I just need to vent really. If anyone has any bright ideas they would be welcome, but I feel like we have everything covered! You never know though.
I thought it would be different this time. I was prepared for some basic issues, but I can't believe that I am unlucky enough to have maternal AND child related issues with breastfeeding, with BOTH of my babies . One or the other I could cope with, but both is just giving me a headache and making me miserable. I guess I'm lucky that this time I am better prepared, know what to do and where to go for help. But I still feel very lost, and very lonely. We are EXTREMELY lucky that DS2 has been fed exclusively with BM, something that is very tricky with a prem. I am ever grateful to our BM donors, it has taken a huge amount of stress out of this experience.
I need to come to terms with this, and be able to move on to BF DS2 in whatever way is possible for us. I know it can be done, but the unknown is really stressing me out. Why oh why can't I be one of those people who have the usual first six weeks of issues and then go on to BF exclusively? I want this so much, surely it's not too much to ask?????
i dont have any advice, just some big squishy hugs..
I know how you feel (to an extent) i had soo many problems bfing, and im totally scared that the same things are goign to happen with the next bub, but i gotta stay positive!!
I hope it all works out well for you, and it sounds to be like your clued up, and thats one of the biggest steps
But you are the kind of very determined Mum who is probably going to be posting in here in a couple of years saying "how do I gently wean this booby monster...".
I can understand not wanting to do it all again - but what I want you to remember is that in the end you won last time and you can win again. Get the best help you can, call the ABA and cry at them 'cause that's what they're for, and give DS2 as much milk as you are able to.
I am guessing that now is the hardest time of all - teaching DS2 what to do and at the same time trying to get some sort of supply happening. Both of those things should get better.
If there's anything I can do please let me know
hugs
Kate
I feel for you, I too have been there in different kind of ways.
DD1 I exclusively expressed for as she is unable to suck.
DD2 I had so much hope, I prepared as much as possible and went in with a positive mind and it did not turn out as planned.
DD2 was discharged from hospital at 16 days old with 80% of her feeds through her NGT, I was also expressing full time for her feeds, I felt like she was never going to drink, from the breast or EBM through a bottle but then at 5 weeks something just clicked, she went from 80% feeds through her NGT to 80% bottle and 20% breast, we removed the BGT. Then at 6 weeks she decided that breast was best and she has never looked back.
The first 6 weeks are definately hard and even more so when you have a prem or sick baby, you are doing a fantastic job keeping with it so long, your little boy is getting stronger everyday, believe in yourself and in your baby, you can and will succeed.
How wonderful to hear that you have some wonderful BM donors, what amazing women.
Huge, huge, huge hugs to you Janie Sending you all my strength! You can do it! That's why he chose you. (But please do take time to cry, and rest, and vent, and plead for help). We are all here for you. More hugs.
awwwwwwwwwwww hun. you are doing an amazing job, you and i both know that, i wish so much that you can have the best breastfeeding experience possible (and i know you will) but maybe give him a little longer, remember he's not ment to be here jsut yet, hes still tiny. have you tried a feedline?? call me if you need to
Oh Janie I'm sorry you having a rough time again It is AN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT to have a premmie who hasn't has any formula at all - WELL DONE!!!
I'm hoping that someone someone will have the answer for you. What is happening hun?
Thanks everyone. Liviam, it's low supply again. I mean, there's also the whole teaching-the premmie-baby-to-BF, and tiny-baby-that-needs-to-gain-weight-well, but it's the supply issues that are really getting to me. I know that they're compounded by the other stuff, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that it's a problem in itself, if that makes sense. I'm doing the works, feeding, pumping, taking all the galactologues, resting when I can, wearing him in a sling etc etc. I'm also looking into a specific herbal galactologue that is popular OS, but I can't seem to get it here. I think it would be beneficial to my specific situation.
I think I have a bit of a block regarding formula.........I'm pretty sure that DS2 will have to be comped with it. I know this logically, yet I can't quite come to terms with it. I think I'm going to have to at some stage though! For now I'm in denial, and hopefully I'll be able to stay there and things will magically improve .
You know, I have so many issues surrounding all of this it's not funny! But for now I just want to say IT'S NOT FAIR .
