Ugh, being forced into toilet training William has been a *****. He's 2yrs 4 months and he's doesn't talk, so how am I supposed to know when he wants to go?! I'm afraid he's gonna be in nappies when he starts pre-primary! Currently sitting next to him for the past 15 mins waiting, and I just know I'll take him off in a minute and he'll do something!
And that's my next issue - he doesn't 'act' like all these other 2 yr olds that I've seen on tv shows, IRL, and doesn't even really do anything that an 12 or 18month old does. He doesn't have a vocabulary of (minimum I was told) 150 words. His vocabulary right now is 2. 'Mumum' and 'again'. They are the only things he says.
He doesn't pick his clothes, he doesn't jump (he rocks side to side while trying to dance, that's bout it), doesn't climb stairs, doesn't put things in a bin, doesn't walk anywhere unless he's at home, ILs place, my dad and grandmothers house or at daycare, doesn't like to draw, or paint, doesn't want to be read to (although he'll open a book and turn the pages and look at the pictures), doesn't repeat anything if I say it (tried today to say 'Kat' and he just ran around laughing), doesn't know anything on his body and doesn't point to it on our bodies, doesn't 'play pretend' and rarely does what I ask of him (only thing he does is pick up things when I say 'Ta for mummy') He's obsessed with grabbing my hair (something my brother does too when he's over here or we're over there), looking into our eyes, building blocks in the same color and stacking them up in the same sizes.
Secretly I'm worried... Really, really worried. My brother is mentally disabled, my dad is 'slow' (ugh, I hate saying that!) and I'm scared he's inherited it too... That was my biggest concern having a boy, that he'd inherit that gene and that I am gonna have to do everything that I did when my brother was young. I'm having anxiety attacks over these thoughts that I don't eat for days (not great when I'm supposed to be expressing for Katherine)
Anyways, he's been sitting on here for almost 20 minutes so I best get him off cause I said I'd only do it for 10 minutes. I think I'm going to stop doing this until we're BOTH ready to do it. Right now, I just don't feel ready in myself to do it.
No need to reply - I needed to get this out - I just wish I knew what to do
The best thing to do is to see your GP. Early intervention can make a huge difference to a child's outcomes. It really hurts when you see a Dr and they agree with you but then they can hook you up with people who will be able to help you and your gorgeous little man.
Big hugs to you DD. The only advice I can give is that as a mother of a child with "issues", follow your gut and seek help. If your concerns get downplayed by your GP, get a referral to a paed or go to another GP. If there ends up being nothing to worry about, fantastic and no harm done. If there is something that needs to be addressed, the sooner the better. Good luck.
My CHN put us on the waitlist for an OT and speech therapist back in Nov and was told it'd a waitlist of bout 6-16 months
Thanks Lulu - I'll be seeing my GP in 2 weeks for DDs 2 month needles so i'll ask him for a referral then
And things like this make me worry bout DD too.
Right now?
* She's drinking and drinking and drinking... then crying and crying and crying.
* Never falls asleep on her back anymore, just wants to sleep on her side or stomach (we put her on her stomach when we're awake and can see her/grab her all the time) which causes us to have so many sleepless nights (or broken nights)
* She never seems 'happy' - the only time she's not crying is in her sleep but even then theres some times when she crys - I'm finding myself saying under my breath 'For eff sake, be quiet!'
I dunno what I'm doing wrong with either of them
Last edited by ElleJay; February 28th, 2012 at 09:30 PM.
Yeah, I'd look into EI. Do you know what the problem is with your brother & dad? Is it inherited? My BIL is 'slow'. He contracted meningitis & the brain swelling/fluid caused the damage. I worried about it & so did DH. It was only about 4 years ago we found out the full story.
IL's also lost a baby who was severely disabled at 3 weeks old. I'm pretty sure he was Trisome 13, but now 100%... But all our children & IL's other kids are fine.
Remember that all babies to develop at their own rate. no point stressing about a probkem that may not even be there. Mine didn't 'click' to toilet training til they were older than average. DD2 still wets the bed at nearly 7 & was delayed in speech. Other than her ADD & a bit of SPD, she's perfect
You're not doing anything wrong. For their ages they both sound like they are doing things that are completely normal. There may be something not quite right (listen to your instinct), but there is no such thing as normal
Last edited by ~clover~; February 28th, 2012 at 09:32 PM.
Clover, I'll answer (by editting this) in just a minute. I'm moving from the laptop to Tapatalk on my phone because I've got DD on my lap crying (surprise surprise)
Ok back with DD snuggled on my chest (but still crying)
My brother - DH and I think - he has undiagnosed Autism - but he was diagnosed with behavioral problems and learning difficulties. He's 25 and has the mental age of a 6 year old.
My dad? Honestly I have no idea. All I know is his doctor many years ago, called him 'slow' and... *shudders* retarded (I shudder cause I HATE that word with a passion) - all because of being dropped by one of his brothers (he has 3 older brothers) a couple times.
Last edited by ElleJay; February 28th, 2012 at 09:46 PM.
I wish I was closer so you could meet Aiden. He's almost 4 and has about 20 words. He has started speech and OT, goes to daycare and an early intervention intensive school two half days a week. These are wonderful things he has gotten into and it takes time to see big results but he's making small gains. A is still in nappies, obsesses over simple things (like cans, toys, blocks), is very violent due to frustration with being non verbal, has oodles of sensory issues and is just generally a difficult kid day to day. Aiden doesn't enjoy being read to (he screams), he doesn't pick his clothes (his sisters do), he doesn't repeat things or know body parts and frequently runs away. My house is like fort knox 24/7.
