How would you feel? (from a teenagers point of view)

[boobaloo]

i agree, i don't think you'd get a great response, also 5 years is a big age gap for the boys once they hit their teen years, and it could be hard for them to have to share a room.
as someone else said, maybe put bub in the family room to sleep in a portacot, if you can't have her in your room?

[~clover~]

Maybe talk to DS1 about it. Instead of talking to a teen, talk to another adult iykwim. If he & his gf can have their space at her house, you aren't exactly taking that away from them.
Maybe sit them both down? Say you need to get their point of view. Explain the whole situation & that you hate the idea of taking their privacy away, but that you need to think about everyone. If you make them part of the decision, rather than just tell them thats the way it will be, it might be alot easier, with alot less to deal with from DS1 iykwim.
Or you could tell him to save up & buy a caravan & put it in the back yard. I moved into our caravan at 16 so I didn't have to share with my 10 year old sister anymore.

[LimeSlice]

Maybe talk to DS1 about it. Instead of talking to a teen, talk to another adult iykwim. If he & his gf can have their space at her house, you aren't exactly taking that away from them.
Maybe sit them both down? Say you need to get their point of view. Explain the whole situation & that you hate the idea of taking their privacy away, but that you need to think about everyone. If you make them part of the decision, rather than just tell them thats the way it will be, it might be alot easier, with alot less to deal with from DS1 iykwim.

That sounds like a great idea. so whilst you may well have already made up your own mind and will do it regardless, he can at least feel like an adult wth some input, and it will also make him feel like he has saved some face with his girlfriend, rather than looking like a little kid who lets his mum make decisions for him

Good luck - not easy, but necessary for everyone.

[ladybird11]

I think involving both DS' is important - especially since DS1 is already talking about moving out - it'd be best he does that on his own terms and not feel as if he is being forced (not to mention its better that he has a say on the matter as DS1's g/f may see this as trying to squeeze her out and 'be in his ear' about it)....

Just my 2 cents worth ;-)

[jaspen]

agree with the last few posters as to how to deal with the decision making process

[Lulu]

wow, the caravan idea is a great one. I think you can rent them - do you have room for one?

[Mum2Romone]

well I would not give a 6 month old a room over a 18 year old. Put simply.

You will just push him to move out sooner and make the girlfriend even more unfortable . I think its weird to have to have an adult share with a young teen and then a baby to have a room....

[~Raven~]

I would like to think that an 18yo would be mature enough to consider the needs of others as well as his own. Maybe it's time to have a chat about the bedroom arrangements and see what he suggests. I've had friends in similar situations ie having to share a room with a sibling and needing quality time with the GF, and they have taken turns camping out in the lounge for the night.

I also know of several friends that moved out of home due to not being allowed to have the GF/BF stay in their room so I think he should also acknowledge you allowing him to especially with young siblings.

The caravan option is a good idea, though they can cost a bomb to rent a can be comparable to a unit. MIL did that for BIL for a while and still carries on about how it cost thousands.