She's only 15! :(

[blackduckies]

Great that she told you, I would say be careful trying to get her to tell her mum, maybe just the suggestion or she may not tell you anything in the future?? I watched a few programs lately and it seems that teens do just want to lose it these days, and oral sex is on the same level as kissing.the trouble is they feel like they can handle it and emotionally they are'nt ready. The other thing that worries me is that if they go on the pill will they have unprotected sex? and end up with an STD or worse still AIDS (at the end of the day a baby is not the worst thing that can happen to you)!!!! or even remember to take it when they have too? my DD is 16, a friend suggest we put her on the pill JIC. She can't even remember to take her iron tablet, so I am sure if she took the pill a few hours late or even the next day she would'nt think it an issue and would consider herself protected!!!

[Madham]

My dd is 12 and came home fro school the other day and told me some of the girls were giving oral sex to the boys, OMG i nearly died, its just ridiculous how grown up these girls think they are these days. I find myself also lucky Skye as my dd tells me everything and lets me read her text messages etc, her friends also talk to me about certain things, but i am also aware they are only 12/13, i just hope we retain the same relationship when she has a serious boyfriend and not one that she just texts.

You should be proud she tells you stuff, but ikwym about being worried for her.

[Isadora]

I know its young at 15, but I'm not at all surpised. My younger sisters have recently been through high school & some of the stories they have told me, its shocking. Girls are growing up wayyy to quickly these days, and its very sad that they dont realise its special to keep your virginity for the right person. I dont mean keep your legs crossed until you are 25 & married I'm not that prude, but how about not throwing it away on the first guy who comes along just because. I think its also a peer pressue/cool thing as well, everyone else is doing it so I should be too sort of thing. I'm scared for my DD!

Abb34 - Ohhh no I didnt even know what oral sex was at 12!

[echidna]

I was 18 and it was with a new friend. I was one of those girls who just wanted to be rid of it. I regret it, but at the same time, I had depression and sex was my way of not being lonely.

[KimB]

OMG my DD1 is turning 14 and this is my biggest nightmare. We have a great open relationship but I still want her to wait. She is more open minded than some kids I find today (she had gay and bi friends) but I don't want her to be so open minded.

I was 16 and did it with a long time friend who was 20 and had some experience (truth be told he was a hornbag lol) and he knew it was my 1st time. We are still friends today. I hope she chooses someone who will respect her.

[fionas]

That's fantastic that she told you.

Girls at my school were starting to have sex at 12 (and this was over 20 years ago) and I'd say a lot would have lost their virginity by 16. I waited till I was 19 but don't think I made a great choice of a first-time partner even at that comparatively late/mature age. The girl in our group who lost her virginity the earliest was with the guy for years. I'm not saying that underage sex is a good idea, just that being older doesn't necessarily mean you will make better decisions or have no regrets.

I think when you have fairly meaningless sex with someone you don't really care about, then you do wonder what the big deal is about sex. It's only when you do love someone that you do appreciate the difference.

[Isadora]

Hoobley, I'm so sorry to hear what you had to go through as a child! I can understand exactly what you mean about being happy your DD lost her virginity willingly.

[Kailani]

I think it's great that she has confided in you! 15 may seem young but it doesn't suprise me at all. I went to a girls school and there was so much pressure to lose your virginity and "pick up" at parties every weekend
However I was terrified of losing it! My first time was with my DP when I was 17 and we had been together in a serious relationship for about 3 months (we had "liked" each other for much longer ) and I'm so happy I waited! I have to admit, I was very anxious and worried he would be getting impatient with me

Anyway! If I have girls, I would hope that they find me approachable enough to discuss these things with and confide in me like your SIL has. I would be very proud too

[~clover~]

Thanks guys
I'm feeling heaps better about it. Just was hoping it was a boyfriend rather than a hook up, but anyway. As I told her, I still love her, she's just my baby, thats all.
I'll survive....& so wil she, lol!

