Feeling enough...

[Frangipani Lou]

Do you ever wonder of you're 'enough' for your child/ children?
It's something I've been wondering about a lot lately. Wondering if I'm stimulating DD's development enough.
I worry that I'm not doing enough to support her early development. DD is now 8months old.
She doesn't get a lot of play time on the floor because it takes so long to feed solids, bf and top up with formula and she likes her sleep. Part if me knows she doing really well,(she's happy, settled, smiley, affectionate, curious) but I struggle to silence the doubts. It also makes it harder because of my education and work experience.
Have you ever wondered about this stuff?
TIA

[BellyBelly]

The biggest fear humans have around the world is that they are not enough (and - not always - usually because if you're not enough you wont be loved). So you're in very good company. Kids might not remember what you did or didnt do for them when they grow up. But they will remember if they felt loved - which I am very sure they do

[Jaycee]

I can definitely relate to this. It gets worse when they go to school and you're constantly doubting whether you're spending enough time and reinforcing what they've learnt at school without trying to overload them, it's really hard!

[Frangipani Lou]

Lovely wise words Kelly and thanks for the heads up Jaycee!

[OceanPrincess]

I constantly feel like I'm not enough for my kids. My niece is writing her name, other words. My DD is attempting letters. Niece is 8 months older than DD. Every time I see my DD write a letter I think I should spend more time with her helping her to learn her letters... But I don't. And it bugs me.

[Duchess]

Don't forget you can also do too much and make it hard for them in the future.
So somehow we are to raise independent loving children that are happy to socialise and be team players but also be able to work and excel alone.
They need to be creative and fun loving but also conform to a classroom/office environment for the first half of thier life. They are to be different but not distract anyone else!!!

I'm having troubles with miss 6 at the moment, we are investigating attention issues which affect her at school however she is still keeping up and improving at school, she distracts herself no one else but is not suited for classroom.
Homeschooling is not an option right low as I know with new bub coming I wouldn't be enough.
Miss 2 has speech and understanding delays that affects our everyday activites and is stressful and again "am I helping her enough to catch up?"

It's never ending.. Then am I a good enough wife?? Am I a good role model to my girls, future wives?

I am trying so hard but can I do more??


Enjoy your 8 month old, if you enjoy all the daily important tasks and talk to her all the time about what you are doing you will shock yourself how much you are teaching her.

[chody47]

I worry about this all the time, especially now I have two kiddies. I didn't worry too much with DD1, as she had all my attention. I must have done something right (or its just her personality) as she's a smart little thing. Now that I have two and she's getting older I worry that I'm not helping her develop more enough and worry that I'm not giving DD2 enough time to learn all the things DD1 already knows.

[myturn]

I never feel like I do or am enough, and I am not even a proper parent yet..... Sigh....

Dont feel enough for DH, don't feel enough for DSD, don't feel enough for my mum, don't feel enough for baby brother, don't feel enough at work...

But mostly... I don't feel enough for me.....

i blame my dad for it all....


....guess that's something else to work on with the psychologist.... Sigh....





Sorry, thats not the most supportive post.... My rational head says, we can't actually ever be enough, that's the perfectionist in us, and its not helpful... We can only do what we can do, and sometimes that means sacrificing being perfect.... It's okay, to just be ... Okay!!! Just to do an okay job, or get it nearly about right, or help your kids "a bit" - they will turn out just right, with a bit of love and as much time as you can fit in... It doesn't have to be everything....

Now to practice what I preach. x

[Santosha]

Yes. All the time. But have been reading a lot if articles on RIE which I'm finding to be a brilliant, respectful model of parenting. And the emphasis is very much on being present, available and accepting and allowing the development of skills and potential at the child's natural pace. Fostering independence and initiative and avoiding doing everything with or for your child. It's given me some space... permission, to be enough. Because I can be there with my kids. I can love them and believe in them and support them as they develop into their whole selves. I can set clear boundaries.... mostly! Amazing cook, crafter, imaginative playmate, educator, confidante, ethicist and mentor... not so sure I can be all those things. But I can maybe be enough if i can let go of that list and focus on their core needs for my mindfulness and love.

[BellyBelly]

When we believe our bad thoughts, noise etc we suffer. We've all had traumas, horrible things happen to us. I mean gees, look at Oprah... Raped as a child, abused, gave birth to a still born baby when she was just a teen... But she used her story to empower herself and others. If she got stuck in the blame game, she wouldnt be one of the most successful, influential, wealthy, powerful women in the world.

When you have hatred, anger or blame for others, its like drinking poison expecting that other person to die. It poisons you. What you tell yourself and what you believe, is everything.

You need to turn around those thoughts, because thoughts become feelings, feelings become beliefs. Start telling yourself with belief that you ARE enough!!!!! There are plenty of examples out there in the world of not enough. Food, money, water, health safety.... Love, is not a question you should worry about with your kids.