Am i a prude for thinking its inappropriate?

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Another thread has got me thinking, actually i've been thinking this for a while, usually after seeing a teenage girl wearing barely anything..

I've noticed quite a few girls aged 12-16 wearing very short shorts (cut offs are what i theyre called ) plus wearing only a bra and a see through top or very loose ones where you can see all the way up/down.

Not only wearing very short shorts where you can see their bum cheeks but very short dresses/skirts. I even saw a girl about 15-17 wearing one of those boob tube bras and a pair of the shortest shorts i just think thats HIGHLY inappropriate attire for in public! It hasn't even been that hot here maybe the highest we've got to is 35 degrees!

My Step MIL said that when she was staying with one of DPs auntys her daughter left the house wearing a top where you could see both nipples and she was 14!

So not only do i think most of what young girls where nowadays is inappropriate but what are the parents thinking letting their daughters walk around like that!?

I was on a bus with DP when a young girl around 12/13 got on wearing one of the examples and i whispered that DD would NEVER be allowed to wear that let alone own them! I then changed my mind and said that perhaps maybe around the house as no one would see her. But i see no need for shorts so short you see their bum cheeks or tops that cover nothing. I mean good on them for being confident in their bodies but no one wants to see it.

So am i a prude?

[glenny_c]

I don't think you're a prude hon. I think there comes a time when it is the parents job to protect their children. We may not like the fact that scantily clad girls/women are seen as sexual objects but the sad reality is that for some people that is the case. I think a 12 year old girl is too young to understand how others may be viewing her dressed like that so it is up to the parents to protect our daughters from being veiwed in that way and possibly harmed.
Do I think it's sad and wrong that this is the case?- yes I do. But sometimes you need to accept that the world is not the perfect place we would sometimes wish it to be and teach our children about the reality of the world.
At home is a different story as I would hope that my children feel comfortable enough to wear anything (or nothing) at home with us. But teaching them about appropriate dress for outside the home is all part of being a responsible parent and equipping them for how life really is.

[Rivlas]

Nope

[Saffy]

No I agree with you

[Charlotte91]

No! I think it's horrible what teens wear in public.

[Heaven]

Nope. You'll never see my girls wearing that. Revolting!

[Maruschke]

I think it is important we teach our daughters to love their bodies, feel comfortable in their own skin, to not hate their nudity, etc etc. But having positive body image DOESN'T need to correspond to body flaunting. I think that is the message that gets lost.

They need to know they are beautiful within themselves, instead of getting that message from the looks of approval of men and friends, from wolf whistles and winks.

FWIW I think the most beautiful and sexy women dress classy, not skimpy.

[Amity]

Susie O'Brien has a blog on today about Deborah Hutton (she's 50) doing a full frontal nude photo shoot for Women's Weekly (or some similar). The blog is all about how we should be comfortable in our own bodies and not worry about photoshopping photos etc.

Certainly teens these days wear different things from what I did. The whole Goth scene was something different - I don't recall that being around when I was younger (or, more probably, I didn't move in circles where that was acceptable).

On the whole, I think your attitude reflects your upbringing. I was brought up in an upper-middle-class suburb, went to top-notch private schools and then onto law at university. It's a fairly sheltered upbringing. My attitude to dress is well in accordance with my upbringing.

If I had a different upbringing, then I would probably have a different attitude.

[Maruschke]

I saw her nude shot. She looks great for her age. She managed to pose without being provocative. It was well done I think .

[Marley&Me]

Totally agree.

Young girls these days are wearing next to nothing and it's sending the wrong message. And I am by far a prude!

[Ms_Fi]

We make my almost 14 year old do the bend over test before she goes out ( as in if we can see bum cheek when she bends over the shorts / skirt are too short to be worn out in public) and so far we've only had one argument about how I'm being mean and unfair.

If her older brother had his way she'd never leave the house with any skin showing as he gets really stressed out with some of her clothes. Mostly she's a boho mess but sometimes she pulls it together to look good!!

DD2 is growing so quickly that she always wears boarded under her dresses otherwise she ends up flashing her knickers within 2 weeks of owning something new.

[mummame]

hmmmmm rewind 20 years...how many times did I go out of the house wearing what my parents thought was respectable, to only change at my friends house or roll the top of my skirt up so it was hell short???? My daughter is just 6, but the height of a 10 year old. We have to buy her clothes in the pre teens section. No pretty lacy dresses for my daughter, up the bum cut off shorts are all that are available.

[Livinthedream]

I have no problem with nudity per se.
I do have an issue with the sexualisation of children/teens or any one for that matter (strippers etc).
So I see nothing wrong with someone skinny dipping, but I dislike micro skirts/shorts and extreme push up bras and see through tops.
To me the whole point of wearing clothes like that is tantalise/tease people.
Why would you want to do that to strangers?