[prama]

oh skye - so glad she confided in you.. 15 is young, and yes girls and boys are getting younger and younger when they have sex.
like the little boy in uk who's a father at 13 cos he had sex at 12!
media has a part in it i think.. imo it makes casual sex fun and easy and you dont have to be commited. if you watch the old movies, the man adjusted the tie and that meant they had had sex!! lol. and the actors were all in their 30s and 40s, like Gregory Peck, Rock Hudson, Marilyn Monroe, etc.

I just hope my little Poopy grows up respecting girls and treating them special and not wanting to do it with just any one. I hope he waits too. not just girls, but i think boys should wait too.
i dont want him to be sleeping w a million girls, and worse getting someone pg..
We'll teach him right and wrong, and hope he learns and respects what we teach him.
I'd be devastated if i knew my little darling was treating girls like objects.

[helle]

I think it's great that she has confided in you! 15 may seem young but it doesn't suprise me at all. I went to a girls school and there was so much pressure to lose your virginity and "pick up" at parties every weekend
However I was terrified of losing it! My first time was with my DP when I was 17 and we had been together in a serious relationship for about 3 months (we had "liked" each other for much longer ) and I'm so happy I waited! I have to admit, I was very anxious and worried he would be getting impatient with me

Anyway! If I have girls, I would hope that they find me approachable enough to discuss these things with and confide in me like your SIL has. I would be very proud too

Gawd I made DF wait almost 12 months before we DTD ><;; I was 17 and he had just turned 18 and we both lost it to each other. Poor boy!
I must admit alot of my friends now asked me if I feel like I've missed out being with one person and if I ever wish I'd "played the field" a little more and I honestly feel that I haven't missed out on a thing.

It's great she can confide in you, I think. Gosh I do feel like I'm starting to get a little old reading all this! I can't even think back to what I knew when I was 12 but I'm pretty sure boys had cooty's still XD

[Madham]

Abb34 - Ohhh no I didnt even know what oral sex was at 12!

me either its very scary what they know now. At 12 i thought boys bits were gross.lol

[angelaartsstudent]

me either its very scary what they know now. At 12 i thought boys bits were gross.lol

I work at a boy's school and can safely say that they are in no way mentally mature enough for sex at 12! Still definatley boys.

[Isadora]

Echidna.

When you are a teenager you make SO many mistakes, and no matter what your parents tell you, you dont listen! I guess this is just how we learn about the world, cant wrap our kids in cotton wool, just educate them, be there for them, be approachable & in the end hope for the best.

If I could take back many of the mistakes I made as a teenager....lol

[paradise lost]

It's so great that she could confide in you hun! You should be so proud of the relationship you have together, it's something so many teenagers lack.

As someone who was repeatedly raped and abused from the age of 5 i will be DELIGHTED if my DD loses her virginity at 15, willingly, in a situation she feels she wants to be in. Regrets are how we learn, and i certainly have my regrets about some of the situations i was in as a teen! But there is a huge difference between a daft mistake sensibly executed (she was sober and used protection!) and being the victim of a sexual crime.

Anyway, qudos to you hun, it's so great she WANTED to and COULD confide!

Bx

[angelaartsstudent]

It was nice that she is obviously mature enough to have control over the situation and 'lose' her virginity in a mature and mindful way....and not drunk like some teens who I went to school with!

Was her sexual partner under 16 also? Not that I mind....I only ask becuase if he was 16 or over and she or he tells anyone who lets it slip, he can get done for child abuse and it obivously wasn't an abusive experience for her!

It's great that she can confide in you.

If she wants to go for the pill or etc as far as I understand she can go on without her parent's permission if she goes to the appointment to the GP by herself, at her own free will and all that. I remember my best mate in high school begging me to go with her to the GP for her first pap smear and to go on the pill because her mum didn't know and it was a littlw awkward. Wouldn't want it to come to that for your girl :-)

She will probably understand later in her life why you feel sad. Although I didn't 'lose' my virginity until 17 (which is considered 'late'), I remember the pressure in earlier high school was intense and at the time, it seems so important to 'lose' it.

Good that she was smart about it and using protection.

You said you hope she isn't lying....does she have any reason to?