He has only recently started pretend play and that is because his speech therapist tries it with him. It started with DH and I spending 10 minutes passing a plastic cup back and forth pretending to drink and smacking our lips. The first time he did it once and then wandered off and now 6 months on he will do it himself. Now he will find lions or dinosaurs and make them roar and make car noises but that's it for now.
That's describing William down to a tee Rhyb.
He LOVES his blocks, lines them all up by colour and build by colour. Doesn't answer his name when called, runs around the house, obsessively plays with my hair, but he's generally a happy child.
DH hates that he doesn't say 'dad' and when I say 'dad' all he does he laugh - he hates it so much that he says to me (DH that is) 'Don't bother, he's never gonna say dad'
Breaks my heart but drives me mental at the same time.
And it doesn't help when DH keeps saying 'Well, all my hopes lie on Kat now' makes me so sad for DS
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning or sleeping
Last edited by ElleJay; February 28th, 2012 at 10:03 PM.
I know how you feel about those words. My BIL is an amazing person, but so many people don't care to see it, or they use it to their advantage
Do you still wrap Kat firmly? If you're worried about sensory issues, maybe she's like Bri. Bri is a seeker. She prefers tight clothes, tight shoe laces, tight hair etc & stresses to the point of howling if they aren't tight enough ()
Bri is a big movement seeker as well. Maybe Kat likes to move & a swing would help? (just going off the things I've read from you on fb). Bri was the hardest of my babies. Screamed for hours on end. She really wore me down. By the time she slept I was the one crying
Talk to your health nurse or gp. They'll help you with OT/paed etc.
Clover - yep, she still gets wrapped firmly and that's the only way she sleeps on her back. But, she's such a restless sleeper that she kicks herself out of the wrap in no time and then is awake again. Total opposite to William, who hates being held tightly, hates anything on his head or feet (but is getting better with wearing shoes)
I'm laying down in bed, and she's wrapped really tightly on her tummy on my chest under the blanket, so I'm hopefully gonna get up and wrap her before she wakes up.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning or sleeping
Honestly A only now says dad. As in the last 2 months. He gets confused easily and will call DH mum when that happens but DH just calmly says dad to help him. He calls everyone mum and they just say their name to teach him. A hates shoes and will only wear fake crocs (he can help with them, still gets the wrong feet adn if it doesn't work straight away he gets mad). Aiden obsesses with rubbing his hands over my face and arms and kissing my face. He has gone so far as to kiss drs, teachers and shop assisstants on the hand when happy. He has started licking my skin too (I joke it's ike guinea pigs and salt licks) and he rolls in dirt and has daily dust baths (I tell people he's part quail when they stare). Aiden is very, very high energy with little understanding of emotions and can only react to them in cartoons (sounds nuts but in sad moments in movies he fakes crying and cuddles me, scary bits he cings to me and pretends to tremble, and happy bits make him clap and dance). It's like tv is in technicolour and real life is black and white (happy or angry). There seems to be no inbetween.
Yeah, William constantly covers his ears when it comes to things he doesn't like in movies. He runs away from the tv. And when something comes up that's funny, he'll laugh.
William has only just (in the past two or months) reciprocated when I've said 'kiss?' be it open mouth kiss or little peck kiss.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning or sleeping
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I seriously, seriously recommend you read "Gut and Psychology Syndrome"- it will help you see why your children have the behaviours they have AND you'll find it can be fixed!! Which is extremely awesome
I'm wondering why you say you are being forced to toilet train your son? 2ys 4mths is at the young end for ANY boy to toilet train so I'd be dropping it for now seeing he doesn't seem ready.
Hun, you sound like you are under alot of pressure at the moment. Who is forcing you to toilet train? As an Early Childhood teacher I can remember learning at uni that kids have to have "maturation" to TT which means their brain and bladder are sending the correct symbols, until this point kids can be taken to the toilet 1000 times and sometimes may do something but they wont be TT until they are ready.
I am a big believer in early intervention. Don't know if you remember but my DD had physio for a year for low muscle tone and was slower to crawl, walk etc.I hated the fact that she wasn't able to physically do what other kids were doing, but going to the physio with her and doing all the exercises gave me something to focus on.
I have taught many kids in kinder whose parents have told me their child had a language delay or this or that but had early intervention and now at school age have caught up, its the ones that don't get in early that have trouble later on, as is harder to catch up.
I really recommend seeing your GP to get a referral to a good paediatrician who can steer you in the right direction, do testing, reassure and support you and the kids. Alot of paeds do bulk bill, so not always expensive.
And last of all, kids do develop at different rates. DD has only started talking lots in the last 3 months. xxx
Oh hun Personally I would also drop the TT. it doesn't sound like he is ready, I know neither of my girls were at that age. Does he nod and shake his head for yes and no? If so, can you look in to baby signing to help him communicate if he doesn't have the words?
I agree with the above posts - trust your gut instinct and get him looked at, persist if you need to until you feel comfortable with the answers. Look st the GAPS diet and give it a go - it can't hurt.
As for Kat, it sounds like reflux to me. If she is lying down and it is painful for her it is likely that the reflux is coming up. I would also get her looked at for this and also look at how you can help her by propping up her mattress, the foods you eat etc.
I was gong to say reflux for Kat as well. My DD (also Katherine!!) has silent reflux until about 8 months. She would cry constantly and feed ALL the time. It's a catch 22 thing, they want the milk cause they have reflux (heartburn) but it makes it worse in the long run. She also didn't like lying down and would do better on her tummy. Maybe get a GP to check her out. If it is reflux, there's a lot that you can do.
Hugs honey, this sounds like a hard time for you. xx
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Secretly worried
The best thing to do is to see your GP. Early intervention can make a huge difference to a child's outcomes. It really hurts when you see a Dr and they agree with you but then they can hook you up with people who will be able to help you and your gorgeous little man.
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