How would you feel? (from a teenagers point of view)

[LimeSlice]

Maybe talk to DS1 about it. Instead of talking to a teen, talk to another adult iykwim. If he & his gf can have their space at her house, you aren't exactly taking that away from them.
Maybe sit them both down? Say you need to get their point of view. Explain the whole situation & that you hate the idea of taking their privacy away, but that you need to think about everyone. If you make them part of the decision, rather than just tell them thats the way it will be, it might be alot easier, with alot less to deal with from DS1 iykwim.

That sounds like a great idea. so whilst you may well have already made up your own mind and will do it regardless, he can at least feel like an adult wth some input, and it will also make him feel like he has saved some face with his girlfriend, rather than looking like a little kid who lets his mum make decisions for him

Good luck - not easy, but necessary for everyone.

[ladybird11]

I think involving both DS' is important - especially since DS1 is already talking about moving out - it'd be best he does that on his own terms and not feel as if he is being forced (not to mention its better that he has a say on the matter as DS1's g/f may see this as trying to squeeze her out and 'be in his ear' about it)....

Just my 2 cents worth ;-)

[jaspen]

agree with the last few posters as to how to deal with the decision making process

[Lulu]

wow, the caravan idea is a great one. I think you can rent them - do you have room for one?

[Mum2Romone]

well I would not give a 6 month old a room over a 18 year old. Put simply.

You will just push him to move out sooner and make the girlfriend even more unfortable . I think its weird to have to have an adult share with a young teen and then a baby to have a room....

[~Raven~]

I would like to think that an 18yo would be mature enough to consider the needs of others as well as his own. Maybe it's time to have a chat about the bedroom arrangements and see what he suggests. I've had friends in similar situations ie having to share a room with a sibling and needing quality time with the GF, and they have taken turns camping out in the lounge for the night.

I also know of several friends that moved out of home due to not being allowed to have the GF/BF stay in their room so I think he should also acknowledge you allowing him to especially with young siblings.

The caravan option is a good idea, though they can cost a bomb to rent a can be comparable to a unit. MIL did that for BIL for a while and still carries on about how it cost thousands.

[mollycat]

Thanks everyone, there has been some good points made.

I guess my main "gripe" is that there is a room sitting there maybe 3 nights each week that's not being used. We have moved our wardrobe (no built-ins in this house) into Ds1's room, so we can fit DD's cot in our room. Ds2 already "shares" his room with the FDC children (they use the room during the day for their sleep room - so he has a cot permanently set up as well as sleep mats during the week).

I think we need to sit down and have a talk with him and see what we can do. I'm really thinking our best option may be converting the loungeroom, I really don't want to push Ds1 out. Ds1 is a good kid, and we have always had a very open relationship, even he will say "you're not kicking me out, just giving me a little nudge". (this is when he mentioned getting stuff together to move out of home and I gave him some towels I had put away for christmas pressies last year but didn't use)

[*Belle*]

I would also sit down and ask him his thoughts.

In the meantime while he is staying at his girlsfriends those night, I would move the cot into the room so you can see how your DD likes having a room, to test it out?

[~*familyof3*~]

I agree i think its a bit much to ask an 18yr old to share a room.Yes they are old enough to understand the needs of others but so are we and quite frankly an 18yr and a teen need more privacy than a baby.

We have a sim thing here we have 5yrs between the two boys and expecting one in Jan. We only have a 3bed home too. But i decided theres no way im going to make the older two share. We have sucked it up and know we need to move.So in time we will.But mine are also younger than yours lol