How would you feel? (from a teenagers point of view)

[jaspen]

I wouldn't expect a good response. If Ds and DS GF have established their private time within the confines of his room and you are suggesting to take that away from them indefinitely I'd expect all hell to break loose especially if there is already some tension there. I'm not saying don't discuss it and gauge a response or even not to do it (your familys house your familys rules and what is best for the entire family is what I'd have to go with at the end of the day rather than solely whether or not an 18 yr old will like losing private time with his girlfriend) - but I'd be surprised if it was well received - only you know your son and his maturity though and how he's likely to feel about things like this.

[boobaloo]

i agree, i don't think you'd get a great response, also 5 years is a big age gap for the boys once they hit their teen years, and it could be hard for them to have to share a room.
as someone else said, maybe put bub in the family room to sleep in a portacot, if you can't have her in your room?

[~clover~]

Maybe talk to DS1 about it. Instead of talking to a teen, talk to another adult iykwim. If he & his gf can have their space at her house, you aren't exactly taking that away from them.
Maybe sit them both down? Say you need to get their point of view. Explain the whole situation & that you hate the idea of taking their privacy away, but that you need to think about everyone. If you make them part of the decision, rather than just tell them thats the way it will be, it might be alot easier, with alot less to deal with from DS1 iykwim.
Or you could tell him to save up & buy a caravan & put it in the back yard. I moved into our caravan at 16 so I didn't have to share with my 10 year old sister anymore.

[LimeSlice]

Maybe talk to DS1 about it. Instead of talking to a teen, talk to another adult iykwim. If he & his gf can have their space at her house, you aren't exactly taking that away from them.
Maybe sit them both down? Say you need to get their point of view. Explain the whole situation & that you hate the idea of taking their privacy away, but that you need to think about everyone. If you make them part of the decision, rather than just tell them thats the way it will be, it might be alot easier, with alot less to deal with from DS1 iykwim.

That sounds like a great idea. so whilst you may well have already made up your own mind and will do it regardless, he can at least feel like an adult wth some input, and it will also make him feel like he has saved some face with his girlfriend, rather than looking like a little kid who lets his mum make decisions for him

Good luck - not easy, but necessary for everyone.

[ladybird11]

I think involving both DS' is important - especially since DS1 is already talking about moving out - it'd be best he does that on his own terms and not feel as if he is being forced (not to mention its better that he has a say on the matter as DS1's g/f may see this as trying to squeeze her out and 'be in his ear' about it)....

Just my 2 cents worth ;-)

[jaspen]

agree with the last few posters as to how to deal with the decision making process

[Lulu]

wow, the caravan idea is a great one. I think you can rent them - do you have room for one?