the day but she has to be 'dead' tired to do it...
yeah sometimes if she's not tired enough even if it's her usual sleep time i try again later 15mins later and that sometimes works.
they sure do test the boundaries....!!! they are smart lil things....
I'm always trying to put her down in her cot with a toy when she's really tired to see if she'll go to sleep on her own (like she used to!!) but she just screams at me as if to say "mum are you serious???"


Heaven - yep I put her in when she's fast asleep and sometimes she wakes.... or she wakes 5mins later.... because i'm not there. she can't smell me. she used to do it just fine.

Because she won't feed to sleep during the day sitting up lately, i have been letting her fall asleep next to me on the bed after a feed and then she just stays in our bed.... if i transfer her she may just wake up so its not worth it iywkim???

yep just a phase... just a phase... just a phase....

[sneakysparkle]

DD#2 is doing the same thing at the moment - she doesn't want to feed to sleep - she just wants to lie down in her cot.

The problem atm is that she finds it hard to wind down and lie still (sounds like your DD!) so even though you can tell she wants to lie down herself, I pick her up when she's too restless and rock her for a bit to help her relax. Sometimes she really fights it, but I gently persist and then when she's all relaxed (may take a while!) I'll put her back down and she'll go to sleep.

At the moment its taking about 20 minutes all up to get her to sleep -but I know it will get better so I'm not worried. Since not feeding her in the night she has pretty much stopped waking up (and, like you guys - I was getting up to her 2-4 times a night!)

(Sorry for all the disjointedness here, but I'm just typing as I think!) The other thing that makes a difference is having quiet time at least half an hour before bedtime (turn the tv off, lights down etc)

Anyway i think Ive rambled enough! I guess my point is - we're in the same boat - I think its just a trasitional stage

[Heaven]

You probably remember, up until about 6 months DD WOULD NOT sleep in her basinette/cot. The way I got her out of it was putting a pillow down on the bed and sort of putting her down half on that so she would roll onto her side and I could squish my arm down into the pillow to get it out from under her. Anyway, that probably makes no sense. But days when she won't let me put her down that still works for me.

You sound really tired atm, let me know if there's anything I can do to help? I can look after her while you sleep or something.

[Shanti]

Heaven - thanks but it sounds like you are just as tired as me!!
It's only because I haven't had more than 3hrs straight sleep in a row for a few weeks now... I also find it hard to sleep at night sometimes myself and I find i'm wide awake because I worry she'll wake me if i fall asleep... kwim??? I'm sure you understand that!!
do you sleep during the day when your DD sleeps?

Sneaky - yeah i would love to rock DD to sleep but she won't let me lately... she kicks and arches her back and screams and wants to be put down but doesn't want to be on her own...

so the best thing for us at this stage i guess is keep doing what we are doing?
And that is....lying down with her when she's letting us know she's real tired and waiting for her to stop moving around and rolling etc and then wait til she drifts off.... which takes about 30mins.... I guess that's the best thing for us at the moment... at least then I get rest too!

I'd say it's just a stage (like all of it! LOL!) and she'll outgrow it soon enough.... would just love to see my little girl getting more sleep. she slept 1.5hrs just before so that was really good. I got to lie down.

Just wanted to see what others were doing....

ps she woke up just before and was blowing raspberries on my tummy.... haha cute....makes it all worthwhile

[Jakabella]

Yep Bella used to do this to but it has all passed now, She used to co-sleep but I didnt get a great sleep so she is back in her cot now. At night I try and put her down after her feed but if she is awake I will wait 15 mins as long as she is NOT crying and if she is not asleep then get up for 15 mins and keep going. Some nights she will not go to bed till 9.30 - 10pm but when she goes down she is usually down for the count. She will some times wake for a bottle around 3am but then back to bed awake and will drift off and sleep till 7am. Last night it was 7pm till 7am! That is a first for a long time!

I think the thing that changed all the sleep issues for us was to not push it = I used to spend alot of time trying to get Bella to sleep and I would get upset and so would she - so now I follow her lead and it only took a few night time partys to get a routine going! I also go with her lead during the day as well - if she has 2 sleeps all good or if she has no sleeps all good.

I also try to play physical games during the day as well - we play a game where she crawls around and I chase her - she LOVES it! She laughes so much that she cant crawl anymore! Bella is walking alot now also so she is using alot energy that way as well.

Dunno if anything that I said helps - but I guess its good to know that we were having the same sleep issues and now they are better! It WILL get better!!

