I don't mind talking about it LMS or being asked what happened. I do have the issue in the back of my mind that we still don't have her autopsy results yet and family asked me what if it turns out we killed her (we were cosleeping). It's a very real possibility that haunts me. I'm terrified I unintentionally killed my own daughter. DH struggled with it for a long time and honestly blamed me (so much so that when we were told there was nothing they could do, which we knew, that he told me I killed her). Every time I check the mailbox I have this sick mix of dread and hope that her autopsy results will turn up. So I can just know and stop agonizing.