Looking for Support in Repeat c/s Decision

[jessica]

I have recently decided to have a repeat c/s instead of try for VBAC after much consideration & research into the options available.
I was wondering if there is anyone else who has come to this conclusion now or previously who would like to chat about reasons etc. I have found alot of support on this forum for those choosing to try for VBAC but not much for those going the other way.

hope to make contact soon.
Jess

[Sarah_090708]

Hi Jess,

At the moment i'm not in the same situation as you i have only juat had my first bub, but after having a c/s for him it has made me think about the next bub and how i will birth my next child, like you i am swaying more towards the repeat c/s, obviously it would be such a shame to not know what it is like to have a vb but just the thought of the scar rupturing scares the hell out of me . (I'm a big scardy cat)

But already i know what you mean by the some what lack of support, even from family and friends, when i have mentioned the possibility of having a c/s for the next one, most people have said to me just wait and see what happens, they wont even really discuss it with me. But even though i have only just had my first child, if i do decide to def have a c/s with the next one then there will be some organising i need to do to prepare my self (physically and emotionally) for what will be waiting ahead and also the recovery..etc (and i know this will take a while for me to be in the right frame of mind)

I would be interested to know what it is that has swayed you towards the repeat c/s.. I haven't researched the different options thoroughly but i have had a quick look at some of the pro's and con's...

- Sarah

[saslia]

I had an elective c/s with DS for a few reasons and have not for 1 minute regretted it. I do not feel less of a bond, less of a women, we had no trouble breastfeeding (he had his first feed within the first hour and is still going at 13 months). Recovery was easier than with DD.

It also made organinising DD and DSC and DH's work much easier, and visitors (we live 2 hrs away from my family).

I know what you mean about BB being very pro VBACS which is great if it is right for you but there is also support for you if it is not.

Best of luck!!!!

[MantaRay]

Jessica, I am sure you will find that everyone here will support you in your decision. It is your decision and we totally respect that. There are lots of discussions about VBAC, because it's usually those choosing to try for a VBAC who feel the lack of support. There is also a lot of misinformation about VBAC, and we want women to be able to make informed decisions. Believing that a c/s is safer than a VBAC in all situations is not making an informed decision because it's not true. But if you are making an informed decision (which you seem to be) and you are totally at peace with it, good for you. I wish you all the very best and I commend you for seeking information and owning your choices. And I wish you all the very best.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Good for you on deciding how you want to birth after thinking and researching and going for it! I can't think of anyone who would tell you off for that.

If I'd have had a section with DS and still had a uterus then I'd be having a repeat section because I couldn't cope with that again. But because I only just avoided it (and the hysterectomy at the same time) I'm not going to even think about a hospital, because I cannot cope with that again.

[Salsa]

Im in the process of working out whether to cs#2 or vbac.
Im going with the intention of vbac at this stage.

I think I can understand why with your next one you are feeling towards a cs#2.

My DS was elective and (I have never laboured ) and the experience was all good and fine for me. I thought for a number of years that I might just c.s next time round but now that im here Im not so sure. Theres lots of research and mental and physical prep I feel I need to do for a vbac and then theres still no guarantee I wont have another c.s anyway.
That stresses me out and upsets me - not because I miss out on a vaginal birth, but because its hard work preparing for having a baby, and even harder when you have to chuck a previous c.s (with no labour experience ) into it.
I have friends who have birthed vaginally with some absolute horror stories, but I still want to see if I can deliver vaginally.
I have family members who have opted for cs#2 and 3 & 4 & even 5!!!. It went good for all of them.

Augh, its tough isnt it? Trying to figure it all out and do what you believe is best and dealing with fear. Well thats how I feel anyhow.

I know there are other woman on this site who have choosen to have a repeat c.s, so dont worry, Im sure you`ll find support here if thats what you choose to do. Even if its not to everyones liking, they are not you and you need to choose whats right for you at this stage in your life.
Ultimatly we should be supporting each other in childbearing whatever the way its done.

