You're right Dianne. When I initially said that to my friend, I anticipated rebuilding the trust with DSD quite quickly. Owing to a few other things that have happened, that trust hasn't been rebuilt.

In fairness to me, this is the first time she's been asked to babysit (and she doesn't even know that my friend wanted her to babysit) in three months so with all the other stuff going on (health issues, pregnant, selling house, buying house), it hasn't been top of mind to talk about something that was a hypothetical ie. "IF you get asked to babysit again, you can't." Does that make sense?

ATM, I honestly have limited energy for working through things. I know that I should but my priority is staying sane (not easy given present housebound circumstances and partner working most weekends to boot) and on looking after my health enough to manage to stay out of a wheelchair around the house at least.

DSD has become a much lower priority lately than she has in the last three years.