Reply With QuoteHas she said why she doesn't want to wear them? I didn't use tampons for years cause I was too scared to put them in... but super thin pads were always fine.
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DSD not using sanitary protection
I am in need of a bit of help. DSD is having her second period and both this time and last time she has mostly not worn the pads or tampons I have bought for her. She just chucks the very bloody clothes in the dirty washing basket.
She also doesn't wear them at her mother's house either(she lives with us). Her mother and I have both spoken to her (separately) about how important it is.
I have bought her about 6 different types to try and find which one she likes. I also got her mini tampons and 10 pairs of dark underwear.
How can I make her wear them?
DH has suggested that we get her do wash everything herself, but I am more concerned that she will bleed through her clothes at school and others will see. She also doesn't seem to grasp that it is a hygeine issue.
HELP!!!!
Registered User
Has she said why she doesn't want to wear them? I didn't use tampons for years cause I was too scared to put them in... but super thin pads were always fine.
Registered User
Saslia, may i ask how old she is?
Its very stranget hat she wouldnt want to use them, has she tried at all?
Sooner or later she will have a heavier period and it will all leak through on her school clothes poor thing.....
Registered User
She just doesn't like wearing any of them.
She has super thin ones, normal ones, with wings, without wings.......I can understand the not wanting to use tampons
Registered User
She is 12 1/2 (13 in August)
She wears them sometimes but not at others.
They already are heavy enough and going through her underwear and clothes, That is one of my big worries.
Registered User
Yikes that's an interesting one! I could only imagine the kind of embarrassment I would have if I leaked period blood on my clothes. The girls I went to school with would have found it hysterical to point it out! Perhaps she doesn't feel that peer thing as yet.
Would making her clean her own clothes help. Wonder if standing her at the laundry trough with her knickers and a bar of soap and scrubbing brush would help persuade her.
Another thing could be loss of privileges but that seems a bit harsh.
Moderator
Maybe if the issue is discomfort you could see if she likes the cloth pads but it's a lot of money wasted if she doesn't use them.
Is there anyone else you can enlist? A family friend or funky aunt?
Registered User
Poor thing, she is the same age as i was! Is she even in high school yet?
I was in year six and it totally freaked me out, i couldn't tell anyone!
dach's idea of a funky aunt is good - if this isnt an option, do you know of any teachers at her school who could say something? Or an older cousin, someone under 25??!!
Registered User
Ewww!!
I would tell her she HAS to wear them!! If she doesn't she can lose priviages!! I think that is what I would do if it were my DD.
Also sounds like she needs to learn a little more self worth... dunno
BellyBelly Member
Ohh what a tough situation..for everyone!!
Maybe deep down she is embarassed about the whole period thing and doesn't want to wear a pad or similar as she doesn't want to recognise what her body is going through..It just seems a bit odd that she won't wear one just because she doesn't like wearing them..
I'm sure she'll change her mind soon..what a tricky situation for you..hope it sorts out soon..
Registered User
Ok, I'd like to say, when I first got my period I didn't understand that when your period came it stayed for a full five days and you need to wear protection for that entire time...not just when you're bleeding during those days. Especially because the first few times I only had a very short period, and it was very stop-start. It was only when I bled through my clothes (humiliatingly) at school one day when one of the other girls (very kindly might I add) explained it to me.
Perhaps you could also explain that the blood doesn't really always wash out completely and over time it will ruin her clothes? I also think that encouraging her to put them on to soak (when she does leak) and getting her to do that round of laundry through to foldingup and putting away will help her understand that there are real consequences.
I also suspect she might be in denial, or just doesn't want to mentally deal with it. She's pretty young still! Perhaps getting one of those puberty books and reading it through together and encouraging her to talk about her feelings might help.
Registered User
Also where does she keep her sanitary products? If they are in the bathroom she may forget to take them to the toilet (assuming you have a separate toilet). Makes sure you have a stash in the bathroom, toilet and also in her room. Give her her own rubbish bin with little sanitary bags.