[SamanthaP]

It sounds like you have made a decision to have a repeat C/S, which is great and I'm sure you'll be able to plan an experience that suits your needs. By all means, own your decision and be happy with the path that you have chosen, but don't do other women a disservice by promoting fallacies and fear-mongering about VBAC. The balance of evidence is in VBAC's favour. I wish you well.

[Tweetsta]

I had an emergency c/s with my first child and was devastated that i couldnt have him natually and i had post natal depression for a few weeks after his birth but i got over it and all was good. Then i was undecided all the way up to my due date with my second. I couldnt get my head around trying for a vbac or just going for another c/s. I didnt want to go through all that again. Plus i couldnt bear the thought of not being able to pick my boy up if i had another c/s as he would only be 23 months and wouldnt understand that i couldnt pick him up. I ended up trying vbac but again failed to progress and i was happy to go for another c/s this time round. I never got post natal depression this time but it broke my heart everytime my boy fell over and hurt himself and i couldnt pick him up as he is a mummas boy..lol.. But i think as i want one more child i will just go for an elective c/s as i know once everything was done i had all the support i could ask for.

[Hannahbanana]

My DD was a CS due to breech. With my DS I chose to go the Elective CS route after lots of indecision the whole way through my pregnancy, and I never had the burning desire to give birth vaginally.
I had pretty much decided by the 34 week mark that I would have a CS and was booked in at 39 + 5 weeks. I did however say to my ob that if I went into labour before my CS date I would have a go at VBAC.
Two weeks before my CS date we had a tradgety in the family and it made my decision all the more easier to go with the CS.
I knew what was going to happen, I could plan for my daughter as our family was 4 hours away, and as far as I was concerned, there would be no suprises and no undue stress.
As it turned out the cord was wrapped around DS neck twice so he probably would have went into distress anyway.
I have never regretted my decision regarding either of my CS, because at that time they were the right decisions for me and my family. I had very positive experiences for both CS, but having said that I will be planning a VBA2C for my next baby because I know if I don't try at least once to labour and have a vaginal birth, I will wonder later on in life. I still don't have the burning desire that some women do but I would like the experience so that later on I can draw back on it and give advice to my DD when the time comes. But that's just me and my personal choice.

You do whats right for you and your family. As I have said, I have never regretted choosing a repeat CS.

[feeb]

I have just had 1st baby via emerg cs due to induction for pre eclampsia and then baby was posterior and head was deflexed and i obstructed at 9cm baby had a 38cm head also and i have allready said next time willl have elcetive cs. Some friends have not been supportive and being a midwife i am all for vbac depending on mums wishes and why they had 1st cs but in my case i gave it a 14 hr go and do not want to go there again and still have chance of the same happening again.

good luck and people r always here to support you

[jessica]

Thank you to everyone who has commented on my post, i am overwhelmed that so many of you are supportive. Yes it has been a long road to come to this decision but the main reasons i have are as follows;
* I had a traumatic time with my first pregnancy & birth
* I like to know what is going to happen & when
* I have experienced c/s so know exactly what to expect
* I recovered very well after the initial pain wore off (it was terrible at the time)
* I don't want to have a difficult labour & risk tearing etc
* I don't want to end up with an emergency c/s
* I don't want to go through labour with continuous monitoring (which my ob would organise)
* I trust my ob (much to the dismay of others on some threads) & his experience
* I don't want to risk a uterine scar rupture (even if the risk is low it does happen)
* I am scared about medical interventions such as vacuum suction
* Last but not least, I prefer a planned c/s for the birth of my baby because I am more comfortable with that & I don't care what others think!!!

To MantaRay, I don't remember saying that i think c/s is safer in all circumstances than VBAC, did I?
I am only talking about my decision & that it is the best for ME. I am not commenting on the safety of either way for other women, just what I have decided based on advice from my ob, husband & family.

