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thread: She's only 15! :(

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    She's only 15! :(

    My SIL just confided in me that she's lost her virginity

    I'm kinda shattered, but proud she told me. It was a 'random hook up' as she put it.
    She's not 16 til June. I want her on the pill or depo or something JIC, but I'm not going to go behind her back & tell her mum & I'm not going to go behind her mum's back & organise it without her knowing. I just told her she should tell her mum she's thinking about it & that she'd like to get something JIC.

    A random hook up! Why does losing your virginity mean nothin these days?

    I told her I'm sad for her, she doesn't understand why. I just said that if she ever needs anything at all she knows where to come.

    My baby is growing up I've known her since she was 7. Its all happening too fast for me!

  2. #2
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    did she use protection mate? Some people just want to get rid of it (virginity) for some reason.

    Random hook ups scare me - what if he HURT her? YOu poor poor thing xoxoxoxo

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Follow Pandora On Twitter

    Jan 2005
    cowtown
    8,276

    She should be able to go to the doctors and organise it for herself, without you needing to be involved at all.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Country Victoria
    5,945

    Its very rare these days to find a girl that cares much about virginity.

    It was going to happen someday and she is 18 in 2.5 years.


    I hope she used protection and doesnt regret it later. I know i did and i was 14.

  5. #5
    Registered User
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
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    Yeah she used protection. She did promise me that. I just reminded her that accidents do happen no matter how careful you are.
    & yes I am terrified of her getting hurt. It scares me like you wouldn't believe.

    She does tell her mum everything, but things have been a bit tense lately (her age I guess), so I just wanted to make sure she did still tell her. She says she will.

    I just feel like I should be there to make sure she's safe. I know she's gonna party & crap as they do, but I'm 10 hours away. I'm scared something will happen & I won't be there.

    But then I guess she'll be fine without me. There are plenty of other teen girls out there surviving without me

    I've regretted it later & I was nearly 17 & it was with XH.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Country Victoria
    5,945

    its great that u care so much. Im sure she appreciates it

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Country Victoria
    5,945

    its great that u care so much. Im sure she appreciates it

  8. #8
    Registered User
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    She does I think. Thats why she told me first.
    Imagine what I'll be like when my girls are that age?

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Could be worse - there's girls out there that are 12 and willingly give it away. I think I was the only 15 year old in my group that still had their virginity when I was at school - and that was *cough cough* a fair few years ago...

    I'm glad she feels secure enough in her relationship with you that she can confide in you.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx

    Jan 2008
    hoppers crossing
    2,380

    thats great that a 15 yr old girl can confide in someone.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Aug 2007
    3,526

    She's lucky she has someone that she can talk to about it!
    i was 15 - look back now and wish i had of waited! and now that i have my own little girl there is NO WAY she will even look at a boy that way until she is at least 30!!! hahaha

  12. #12
    Registered User
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    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Lol, yeah I'm glad she trusts me that much. I'm alot closer to her than my own sister.
    Most of my friends were around 12 too.
    Just glad she's smart enough to be careful I guess. & hoping she wasn't lying about it.



  13. #13

    Apr 2007
    the Sauna
    1,995

    she is very lucky to have you ! your right about not going behind her mums back and keeping her at arms reach is the only way when dealing with teeangers .

    I wished i had waited and lost it to my hubby , or the hot older guy i used to date when i lived over seas!
    all my mates told my boyf at the time i wasnt a virgin , but i was so he banged away never knowing the truth! so my 1st love/relationship was all a lie but im sure as heck glad hes outta my life ..

    1 thing i was happy about was he wasnt a random hook up , as i was so scared of being pg or catching something !! i hope she learns

    my cousin was 14 and wanted to have sex to rebel ! she then wanted a baby at 15 and tried to get her boyf to agree !! she is now nearly 20 and a single mum and lets face it , puts party life before her beautiful baby boy

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Gippsland Vic
    1,686

    Great that she told you, I would say be careful trying to get her to tell her mum, maybe just the suggestion or she may not tell you anything in the future?? I watched a few programs lately and it seems that teens do just want to lose it these days, and oral sex is on the same level as kissing.the trouble is they feel like they can handle it and emotionally they are'nt ready. The other thing that worries me is that if they go on the pill will they have unprotected sex? and end up with an STD or worse still AIDS (at the end of the day a baby is not the worst thing that can happen to you)!!!! or even remember to take it when they have too? my DD is 16, a friend suggest we put her on the pill JIC. She can't even remember to take her iron tablet, so I am sure if she took the pill a few hours late or even the next day she would'nt think it an issue and would consider herself protected!!!

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Victoria
    1,028

    My dd is 12 and came home fro school the other day and told me some of the girls were giving oral sex to the boys, OMG i nearly died, its just ridiculous how grown up these girls think they are these days. I find myself also lucky Skye as my dd tells me everything and lets me read her text messages etc, her friends also talk to me about certain things, but i am also aware they are only 12/13, i just hope we retain the same relationship when she has a serious boyfriend and not one that she just texts.

    You should be proud she tells you stuff, but ikwym about being worried for her.

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2007
    Perth
    2,088

    I know its young at 15, but I'm not at all surpised. My younger sisters have recently been through high school & some of the stories they have told me, its shocking. Girls are growing up wayyy to quickly these days, and its very sad that they dont realise its special to keep your virginity for the right person. I dont mean keep your legs crossed until you are 25 & married I'm not that prude, but how about not throwing it away on the first guy who comes along just because. I think its also a peer pressue/cool thing as well, everyone else is doing it so I should be too sort of thing. I'm scared for my DD!

    Abb34 - Ohhh no I didnt even know what oral sex was at 12!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx

    Mar 2008
    Perth, WA
    1,225

    It was nice that she is obviously mature enough to have control over the situation and 'lose' her virginity in a mature and mindful way....and not drunk like some teens who I went to school with!

    Was her sexual partner under 16 also? Not that I mind....I only ask becuase if he was 16 or over and she or he tells anyone who lets it slip, he can get done for child abuse and it obivously wasn't an abusive experience for her!

    It's great that she can confide in you.

    If she wants to go for the pill or etc as far as I understand she can go on without her parent's permission if she goes to the appointment to the GP by herself, at her own free will and all that. I remember my best mate in high school begging me to go with her to the GP for her first pap smear and to go on the pill because her mum didn't know and it was a littlw awkward. Wouldn't want it to come to that for your girl :-)

    She will probably understand later in her life why you feel sad. Although I didn't 'lose' my virginity until 17 (which is considered 'late'), I remember the pressure in earlier high school was intense and at the time, it seems so important to 'lose' it.

    Good that she was smart about it and using protection.

    You said you hope she isn't lying....does she have any reason to?

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    Rural NSW
    294

    I was 18 and it was with a new friend. I was one of those girls who just wanted to be rid of it. I regret it, but at the same time, I had depression and sex was my way of not being lonely.

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