I really hope she over comes this
Good luck
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Did someone actually show her what to do with them, or was she just given the packet of pads?
I think she should have to wash her clothes herself etc.
I must say I've had to keep on DD's back about rinsing her undies etc. My SDD was even worse, just chucking the knickers under the bed etc.
The one other thing is this - DD is 15 and would rather DIE than buy her own pads or have anyone else acknowledge that she has it at all. Perhaps she is still in denial....
Registered User
this is hard i was so young too at the time didn't even know they existed i was almost 10.
if she is in denial it will be tough for her to accept but a little teesing from other girls if it seept through her clothing will open her eyes.
i agree with the own washing idea too. tough love my mum used to call that sort of thing. she will have to do her own washing sooner or later anyway.
and also maybe get her one of those teenage self help books. there are heaps around, facts of life books that help teach teens to be healthy individals but in a way they understand, any parent to a child is daggy and wouldn't understand in their eyes. i was looking at some in a book shop not too long ago, there was heaps about periods and cycles sex and boys and all sorts of things.
Good luck hope it works out
Registered User
Has a teacher etc explained what to do with the pads at school? I can remember we were told what to do with pads at school (primary) which was a bit weird as (a) girls had to take their pads into the teachers' toilet to dispose of them and
(b) my mum hadn't told me about puberty etc!
If she's not understanding what to do with them when she's at her school, and at home, and out ... then that could lead to denial.
Much as I hate the products, maybe get her onto the Carefree etc websites that are aimed at young teens? They do have a lot of great info on there...
Registered User
Oh what a tricky one. I think cover all bases:
1. Give her the 'what you're going through is normal' chat and show her how to use the pads. Tell her they should be comfy, if they're not, she's putting them on wrong.
2. Gently explain that everyone has accidents now and again and you don't mind washing her undies when that happens BUT not when she's made no attempt to wear a pad/tampon. Also explain that after a while blood smells and it will show through her clothes. When that happens, she is likely to be teased.
3. Tell her that if no pads are worn, those undies don't get washed and she will have to wash them herself. If she doesn't do this, eventually she will only have dirty undies.
4. Tell her that she will NEVER have to buy her own pads/tampons if she's embarrassed, that you are happy to buy them for her and she can keep them in her own room.
5. Ask her if she would like to come shopping and choose them (with you paying at the counter so no need for her to be embarrassed).
I do sympathise - my 14yo DSD did wear pads. Which she then left (used) on the bathroom floor. I'm sure Freud would have had a field day with that one!
Registered User
OK, its a tough one, but its really important that someone get through to her on this. It is really unhygenic for her to do that - not only for her, but tell her to think of the people who have to sit on the seat she just got out of if she has leaked onto it - now I know seats are grubby but that is just downright grotty kwim?
Although I do understand the embarrassment of it all. I was just over 12 when I got mine and the first few times it was so uncomfortable to wear pads and I felt like everyone could *see* them because I was so self conscious of wearing them and back in those days there were no ultrathin alternatives. So I pretty quickly moved to tampons and coped with it all so much better. I was also very embarrassed and my dad only knew I had my periods when I was 13 and we moved towns (my parents were separated and I always went to mum to get pads etc - we lived with dad)
So her reasons for not wearing them I suspect would be 1 she is only 12.5yo and hasn't really *explored* herself down there yet (as most 12yo's wouldn't have I guess) and is completely unfamiliar with her vagina, hence probably being really scared of trying to insert a tampon - for the age old reason of 'will I lose my virginity' or will it be gross/dirty/naughty to put something in there kwim? 2 she is self conscious about wearing a pad like I was or 3 she just doesn't understand the whole concept of it all yet.
Teenage girls can be cruel and boys can be crueller still - tell her that she will more than likely never live it down if she did bleed onto her school clothes at school etc and that would be very hard to deal with on top of everything else. I really loathe having to take that road of almost belittling her, but it might be the only way to get through to her.
Administrator
I'm pretty sure another member had a similar problem last year or the year before, maybe they could offer some advice as to how they combatted this problem. Goodluck!
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