Regarding the colour system of Autumn, Winter, Spring, Summer try Googling it. It's an excellent system that will give you an indication of what colours suit you are what colours don't.
I am a winter, typified by my very dark hair and fair skin with a pink under tone as opposed to (not) a golden. If I wear autumn tones i look really washed out. My mother is a Autumn person and if she wears my winter range of colours SHE looks washed out.
However there are some people who are a blend of two seasons so don't expect it to be hard-and-fast. When it comes to make up and colour choice of clothing it's an art: follow rough guidelines but don't adhere to things in a strict sense because there will always be exceptions. It's people who can maybe bend the rules a little bit that often look the classiest.
Regarding the best eye shadow: it's very hard to say without seeing you but if in doubt keep it subtle. How dark is your hair?
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