sleep overs

[New Dawn]

Ok I was just talking about this in another thread but thought you girls with teens might be the better ones to ask so here goes...

When do you think its ok for sleep over with boyfriend/girlfriends? As you can see I am not a mother off a teen yet but I was talking about this the other day with some mums and tjought it was intrusting that they all thought it was ok for there girls to have a boy stay the night at their house but when i asked if they would let their son's stay the night at a girls house they said no.. So someone has to give the mother of the DS or the mother of DD.. What do you think...

I know I hate the idea of letting my DD's staying over at a boys house but I also dont like the idea of my DS at a girls house, but do feel that if its going to happen I would prefur for it to happen at home where I know they are "safe"..

I dont really care about what age you think is right as everyone is different I would hope my kids boys and girls would wait but know this is not the norm so am hopeing they are atleast 16/17 yrs...

love to hear your thoughts....

[saslia]

am hopeing they are atleast 16/17 yrs...l.

Me too!!! We won't be having any co-ed sleepovers until, I am hoping, they have finished high school.

[Lulu]

Not till she moves out.

Why the rush anyway?

[DoubleK]

i guess it depends on each situation... i couldnt say untill Krystal is a teenager herself!
my brother is 15, and has sleepovers at girls place's often - just friends. sometimes he's had to sleep in a seperate room, othertimes he was on a matress on the floor etc i guess it depends!!

i dont think i had any boyfriends sleep over untill Dp came to stay (we met @ 18, and moved out together @ 21) but i'd had male friends sleep over through high school.. my best friend from 15-17 was a guy, i used to sleep in his bed at his place.. all we did was sleep!

sorry im no help!

[feeb]

I didnt have a male stay over till i was 21!!!! (which was the man i eventulaly married)

I dont know whether it was cause mum and dad didnt like ex or cause they thought i was to young never argued as at 17 (nearly) 18 i was i living in halls of residence at uni and you could have anyone stay in your room and no one cared!

[mrsmac]

I have let DD's boyfriend stay once when DH was away!!The bf slept on the sofa bed in the playroom though. I am not comfortbale with him sleeping in her room (DH isn't comfortable with him sleeping in her house!)
BTW she is 16.

[melham74]

DD is 12 and I think as she gets older if a boy was to stay here DH would sit up all night with a broomstick or shotgun nearby (LOL) and no way would I allow her to stay at a boys house

[MrsB26]

My mum let my BF sleep over from when i was 16 but we were in seperate bedrooms. When i was nearly 18 (with the same bf) she let us sleep in the same room but always made it clear that she was still a little uncomfortable (who wouldnt be?) When i slept at my BF house (16) we slept in the same room but me in the single bed and him on the floor.

I had male friends sleep over from early teens (just friends) and at my house we were always in seperate bedrooms but when i slept at their house we always shared a room or a bed. Nothing was going to happen as we were just friends but i have never thought about it till now that the parents of the boys were always more relaxed about it than my mum. My mother ws never strict with us in any other way.

It's such a hard decision, i guess when the time comes yu will deal with it the best way you see fit. Mum was always very honest with me about how she felt so i knew that if i did the wrong thing then i would be hurting her, this made me behave MOST of the time but teenagers are teenagers.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

IMO, there's no need for it unless the boyf/girlf lives more than an hour away. Then seperate rooms. Obviously if they are married or maybe engaged I'll rethink, but just boyf/girlf then no. No sleeping over and no sleeping out.

Why do I feel like this? Well, I was never allowed to sleep with anyone until I was 22 and less than a year off being married. That was sleeping, not doing anything else! DH was in the guest room before that. My sister was sleeping (et cetera) with her boyf and him sleeping round at ours when she was 15. (2 years between us, not 7 btw.) Oh, but I did sleep with a male best mate from about 14 when I used to sneak out at night, or tell my mum I was at a girlfriend's place, but that was sleeping, nothing else. Because I had to get out the house one way or the other and doing it alive always seemed the best option where possible. All-nighters with the boys were always more fun than girly ones anyway.

[*Efjay*]

My god i didn't even realise this was something I would need to think about...
My answer would be No to sleeping out but *maybe* to having someone stay. that goes for both the boys & girls in my family.
I would have been 15 when I was staying at my boyfriends place & I am pretty sure Mum had to be clued on to what was going on as he was 21 & lived on his own. Wow, I have never really thought that hard about that. My Mum was pretty cool!
But me staying overnight had more to do with some issues going on at home then it did with me wanting to stay out. But thats another post!

[canberramomma]

Let's face it, they're gonna do it! The question we really have to ask is "Are we going to make it easy or difficult for them?".

I think it's just another individual parenting decision.

[Lulu]

I am not making it "hard" for my daughter - just setting decent standards.

[mrsmac]

Me too Lulu

[[M]umma[M]ia]

ive had sleep overs with bf since i was 15 but...i was never allowed to sleep in there room and my dad always told the boys if their *doodle* came out of their pants he would cut it off. SO yeh...lol

[sassy123]

i was a tom boy so i only had guy friends. from about 15 i would stay at their house sometimes but most of the time they would all stay at my place. mum was kool with it she knew we were all only friends.
When i started going out with DH he had to stay in the spare room but when i stayed at his house we always slept inteh same room and bed. i was 17 at the time. just b4 i turned 18 he was aloud to sleep in my bed at my house.