Bearmum, I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Jackson's story, it was beautiflul and very touching. I know what you're saying about people who are trying to make you feel better with their comments, but that's just it. They are trying to comfort you the best way they can. When I lost my son at 21 weeks two years ago, I found that people tried really hard to make me feel better (although nothing they said could bring my son back), but I was more disappointed with those that said nothing. I felt that they didn't acknowledge Joshua's existance and that really hurt. Two years on, the pain of losing my little boy is as fresh as the day we lost him, and it's incredible how the waves of grief just crash on you when you least espect it. Big hugs hun, and feel free to talk about your grief here on belly. This place has helped me enormously with my own grief.
Dear Bearmum,
I just can't begin to imagine, your story really touched me & it also made me sad about the pain some parents & parents to be have to go through.
There is no rhyme or reason - it can't be that God has a better plan for your little one.....nothing can be better than the plans you had made for your life together....
You are a really brave woman & people like you sharing their stories give people like me perspective, strength & admiration for what some women have to go through.
Big hugs to you for peace & healing & for never forgetting little Jackson.....
May your future be a happy one.....
My Angel was born sleeping 3 weeks ago and it hurts to know that this has happened to another mother 4 weeks ago it shows it is happening way to often.
I agree with you totaly about the things people say to try and make you feel better i hope you can find some support here.
I can only say the same as everyone else and say i'm sorry for your loss and that you even have to be a part of this forum is not fair none of us should be here.
BearMum - congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son Jackson. I'm so sorry he died and your heart was broken like that. It's wonderful you were able to have the best birth you could in spite of his dying - it's a lovely way to honour your son and you as his mother. Hold close the memories and the love.
It's been nearly 13 weeks since my son died soon after birth (his story is in my sig). The grief will always be part of you and will change you in ways you can't predict. It gets easier to manage but it never goes away. You'll always be his mum and he will always be with you in your heart and soul. The love is overwhelming and it also never goes away.
I understand the platitudes don't help and can sometimes be upsetting. Try not to take it personally, people just don't know what to say. Some days you'll feel stronger than others and be able to handle then better.
I hope you're able to find support on BB and that you and your DH and family have lots of love and support IRL.
My DH and I just sat and read all your replies. We are deeply touched. Thankyou all so much for the hugs, kind words and prayers.
It's so important to us to share Jackson's story, the acknowledgement of his life, and the lessons he has taught us- and I'm sure I'll still be learning from him for the rest of my life. He may have been with us a short time, but he has been such a bright light.
We are waiting on final autopsy reports, and will be going before the 'peri natal loss panel', which all feels a bit scary. We haven't had the funeral yet- the hospital encouraged us to take our time. We also wanted to have all the autopsy business out of the way first. I couldn't have dealt with a funeral in these last few weeks- physically recovering from the birth has been difficlut, and with the added grief my body has just been in torment. We have the funeral all planned out now, and looming ahead of us.
I'm new to the whole forum thingo- so bare with me as I figure it all out!
Thankyou again for the warm welcome xx
Bearmum, planning your baby's funeral is so hard and we found it very difficult to get through, but it's so important.
As my midwife told us, we had to do all our parenting in such a short time - those hours we were able to hold our boy and then planning the funeral and saying goodbye. For us, everything we did was to honour our son's short life.
The other thing she told us, is for all the words of solace, really the whole thing is just f'd. It really is the worse thing you can go through.
One of the difficult things to handle we found is that so few people met our son. For Leo, most of the family and friends who attended his funeral never got to meet him. We had framed pictures of him at the front of the room and a little baby photo album where people walked in, so everyone could see he was real and how beautiful he was. I'm sure Jackson's funeral will be a loving tribute to him and the family who wanted him and love him so.
firstly may I just say Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy, Im very sorry he couldnt stay with you, my thought are with you and your husband xxx
Thank you for sharing your story & welcome to belly belly im sorry its not under better circumstance's.
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I couldn't read & not send you some hugs, love and compassion your way.
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