[jessica]

don't do other women a disservice by promoting fallacies and fear-mongering about VBAC. The balance of evidence is in VBAC's favour. I wish you well.

Samantha, I have started this thread to get support for my decision. Please don't take that away from me by being negative. I'm not talking about evidence for or against anything, just what i have decided.

[Schmickers]

The decision between a VBAC and a caesarean is a highly emotive one, and often leads to heated debates. Jessica asked for support in her decision to have a caesarean, and this is the Caesarean Section Support forum. Please ensure your posts in this thread are supportive.

And Jess - Mantaray was simply explaining why, as you put it, you have found lots of support for VBAC and less so for those choosing to have a caesarean. She wasn't being critical of your choice, and she wasn't suggesting that you thought that VBAC was better in all situations - she was speaking hypothetically. As you will recall, she posted:

But if you are making an informed decision (which you seem to be) and you are totally at peace with it, good for you. I wish you all the very best and I commend you for seeking information and owning your choices. And I wish you all the very best.

Lets all stay civil in this thread, shall we?

[SamanthaP]

I do wish you well, Jessica, I'm sure I said that in my post. Do you think you could go and edit out the misinformation and unsupportive commnets in the VBAC support threads perhaps?

[{sarah}]

This thread was started for support for a decision that has already been made. It is not necessary in this particular thread in the CAESAREAN SUPPORT section to discuss VBAC when the poster was asking for support for a decision already finalised. It is not necessary to tell the poster about the research as she has already stated she has researched before coming to her decision of a repeat c/s. Please keep it out of this thread or posts will be deleted. If anyone has an issue with this, please contact me via PM or email me at my username @bellybelly.com.au

[~Aveta~]

you just have to do what is best for YOU. if the end result is a healthy bub and a non-traumatised mum, then i believe that's a good result.

my story in brief: in 1988 i had twins, 6.5 pounds and 7.5 pounds, induced 10 days early under recommendation from my OB because my son was transverse breech. he had a c/s team standing by. after delivering my daughter he rushed me and i ended up with a c/s anyway. i reacted badly to the trauma, took years to debrief, and decided to have a fully supervised homebirth with my younger daughter, after careful consideration. i was 27 and robust, and i knew i could deliver a normal weight baby vaginally. that fact clinched my decision.

however, while i chose VBAC, i do believe that every mother knows her own body best, and i fully support your decision to go c/s again. what is best for you personally will be best for your baby.

[Gab]

Hi Jess,

I had an emergency caesar first time round due to foetal distress. When I became pregnant the second time round four years later I was encouraged by the obstetrician (public hospital) to have a repeat caesar as, among other reasons, my baby was looking like another big one (the first was 9 pounds 2 ounces).

Whilst a VBAC would have been an option if I'd been determined to go down that path, I chose a caesar for many of the same reasons as you've outlined - I didn't want to go through hours of labour only to end up in surgery again. Also, I had limited support available to look after my other child and it really helped to be able to plan for his care.

On the day, the experience for my partner and I was wonderful, if a little surreal - getting up in the morning and thinking "I'm going to have my baby today".

I do sometimes wonder how things might have been if I'd made a different decision, but both my boys are healthy and happy, and like others have said, that's all that matters in the end. For some reason people feel free to question our judgement as parents - but stick to your decision Jess and do what you feel is right for you and your family.

Good luck
Gab

[jessica]

HI Gab, Thank you for sharing your experience.
That's great to know that you had a wonderful birth & you don't regret your decision.
I really want to enjoy this birth as well, as much as possible because last time was so stressful. I had already been in hospital for a while before the c/s so, although it was planned I didn't know what I was in for IFKWIM.
Just wondering, was your baby as big as they predicted? And also, how close to 40 wks were you when you had the baby? I'm not sure yet when the ob wants to deliver.
I understand about it being more convenient as well, just knowing the day for the birth will be so much easier than waiting to go into labor (unless it happens earlier). Which is another question, did you think about what you would do if you went into labor early?
talk soon