Boys in girls' changerooms - how old is "too old"?

[AndiE]

Just interested in thoughts as it was only something that occured to me for the first time yesterday.

DS1 and DS2 swim Saturday mornings at the same time, afterwards I take DS1 (4y3m) into the women's changerooms and DH takes DS2 into the men's to get them showered and dressed (obviously it's convenient for us to sort out one boy each). I don't think too much about DS1's nudity when I'm showering and changing him. Mostly there are other mums and young children - girls and boys - in there too getting dressed.

Yesterday a mum was dressing her two daughters next to us. The girls would have been aged approx 2 and 3-4. DS1 and I just went about our business and I had my back to the lady and girls for the most part. When I turned around the woman was dressing her older daughter from behind a towel, which appeared to be shielding her. Anyhoo, this post isn't a comment about that - I know some girls/boys are uncomfortable with others seeing them naked, and mum might have kept the towel around her to keep her warm, for all I know.

But the thought popped in to my head ... at what age should little boys/girls stop going in to the opposite sex's changerooms to get dressed? What if the mum next to me didn't appreciate her girls seeing my son naked? Maybe she didn't want DS1 seeing her girls naked? Like I said ... there was no indication of this. It was just something I pondered afterwards.

Nudity is not an issue in our house - my boys like getting starkers when it's shower/bath time, and they have no hang ups about it (and I hope it kinda stays that way). I'm ok at the moment for them to see me in the shower, though I did say to DH after I asked his opinion on this that at some point I would most likely appreciate a bit of privacy etc when I'm in the shower. But at the moment I still think DS1 is young enough that there's no issue.

So I'm interested in people's thoughts - I don't imagine it's a "one size fits all" thing, and that what suits one might not suit others. At the moment I'm planning to go with the flow for a bit longer ... gosh, he's only 4. I imagine by the time hormones kick in he'll be well and truly dressing himself and won't want mum anywhere near him when he's nekked !

[nothing2lose]

I seem to remember some change rooms state boys must be under 5.

Not sure if that helps????

[Astrid]

Our local pool says under school age. There are also family change rooms, which when available, seem to be the easiest way for a family to get changed. Well that is what we have found, too hard at times trying to wrangle 2 girls by myself.

Does your pool have a family room?

[Olive]

Our pool states those over 6 can't go into opposite sex change rooms

[Tanya]

Our pool states those over 6 can't go into opposite sex change rooms

Same.

[Heaven]

Oh I've never thought about it. There's no signs at our pool. What are you supposed to do when they're 6? I would feel weird about sending my 6 yr old boy off to the mens change room. But I don't have a 6 yr old yet, I can't imagine it.

[OceanPrincess]

Our pool states those over 6 can't go into opposite sex change rooms

Ours says 7. We have a family change room but it's always very popular on Sat mornings! We never get in there!

[Astrid]

Are the showers big enough to also change in? At our local there is one extra large shower cubicle in the womens change rooms. Certainly enough room to shower and change? Just option if you feel the need.

We are pretty open about nudity at home, but do feel in a public change room that people should be conscious that others are not. I am all for just getting it all done as quick as possible

[MummyNaomi]

Our pool is 6 or 7, I cant remember now, but there is only one combined disabled/family room

Frankly, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending a 6 yo in by himself. I think their should be three changerooms these days - Male / Female / And a communal Family one (that only families can use - eg men cant go in by themselves) - rather than one family clogging it up for 15 -20 mins

[Floweryfields]

Our pool states those over 6 can't go into opposite sex change rooms

Hmm, that's interesting. I wonder though, if you have a 6 year old and you, the mum, are the only one with them, is a 6 year old ment to go into the male change room alone? I wouldn't be at all comfortable with that.

[AndiE]

Our pool/swimming school doesn't have any signs indicating what ages can go into the opposite toilets/changerooms. Neither is there a family room, and the shower cubicles don't really offer much more room than the shower. The options are either to change them in the general pool area in front of everyone or change them in the changerooms.

Not sure I'd be comfortable with sending a six year old in to the men's changerooms on his own either, albeit as it's learn-to-swim, the changerooms are generally only filled with dads and kids (ditto, the women's is pretty much just mums and kids). Members of the general public use separate facilities outside the learn-to-swim building.

Yeah, this is a tough one. You want to be able to keep an eye on your child and assist them to get dry/changed etc ... but you don't want to cause anyone to be uncomfortable etc.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

My stepmum has this issue as my brothers are 9 & 11 - she wont let them use the mens changerooms alone, they are not allowed in the womens change rooms and majority of the time there is a wait for the family room.

If we go swimming with them we normally cram myself, my stepmum, my 2 girls and my 2 brothers into the family room - there is no issue with nudity but my lil brothers don't like seeing me naked so they turn around while i get changed and we minimise the time naked.
At our local the girls and i are generally the only people using the disabled / family room as it's easier and mroe space for me to deal with 2 girls and i can stand around naked while i get them sorted and THEN get dressed.. i wouldn't mind kids say 6 or under being in while my girls get dressed but curiosity starts kicking in about then and my girls don't like being stared at.

[RhiChiChi]

Our pool states those over 6 can't go into opposite sex change rooms

Same with ours.

The showers are communal though and there are three family change rooms

[wysiwyg]

Ours simply suggests that over 6 year old use the appropriate change rooms, I don't have a seven year old yet but I am hoping that by that age I would feel they are able to dress themselves ok after swimming - if the child didn't feel comfortable then would use the family change rooms but if the child is happy to get themselves changed then I would be happy (boy or girl going into change rooms on their own - e.g. girl in womens if taken swimming by DH). My biggest worry would be the child taking forever by themselves.

[Floweryfields]

Not all pools have family changerooms though. Ours has just male and female with showers and toilets in the same building.

[feeb]

Pool we used to go to lessons at said age 6 or under in opposite sex change rooms, there was 3 family / disabled change rooms that were redicilous to try and get. I do not see myself being comfortable sending boys at age 6 into male change room alone if DH not with us.

[lilima]

If I sent my 6 yo into the change room alOne, he would take hours to dress himself. And six is too young to be out of my sight in public.

[~clover~]

Interesting thought. Change rooms aren't a concern for me, but public toilets might become something I'll need to think about soon.

DS is 4. If I wasn't allowed to change him due to age in the change rooms, I'd go do it at/in the car I guess. I wouldn't feel comfortable sending him on his own. I still usually go with DD1 (10) into public toilets (not the cubicle).

When do I stop bringing DS into the toilets with me? He's not going to see anyone naked or anything, but I'm assuming a 6/7 year old boy shouldn't really be in there?? My kids will all be a bit old for parents rooms soon too

For me sending my boy off on his own, I'm not worried about him dressing/changing himself... I'm worried about his safety in a public place! Same reason I usually wait outside the cubicle when my older DD's are in public toilets. I always walk them to the toilets in shopping centres etc.