I just wanted to say thank you to all of you lovely ladies who replied. Your words gave me strength and hope and that is just what I needed. Everyday is hard but they are getting better, well I think I am getting better at dealing with the days passing. I have started to talk to people and bring up Bella in conversations, the reactions are varied but I feel better for being able to talk about her even if other people dont deal with it so well.

I have said to a friend that losing a baby is like having leprosy, most people dont know how to deal with it and want to avoid it. I've come to terms with this, it is their problem not mine and I do not hold it against them, though it makes me sad to acknowledge it.

I have found a few friends recently who can deal with it and are willing to listen. After posting here and receiving your replies a girlfriend happened to ask me how i was and I was brave enought to reply that I am not ok. i told her that I needed to talk about Bella and I needed her as my friend to listen, that i didnt expect her to say anything as nothing she could say could make losing Bella better, that I didnt expect her to do anything as nothing could be done to fix what had happened, but that I needed her to just listen to me talk about Bella and about how I was feeling. She was more then happy to do it and it made me feel so good to know that I could.

For those mums that have loved and lost their precious angels thank you for your words, they have helped more then I can say. For all you other ladies that just sent me love anyway, thank you too, it was much needed.

Returning hugs to you all
with love