2.5 year old with majooor attitude ... hellllp!!!

[kirsty_lee]

So I think my 2.5 year has turned into a toddler!!!!!! Its seriously doing my head in. Especially her latest new phrases "Go Away", " I don't want too", "Shut up" and my all time favourite "I don't care!" .. yep she uses all of these in context I just don't know how to make it stop! She's already not listening, which is frustrating enough as it is, but when you ask her to stop what she's doing, that's when you get the "I don't want to, I don't care" And it's all I hear lately. I've been calm with her and got down on her level and told her nicely that we don't say that and it's not very nice and it makes mummy sad when we say it, but that doesn't make any difference. I am just at my wits end at the moment and starting to really lose patience. Please tell me I am not the only one, and what did you do to cope with it!

[Footsteps]

I have no advice huni but huge hugs and I hope some lovely ladies have some advice. xox

[beckoes]

oh hun, DD is just 2 and went through a phase of totally hating DP for about a week, was terrible! would let him near her, and would just shout ''i hate you daddy, get away from me'' but we tried really hard not to make a fuss and it passed.
Different to your situation but maybe its just a phase, she is pusshing boundries and learing that she can control things. no real advice....il think about it! hope you get some good advice!

[Mother Goose]

I have no idea but my 3.5 year old is the same. She screams and screams. I am so over it. I am dreading the teen years.

I've also tried the calm voice, getting on her level, rationalising it with her, ignoring, praising good behavior... and it's done nothing. I've tried time out, removal of toys... I don't know what else to do...

[Mum2SweetCs]

KL my DD is 2 yrs and 3 months and she has major attitude too! "No", "Go away", "You cant do that!" "Dont touch me!" Last night, she chucked all my papers around the room and i asked her to not do it 3 times. I then held her hands together and told her to "Stop, the paper is making a mess" before threatening the naughty corner. She said to me "Mum stop that! Dont touch me! You cant do that. Go away"

Seriously, soon she will be calling DOCS on me =(

[*EJ*]

"2, 2.5, 3, 3.5 they all do it", is what i keep getting told

Each day i keep reminding myself it's normal or a phase that will pass, i keep looking at my parenting and thinking that i must be somehow failing and failing him to be having a child with this attitude. As i type he's screaming at his little brother for even being close to him it's so disheartening at times.

Honestly i have no real advice because i'm struggling too and have been going to post something myself but haven't gotten around to it. He may have caught me on an emotional day but last Saturday he had me in tears within less than an hour of being up.

Getting down to her level and calming talking to her sounds great, i think what i'm beginning to learn is at their age as nicely as we say things and try and explain ourselves as clearly as possible it doesn't mean they'll listen to reason in any way. I was told by my DS's day carer to try keep calm and replicate the things we want them to do, the sharing, the taking turns, speaking nicely to each other. We're not going anywhere today and i'm going to give it a go, get down on their level play with them and really try and throw in some positive examples of 'being kind' and 'playing well with others'. It's a daily battle and i hope it gets easier.

I'm absolutely terrified about having a teenager

[krysalyss]

My advice is - be really nice to your partner and vice versa. They will be the ones to give you cuddles as you await the return of your normal little girl. She will pop in from time to time - just enough to give you hope, but don't expect her to stay for at least a few more years. I will let you know when my little DS comes home. :P

[Gabi]

It can be so frustrating dealing with a behaviour alllll day one day, only to get up and deal with the exact same thing the next day.

One thing which has been helping with my 2yo lately is simply to reflect back to him so that he knows I am listening to him. I can't believe how many tantrums it helps me avoid. It's usually not hard to guess what he is really upset about or what he really wants to do, so instead of letting him lead into 'no no no no no no no no' (his favourite word ) I interrupt him and say 'you don't want to have a bath do you? you want to stay here and play. You want me to go away' etc etc. It's amazing. He starts to look at me, and talk to me calmly and then he hops in the bath

It's got to pass soon.

[danniellabella]

My DD is doing this to at 2 years 5 months. She likes to say "stop it" and "I don't like it" and "go away" and "I don't want to" - all in the right context.

It's hard when for the past 2 years I've just been able to get her to do the things I want her to do. I guess this is all part of growing up. They develop their will and learn how to make their own decisions.