[nickle730]

My nieces are 12 and 13. Compared to some of their friends they dress conservatively! However, they both wear shorts which in my opinion are far too brief to be worn in public. Seriously, if your arse is hanging out the bottom, they're too short!! My 13 year old niece in particular looks far older than her age. She is very tall (dad is 6ft 8in!) and well developed. I have seen the way grown men look at her. The attention she receives, even when dressed 'appropriately' is already of an openly sexual nature. I don't believe she is aware of the attention she is getting, although she looks very mature she is not particularly mature in her personality. My concern is... she and her sister and their friends are wearing clothing which attracts attention and invites men to peer at their body. But at 12, 13, 14.... they are not yet mature enough to deal with, or to even understand the nature of the attention they are garnering. A recipe for disaster in my opinion! The clothing (tiny shorts, tops with bras on display) suggests a sexual maturity which these girls don't, and shouldn't, yet possess.

I am certainly not suggesting that a woman who dresses provocatively is 'asking for it'. The idea of blaming a woman for sexual assault because of her clothing appalls me. But I do think that we, as mothers, should protect our children form an adult idea which they simply don't understand, or which they may believe they can control but which we know they can't.

I have spoken to my sister about the clothing my nieces wear (ah, yes... the padded bra my 12 year old niece wears under skimpy singlet tops! WTF??). But she fails to see a problem and tells me that this is what they like to wear and what all their friends wear. I have also spoken to my nieces about their clothing choices, but they simply tell me that they like it and it's comfortable.

Coincidentally, yesterday I was discussing the issue of short shorts with a girlfriend who came over for a swim. We both have 8 year old DD's and both were wearing short board shorts with their rashies. When do short shorts become inappropriate? At what age? I think they are fine for any age at the beach or the pool, but I have taken my DD to the supermarket in hers. Neither of our girls is developing and they are both quite small for age, but we had both reached the point of considering whether those board shorts are appropriate away from the beach or the pool. When do you think they are no longer appropriate?

And do they then become ok again at a later age? Because honestly, I have no problem with a woman in her 20's wearing short shorts or skimpy clothing. She is mature enough to know and understand her own sexuality and sexual attention and if she chooses to dress in a skimpy way... well, all good for her! So , do you think skimpy clothes are ok on girls/women who have reached maturity?

[Rouge]

Everyone has said the same thing about every generation. And some generations have been worse than ours if you look at the fashion. Class and education have nothing to do with it. What gives me the irrits is women who aspire to be that way as adults yet pick on teens for doing the same. Pot kettle black much? Giving your children a healthy body image and self worth is more than just preventing them from wearing certain clothes or we wouldn't have so many women with eating disorders be it overeating or not eating at all. No my children dont wear slinky clothes. But they also don't see their mother doing the same or better yet admiring those that do. And I would rather teach her that it just looks gross rather than telling her about a message it gives. Because really women should be able to wear whatever they want to and not fear the wrong attention. But we still haven't evolved. And we still make excuses for men like they are some poor helpless animal not in control of their impulses. Rubbish.

[Marley&Me]

And do they then become ok again at a later age? Because honestly, I have no problem with a woman in her 20's wearing short shorts or skimpy clothing. She is mature enough to know and understand her own sexuality and sexual attention and if she chooses to dress in a skimpy way... well, all good for her! So , do you think skimpy clothes are ok on girls/women who have reached maturity?

Yes, women in their 20's + can dress how they want BUT, I think it is setting a bad example for younger girls. I have a few short skirts for the summer and a couple of minor cleavage tops, but some of the things I see getting around these days. Seriously, is it really necessary??

[Saffy]

nickle- you have to laugh at young girls saying the clothes are comfortable- as if shorts going up your crack constantly is comfortable!!

I remember many, many moons ago tottering around in short shorts and massive platforms thinking I was the ants pants- I'm sure if questioned i would have said that was comfortable too

[*LittleMissSummer*]

When do you think they are no longer appropriate?

And do they then become ok again at a later age?

So , do you think skimpy clothes are ok on girls/women who have reached maturity?

IMO they are swim wear so i think they are always appropriate, you see little girls wearing just bathers. However bikinis for little girls is ridiculous and not necessary!

My BFF used to dress very skimpy in school, she wore very short skirts and little tops. She is now 24 and is horrified and embarassed at the outfits she wore. She agrees that she was immature and wore the clothes for attention. I feel that alot of teenage girls are like this.

Honestly, when i see a 20 something year old wearing skimpy clothes i don't think anything, actually no i mostly think "oh i hate her she looks awesome i wish i could pull that off" They walk with that confidence in themselves where as teenage girls they walk around wanting boys to look at them.

Saffy - I just laughed at your post i often see girls picking their shorts out of their butts! And the girls who have bigger thighs are more likely to have them ride! How is that comfy! I wear short shorts around the house and thats as far as ill go as i have horribley white legs!