Dear Dinky,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. My father passed away nearly 5 months ago so I have some idea of how you are feeling.

Again, my daughter is younger than kids however she was not in the same situation as you - seeing your dad every day; having meals with you etc so the situation would be very much harder for them, and you.

There's probably no easy way for them or you to cope however we all manage to 'hang in there'.

I think it's important - as it's already been said - to talk openly about your feelings, and encourage the kids to as well, even though Shannen doesn't seem to want to at this stage. And yes, it is ok to cry. There are things that even now (Friday was my latest) that just set you off because the situation reminds you of your Dad.

Perhaps if you can't encourage Shannen to talk to you, that maybe there is someone else to talk to - does school offer some sort of guidance counsellor?/family friend/godparent/priest/best friend's mum... anyone that she feels she can trust to share how she's feeling. If not, perhaps she can write a journal about what she's feeling, how she's coping, how much she misses your Dad. Tayla can probably do the same, even if she'd rather do drawings if she's not so capable of putting her feelings into words.

Maybe you can plant a rose bush at home - there are some lovely named ones - and it can be a place for the girls to just sit and 'be with' your Dad. A living and ongoing symbol of his presence in your life.

Hopefully these strategies can help your with the grieving.

xx