O.K so DD has a boyfriend. She has had boyfriends before, I told her not to bother before she was 15. Nothing serious, they tend to go out more in groups at that age. DD is a "young 15", and doesn't go to parties unsupervised, no boys in the bedroom etc etc.

So N, and DD have known each other since Gr2. I've known him as he used to come and play a few years ago. A funny little fella that always had his hoodie on, even inside, but well mannered etc.

They have continued to high school, left the friendship for awhile (as they do) and it has picked up again recently as they have friends in common too.
Anyway a few months ago, they are chatting on MSN she gets all upset. N's cousin has been hit and killed by a car the night before. They walked to the shops together, the cousin stepped onto the road for hit and the car drove off.
N came over that night and I drove him home. Noticed his mum didn't seem too upset flag. Remembered that DD said N didn't want to talk about it flag.
As the days went by, I asked about the funeral, if N had been etc. Nothing. flag
Dp thinks it's all bollocks, and asks a friend in the police force. By coincidence this person has been working on the road stats for the area and he states categorically that NO person/child has been involved in a hit and run for at least 8 months. The last hit and run driver handed himself in, and the victim was not killed. RED BLEEDIN FLAG!
Anyhoo, I brought all this up to her in a very nice way, she was quite upset but I managed to get through to her that it was important she thinks about why N would feed her all this crap (she was dirty on me that I told her, not really what he did at that point). That everyone had always liked him and there was no need.
She had been falling out with all her girlfriends about him as well flag, and I pointed out that this was the meaning of the code "boyfriends come and go, but friends are there forever". I asked her to ponder this - why don't they like him?, can they see something you can't?.Are they trying to protect you? etc etc.

DD started seeing some more of her gf's after that, I really, really didn't want to push it. We got over the tension (it took a few days).

FFWD to the last 2 weeks. So now they are a couple. They go shopping here and there, DD seems to spend most of her time with the girls. DD tells me she did speak to N about the cousin thing and apparently half of it is true. I state that I'm not happy as he has lied to me (well he didn't directly but I ended up involved) etc, etc. I also state that although I'm not happy with his behaviour, until DD starts showing signs she is in over her head, I won't get in the way (read: I'm not letting this little b@stard get in between me and you). I need his "your mother won't understand" bollocks to fall flat on it's face, but for her to see it happen iykwim?

Oh gawd, how long is this!

Now I've had to tell her off as N has decided it's wayyyy cool to have a swastika on his MSN thingo. I simply won't have that image in my house. TBH, I think N is trying to bait me. As soon as I objected LOUDLY, she gives me "but it's a buddhist peace symbol" crap, so I smartly rearrange her opinion on THAT.

Then comes the satanist issue (in the religion thread).
I'm not too worried about the satanist thing, she is a smart kid. What does worry me a little is N looks like he is quite the manipulator.
I'm not too sure how to monitor this situation.
She does not go out at night by herself. I always know where she is. DD is very independent and responsible.
I am quite proud of how she is turning out - I like her style, I've seen her help others, stand up and vigorously defend her ideals and friends.
She is not in one of the "cool groups" at school and is proud of that.

So what I would like to hear is - have you dealt with a "boyfriend" you didn't like? Has your teen daughter brought home a wierdo lately? How did you handle it?
I'm not looking for speculation on what you might do in this situation - more specifcally I'd like to hear from anyone who has experienced this - or were you in this situation (parents didn't like your bf) yourself?
What did your parents do, what made it worse???

Have a cuppa for getting this far!