You can do it Janie, just hang in there hun
you have the best supporters around you, and i agree with what Kate said, i bet in a year or two you'll have the biggest booby monster ever!
Janie I don't know what words of wisdom I can bring forth at this moment that can make anything any better. But I understand the stress and strain A few things (even though I know you are doing them all )
Remember you have only been home for a short time and it will take some time to adjust and settle into a routine with the two little people and the extra feeding demands of a prem. All of the extra work to stimulate your supply is stressful - and stress only makes things more challenging. DH not being home as often as you would like is going to be hard. Other family issues will make it even more difficult. And I know you don't want to feel like DS1 is being left out or ignored. Combined, it can make it so very hard for you to feel like you are *succeeding* all round.
But you are succeeding!!!! You have done a fabulous job to get you and your little man home in time for Easter and the other event that shall not be named You ARE BF your son - and doing a bl00dy wonderful job of that too. Yep - your supply sucks. Again. But you are still giving him the most vital thing in the world. A loving mummy who is doing everything (and more) in her power to feed him.
I am around tomorrow if you need to chat. Or I might just call you anyway for that *reason*
I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Don't ever forget it.
Janie - I just want you to know that your support and strength kept me on my bfing journey with Eva. You'll never know how much I appreciate your guidance and support. Please accept this huge cyber hug from me . You are such a wonderful mum and your are doing an amazing job. Day by day hun, day by day.
Hun I wish I could bestow on you some if the wise words and wonderful support you have provided to me and others in the past. What I will say is that when things all feel overwhelming, try to block out the big picture and just look at the now.
The now
* your boy is home
* you are breastfeeding him even though he was born prem (that in itself is a huge achievement in itself.
* you have the most amazing knowledge about all things bf so you are way ahead of most of us to begin with.
Just focus on the now babe, try not to torture yourself with the what ifs because if you break it up into day by day it isn't going to seem so daunting, tomorrow is a new day.
Janie, I'm not sure what advice to give in return for all the wonderful advice you gave me when I had trouble breastfeeding DS. I know you know what you are doing is everything you can possibly do for your DS at this time and for that you've already given him a great start. I can totally relate to how you are feeling about being in denial - I was that way with DS. Your support over the last couple of years was one of the reasons I kept pushing through all the obstacles and I whilst I have no wise words of wisdom, here is all the support and understanding from me xox You are doing great, keep hanging in there, one day at a time
Thank you thank you thank you everyone. I can honestly say that your words, all of them, have helped me to feel better, on a night when I really needed that. I've known all along that this is going to be a long, hard road. I think my real upset comes from the possiblity that for all our hard work, we may not actually reach our goal. Well, our ultimate goal anyway. Sometimes I feel so embarrassed that I am not succeeding at feeding my baby exclusively from ME, that I just want to hide. I find it really hard to talk about, because I feel so shamed.
I'm glad I started this thread, I might just use it as a place to vent my frustrations as they crop up. I know that last time our 'Motilium thread' was very helpful . I'll also chat to some of my ABA counsellor friends/supports.
LOL Michelle, I would be embracing tomorrow's event, if only I had the time and the energy!!!!
ETA Oh, and I'm really touched to think that I may have been able to help some of you in some small way on your BFing journeys. I am so pleased for you all, you've done beautifully!!!! You've put a smile on my face
Another one you have helped with your words & advice
big hugs Janie, I wish I had something useful to offer, all I can say is you are an inspiration & you're doing such a great job PLEASE don't feel ashamed, just the opposite you should be proud of your dedication & determination that have brought you this far
Registered User
So frustrated that I'm here again......
. One or the other I could cope with, but both is just giving me a headache and making me miserable. I guess I'm lucky that this time I am better prepared, know what to do and where to go for help. But I still feel very lost, and very lonely. We are EXTREMELY lucky that DS2 has been fed exclusively with BM, something that is very tricky with a prem. I am ever grateful to our BM donors, it has taken a huge amount of stress out of this experience.
i dont have any advice, just some big squishy hugs..
.
You ARE BF your son - and doing a bl00dy wonderful job of that too. Yep - your supply sucks. Again. But you are still giving him the most vital thing in the world. A loving mummy who is doing everything (and more) in her power to feed him.
. I'll also chat to some of my ABA counsellor friends/supports.
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