Ladies, I'm sorry if this upsets any of you but I think by making her wash her own clothes b/c of this seems as punishment like" if you don't use these, then this will be your punishment",kinda like you won't listen to me or use what I'm telling you to then you can clean up your own mess, this is just my point of view and mine only.

Also my opinion again only mine is that maybe you can or her mum can show her how they work, maybe it's just she may feel uncomfy with them on, which lets face it they are.
I think tendernesss however frustrating it maybe, encouragement is needed, she's obviously frecked out about it so tenderness maybe the way to go. Ask her how she's feeling and see if any others (her friends) have theirs yet, maybe they can talk to her, she may feel better about that, more relaxed, cos she sounds confussed and scared.

Good luck honey.