DD driving me nuts (long sorry)

[Jazzed]

Does their granny flat have its own power supply? If they are using excess power and having lights on late at night because they have friends over (that they haven't checked with you if it is ok to have over), turn the power off.

They may choose to sit and drink in the dark. That is their choice, but you shouldn't have to be paying for their excessive use especially if they getting more cash than you. In the real world, if you don't pay it gets cuts off.

Same with the dryer, if its not necessary don't allow them to use it. They will start to think about washing stuff so it has time to dry.

This is tough love stuff, but it won't hurt them. And will prepare them more for when they are out on their own.

Just as an aside, is your daughter covered contraceptively? It sounds like they aren't looking after themselves, you don't want to add another kid into the mix.

Take care,

K

Hi kate,
I was thinking about cutting the power last night but then i know she will just come up and chuck a tantrum so i didnt , today they will be getting a talking to when she gets back from work.

And yeah she takes precautions , because she doesnt even want kids because she knows she couldnt party and do the stuff she does.

I just dont know how to get through to her about the things that she does drives us crazy .

Jazzed, if she is paying rent that is great. However, I wouldn't be lending her any money if you can't afford it especially if she actually does earn more than you do! Perhaps you can charge her extra for the electricity and oil if they are having these on constantly. I think the only time I really leant the value of these things was when I actually had to pay for them myself Also if she can't borrow the money from you she will probably have less to spend on alcohol and fun.

As for the washing I think they are purposely doing this to try and get you to do thier washing. You can choose to do this or come down hard and ban the use of the clothes dryer - or charge them to use it like a laudromat.

Although it was a long time ago I do remember how selfish and self centred I was as a teenager and how I made my mum's life pretty much hell. I really only learnt to appreciate a lot of things once I moved out of home and had to fend for myself.

I hope you can work things out soon.

Hi Nai
The thing is they do know how much things cost as they were living in a house together and paying the bills before they moved in .

And we warned them weeks ago if they kept leaving lights on 24 hours a day , using the heater and the dryer they would be paying the excess and she said no its included in the rent/board. I had explained that fair use is covered not excessive use, but that doesnt bother her.

In the future i will be making sure we dont have any money in the house for her to borrow , i usually only have $50 on me for the week anyway to cover fuel , milk and bread etc. But she will ask to borrow it and give it back within days , but she never does.

I am the last person to tell you what to do ... don't have grown kids

Please don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean to be rude and I am not judging you. If I were in the same spot as you ... this might be my reaction (like I said .. not grown kids ... yet)

Don't do their washing for starters, no rent paid = no food, if the party gets rowdy - call the cops (what are the legal drinking age???) That sounds awfull, but that is life. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. HELL yes, Cassandra, we are not our suppose to be our kids friends, we are their parents, loving, caring, guiding PARENTS!!

It seems like atm they are spunging on you and your generosity and it's not going to stop, unless you put your foot down and "force" them to take responsibility for their own actions. Ppl only take advantage of you, when you allow them.

Kick them out, don't kick them out ... it's your choice, but you have to start "laying down the law"

I really hope she cleans up her act, it's hard to grow up and its probably harder to see your kids grow up. All the best, hun.

Hi Nadine

I never expected her to grow up and be this much trouble , but she is .
She could be worse , but she is bad enough to live with as it is.
As for kicking them out , its not something i really want to do but will if they dont wake up we will for our own sanity.

We were meant to be all living together long term so we could all save some money and they had a permanent roof over thier heads and didnt have to worry about having all the responsibility of renting and paying all the bills on thier own ,
I would have loved to have the setup that they have , but they dont seem to appreciate it.