Kate

[Shanti]

Jakabella - yep same here... we don't force her sleep.. if she doesn't want to sleep then we don't make her... she must not be tired enough and as i said below, we then try again 15mins later....
My situation is a bit different to your's though, your DD has quite often slept through the night (correct me if i'm wrong!).... so if she doesn't sleep through the day i guess it's not as a big deal for her....
if my DD has been up 2hrly all night, i NEED her to sleep during the day too... kwim?? lol
so i can get rest.... but her day sleeps are great.. she has two big day sleeps (most days) so im really lucky. (1hr and then 1.5hr most days)

just getting her to sleep is our problem at the moment... but im sure it will pass. oh, that and the frequent night wakings....(not always teething related!)

[Sterla]

DS is starting to do this occasionally - I started a thread about it too! I'm the same - if he won't let me feed him to sleep, I'm very stuck! I've managed to rock him to sleep a few times, but it takes a long time and a lot of changing positions and him squirming... it's like he has all the built up energy he needs to release before he can allow himself to fall asleep.

That sucks about the night sleeping too! We've had some rough patches, and even now it's rare to get more than 3 hours at a time out of DS. I hope you get some solutions!

[Rowellen]

ps she woke up just before and was blowing raspberries on my tummy.... haha cute....makes it all worthwhile

So cute! My DS does that too! I love it.

I have been having some sleep issues lately with DS. He's about the same age as your DD. It has improved recently as he is now having 1 longer day sleep instead of 2. He was having 2 one & a half hour sleeps at about 9 or 10 then 2 -3. Now he is sleeping 3+ hours over lunch. This has improved things considerably & he has stopped fighting so much when it's sleep time. I guess he just wasn't tired before. The routine is still out of wack but it is gradually settling down. He was also waking regularly at night, I think it was a combination of teething & not being tired enough. Now he is back to waking just once. I also think he is going to start walking soon so going through one of those milestone phases.

Sorry that's a bit wordy.

I hope you get some sleep soon.

[Peach*]

Similar thing happening in this house! DD hasnt fed to sleep in almost two weeks. She slept the full night in her pram last night(finally fell asleep around 2 am Aaaaargh) after me trying boob, patting , rocking, repeat repeat

Will your DD go to sleep in her pram? We have been taking DD for a walk(covered so she cant see all the action) and then transferring DD into her cot at night once she is in a deep sleep. Although last night we couldnt make the transition... Its handy as we can just have the pram next to our bed too if need be.

Ive been fantisising this week about CC as bad as that sounds it just feels like everyone who does it has perfect babies who sleep happily at bed time without a peep. I jnow thats not the way it works though...

Good luck with your appt Shanti.

[Arcadia]

Ive been fantisising this week about CC as bad as that sounds it just feels like everyone who does it has perfect babies who sleep happily at bed time without a peep. I jnow thats not the way it works though...

peach. I think we have all fantasised at some point!

Our babies WILL sleep better in time! In the meantime we are creating perfectly attached babies, who feel secure and confident in the knowledge you are always there. I just have to look at the confident, outgoing, smiley little girl I have to know its all worth it!

Maybe we should all start threads about how to get extra help so we can sleep in the day and not worry about other things, so we can parent in a way that is best for our family.

gentle parenting is hard sometimes!

[Shanti]

Woohoooo DD is feeding to sleep again!!! It's been 3wks since she has.... omg yay!!!!
Last night and today for her day sleep!!! hope she keeps it up! I love it.... it's so easy.....

[Peach*]

Thats great to hear Shanti, Happy birthday to your DD

[SammyRo]

DD did exactly the same thing at around the 7month mark - feeding stopped working, and she started waking 4-5 times nightly. I'd just get her to sleep in my arms then do the transfer but 5mins later she would wake up again. Or else, she would have a feed and then not settle for another 45mins!

At night, what worked, was putting her in her cot and just sitting next to her and patting either her or the mattress (she wears clothies, so I would pat her bum quite firmly). THe first night it still took 45mins but no tears, by the end of the week, it would only take 15mins.

Daytime was a different story - she struggled to wind down without a feed, but didn't want a feed either, if i tried the patting in the cot, she would just scream and scream, so we ended up going for long, long walks in the pram! I lost the last of my baby weight donig this 2x a day so that was a bonus!!

Good luck, it does get better!! (although for us it got better, then worse but now, she will take her teddies and dummy and stand next to the cot ready to lie down, and we can walk out and leave her happily to drift off - this time last year that seemed like it would never happen in our house!)