[deletedit]

We get some of this with the 2.5yo.

Try and brush her hair - "Don't touch my hair!" Fix for this one is to brush someone else's hair, then she wants hers done too. I use DD#1 for this, since she is usually a knotty mess too.
"Don't touch my <insert body part here>". Fix - tickle her. You can't complain when you're giggling.

Most of the other stuff she gets from her big sister and will only use on her big sister. Like "shut up", "go away", "DD#1's being stupid", "don't talk with food in your mouth", "stop that", "don't hit me" etc, which we never hear when DD#1 isn't home. With us we usually get "I need to snuggle" or other cutenesses.

[YoYo]

My DS certainly chucks his wobblies, but he is being ever so good lately (touch wood). If he says 'go away' or 'don't do this or that' then like another PP I reiterate to him that I understand, and I just don't do it. He actually says 'go away' a lot to our helper and I've noticed that she gets in his face too much and he just doesn't like it. They all now just have the words to express how they are feeling, and that is a good thing.

If DS isn't listening, I get him to 'turn on his listening ears' and he tugs on them and will then listen to me. I make sure he looks at my face too rather than being distracted by something else.

Everything always passes, you just have to ride the wave

[kirsty_lee]

Ohhh I am sooo glad to know I am not the only one going through this right now lol It's soo frustrating. She's even figured out that if mummy says no, go ask daddy! And I'll be sitting there gobsmacked while shes asking daddy. Or she'll ask for something and i'll say no ava not right now and she'll just ask it again directed at dp and just keep asking over and over and asking over the top of me like blatantly ignoring me! I can see her teenage years already lol and I am scared!

[JordieC]

I'm there with the others - so glad others are going through same thing because at least it sounds like it's more of a phase than a huge concern. I keep telling myself that if I act normally - calm and positive during this lousy stage then she will come out the other end better for it - sooo hard sometimes!

[kelebek]

I try and pick my battles, that is if it appropriate I will ignore it. I think this a really important stage as this is when they are learning to stand up for themselves and put in boundaries for themselves. The challenge for us is teaching them to be assertive and not aggressivie

DS asked daddy for something that I had already said no and daddy asked DS what mummy said and DS said mummy said yes :O I couldn't believe my ears and that he was playing me already lol

I pray it passes quickly

[Ozziehoffy]

Aaaaargh it really does do your head in some days doesn't it!!! I also try to pick my battles, in fact tonight I told DH I thought he needed to pick his battles a little more lol....like the get out of the bath one tonight, it really wasn't going to hurt to say ok you can have 2 more minutes but then you need to hop out if you still want to go and listen to some music. Then there are those days where EVERYTHING is a battle omg. But I wanted to do this, I wanted you to park the car there... (yes I'm serious lol)... ahhh deary me. I sometimes tell him that when he stops whinging about it and speaks nicely I will listen again. I find the problem is that every day it seems what worked the day before doesn't work the next day..... lol eeek! And that's why we have BELLYBELLY!!!

[deletedit]

She's even figured out that if mummy says no, go ask daddy!

Doesn't work in our house! I am The Law, and all that dwell here defer to me *puts dominatrix hat on*

Except the tv, the other half has domain over the tv. Its actually a computer. The little people have FINALLY been trained to direct all questions about computers to him not me, but it took 6 freakin years to do it and she still occasionally asks me first.

DD#1 was watching Strictest Parents last night and told me I was strict. Thanks for noticing, kiddo.

[kelebek]

don't mean to hi-jack your thread but just had to share a couple of story's from today.

So DS wanted a lollypop and I said if you finish your breakfast you can (yes I know it's early but it gives the sugar time to wear off) well he didn't finish his breakfast so there was no lollipop and he is obviously not happy. I needed to go to the toilet and was sitting on there when he comes in and get's up me and tells me to "get off as it is Daddy's toilet" then later when we were in the kitchen he asked again and I said no so he goes "I know" and goes and get's a chair and takes it over to the cupboard - shame I knew it was never going to reach.

[Ozziehoffy]

lol had to giggle.... Oskar chucks tantrums sometimes if we go to the toilet... he starts yelling and carrying on saying "but I wanted to go first" lol... ummmm well too late now. Lollipops... ahhhhh I have them UNDER the kitchen sink behind a child locked door in an airtight container lol.