Help me convince dh this is normal....

[Nai]

I get all but a landing strip waxed off & LOVE IT!!!!!

Can I ask those who don't shave/wax because if they weren't meant to have hair there they wouldn't - Do you shave your legs, armpits & eyebrows?????? I'm curious that's all.

I pluck a few strays in the eyebrow department and I do my bikini line and arm pits etc in summer when I'm in bathers but I tend to let it go more in winter. As a PP said it's not a sexual maturity thing and it's in the public (as opposed to pubic) domain so it does get noticed by many more people.

ETA. I tend to get ingrowns with bikini line more than anywhere else so I do leave it more often than not.

[peanutter]

Can I ask those who don't shave/wax because if they weren't meant to have hair there they wouldn't - Do you shave your legs, armpits & eyebrows?????? I'm curious that's all.

I think that's a really valid question.

Personally, I shave my legs every now and then (it's pretty rare, as I hardly ever wear shorts or dresses) my armpits once a week or fortnight (they don't grow much so that's all I need to keep them at bay - I don't like stubble there at the gym or at work!). That's about it. Mostly because I prefer the way it looks and feels - which I'm guessing is why you (and plenty of others) do your vajayjay.

With the point about whether we're "meant" to have hair in spots etc, I think the flavour coming through pretty strongly wasn't so much "it's natural, therefore it must all stay there" so much as "it's natural, others should understand it's normal and not take issue with it".

As a rough analogy, it would be the difference between someone's partner saying they wanted you to get streaks in your hair, because all and sundry around have streaks in their hair ... now sure, some people have natural highlights or lowlights etc, but most people wandering around with streaks in their hair have had it bleached and/or dyed. And while there's absolutely nothing wrong with someone going off and doing that, there's a big difference in someone's partner pressing them to do it, because they want it done ... they should be perfectly happy with their partner as they are.

And further - there's nothing wrong with someone thinking, "hey, my partner really likes it when I do xyz to my hair/nails/face/clothes/pubic mound ... I think I'll do that again, because I want to please him/her". That's really different from the partner saying, "hey, lady friend - all the adult entertainers I see are surgically and chemically modified, and by gum, they have bald beavers. Go get waxed, will you?*"

Big difference.

People can wax or shave or bleach or tie it up in a bow - or not - it's totally up to them. As long as they're doing it for themselves.



* = I'm sure that's not what the OP's DH said. I'm just emphasising my point.

[LimeSlice]

And further - there's nothing wrong with someone thinking, "hey, my partner really likes it when I do xyz to my hair/nails/face/clothes/pubic mound ... I think I'll do that again, because I want to please him/her". That's really different from the partner saying, "hey, lady friend - all the adult entertainers I see are surgically and chemically modified, and by gum, they have bald beavers. Go get waxed, will you?*"

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

There's also a difference between a preference for a 'clean working space', and forcing the issue. Professor has said in the past he'd prefer me to have just a landing strip, because it's easier to play then. I have a high aversion for hot wax on my lady garden though, so I've never successfully done it. He'd never push the issue, it's simply a preference, and as it's my garden, my preference wins out!

[Eenee]

I shave fully because I prefer it that way, but I do find it disrespectful when people say that children only have no hair so that its disgusting if adult women are shaven. It just adds more pressure on what women should be, so either way I should be embarrassed now it seems, its hard enough exposing my body in labour now i'll be thinking if people find that disgusting or not. There is a lot of difference between a child's vagina and an adult hairless vagina. So I think people should be respectful for whatever people choose I know I don't care if people have hair or not. I see a lot of differences being a nurse and I don't care either way, whatever makes them happy. I have friends that shave their legs and armpits and friends that don't, I respect both and don't judge them any differently.

[Beautiful Disaster]

I was considering it but clearly now it's the wrong thing to do... Hmmm nah screw it I will try anything once. Maybe it will make my sex drive come back if I look like a porn star

[Rouge]

Do what you like! And please don't feel judged! I don't think it's right to pass judgement. I don't think it's wrong at all. My sentiments are similar to PN. If you want to do it for you do. But not because you feel pressured. Your body your choice. If that means you want to dye it pink and shape it into a love heart it's totally your call. It's not wrong or gross. Normal is what you want. I do take issue with it being implied that is what is expected. That's all.

[Nai]

I shave fully because I prefer it that way, but I do find it disrespectful when people say that children only have no hair so that its disgusting if adult women are shaven. It just adds more pressure on what women should be, so either way I should be embarrassed now it seems, its hard enough exposing my body in labour now i'll be thinking if people find that disgusting or not. There is a lot of difference between a child's vagina and an adult hairless vagina. So I think people should be respectful for whatever people choose I know I don't care if people have hair or not. I see a lot of differences being a nurse and I don't care either way, whatever makes them happy. I have friends that shave their legs and armpits and friends that don't, I respect both and don't judge them any differently.

Do whatever you like, it's not like anyone else knows unless you tell them. It's an opinion or a preference. It's my opinion that I wouldn't like it if my partner found hairless attractive, but that's my opinion. I don't care if anyone else likes it or not. They aren't there looking at my nether regions. Only you can decide what you prefer. I wouldn't do something just because my partner was pressuring me to nor because I was worried about what other people think. It's not being disrespectful or judgemental to disagree or have an opinion. It's just that, an opinion.

[Nai]

Double post

[AnyDream]

Can I ask those who don't shave/wax because if they weren't meant to have hair there they wouldn't - Do you shave your legs, armpits & eyebrows?????? I'm curious that's all.

Well I prolly shouldn't answer because that wasn't my reason, but I do think there is a world of difference between shaving your legs & pits (low cost, minimal pain) and getting your genital surrounds waxed (high cost, high level of inconvenience & embarrassment, high or moderate degree of pain). For one thing, the silent pressure to have brazillians is insidious because no woman really knows to what degree this is the norm and/or socially expected, whereas most of us can visibly observe to what degree other women keep legs, pits, eyebrows, menostaches de-furred or not. Big, big difference.

[Eenee]

That was my opinion that I think it's disrespectful so if you have an opinion so do I

And just so you know the definition. Of judgement/judgemental is making an opinion etc. anyway no need to get defensive I was just having my say

[2CheekyMonkeys]

A friend swears by it, she reckons it feels better during adult activities. ;-) I'm not game though. I reckon its too expensive, painful and embarrassing! I would have thought it would be in the minority too.

[Nai]

I don't get defensive, just responding to something that seemed directed at something I said so just wanted to clarify it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but by having an opinion doesn't mean that I judge others who don't share the same opinion.

The original point was asking if having brazilians was the norm and what everyone does (as her dp believes). From the responses it doesn't seem to be the case and everyone has their own preference.

[~TT40~]

Moderator Message »
Please keep on topic

[Teeki]

With the pain thing, I don't know that a Brazilian has to be waxed. I've never waxed there as the thought makes me cringe! But DH and I were interested in how it would be so we shaved (yes, him too!). It doesn't hurt to do but it can be seriously itchy growing back and I think there might be more risk of ingrowns.

So if you want to see if it might be something you're interested in you don't necessarily need to go straight to waxing it all off.

[Butterfly Dawn]

When in labour with dd I was given a nasty dry shave with an old razor, so while that's still fresh in my memory, Im not letting anybody near my fufu for hair modification

[Amity]

I wax occasionally but in fairness, I'm not that hairy.

I also prefer my men clean shaven down there. The skin on skin during sex is mind blowing.

However, I have also spent years not doing anything to it, and only get waxed when I want to. Nothing to do with anything else

And having checked in the mirror, IMHO an adult vagina is extremely different to a child's vagina. If a man can't tell the difference then I would be worried.

However, I believe that everyone should have the choice on their own body. I would never dream of asking/requesting/demanding that my partner did anything down there.

To each their own - make your own choices about your body. As long as they are YOUR choices - go for it.

[Lenny]

I haven't worried about waxing or shaving down there for sometime. I do my bikini line and that's it. Dh is convinced this isn't normal. He is convinced that EVERYONE had a Brazilian. It seriously doesn't worry me. The only one it worries is him.
Tell me I'm not the only one who really isn't worried about it growing (but do the bikini line)

Just getting back to your original post BrightSparkles.
I think you started a really awesome thread!!!

I had the misconception that everyone was 'taking it all off' except me. DH also suggested it once or twice. I told him he could do his own and report back on the 'itchies' first. From the replies in this thread it looks like 'normal' covers pretty much everything! All off or all on or lots of pretty shapes in between!

You can now tell DH that normal doesn't exist when it comes to female pubic hair (or lady gardens, thanks PN).

Glad you aren't worried about it! And it sounds like ALL of us are happy with what we do and why we do it.

I am thinking I might give the 'all off' a try though...