thread: need someone's opinion and someone to talk to (a teenager or young woman)

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2009

    Exclamation need someone's opinion and someone to talk to (a teenager or young woman)

    hey, i need some information from a teenage mum or a young mum. what is it like? how did u decide what to do when you were pregnant? what symptoms did u get before you found out you were pregnant? how did the father of the baby (hopefully ur bf) react? and anything else you can add to prepare a young, very young maybe pregnant teenager....
    ash xx

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    Home, where else??

    I am not a teenage mum but best wishes. You must be petrified.

    I suggest you see your GP and confirm whether you are pregnant or not. They will be able to help you with your options and maybe even help talk to your parents if you need them to.

    Do you have anyone you can talk to? Maybe a teacher or parent of a friend?

    Good luck sweetie!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Apr 2009

    Hey there. I was engaged when i got pg and I thought my man would run. He's already got 1 son and thats not going well. So when i told him I was terrified. He was so happy though!!!! And now were married and trying again. I felt sick and 'stretchy'. Like my body was stretching out to make room. Thats the only way I can describe it. I was scared of the whole pg and labour and what I'd do after. But I had some help and some common sense so now were doing okay.

    If you ever need someone to talk to send me a msg. Apart from that congrats chick and good luck

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    In a cloud of madness.

    Sweetie, sending you lots of hugs.

    My first suggestion is to do a hm pg test or head to the doctor to make sure either way. You don't want to be stressing about nothing.

    Of course, the idea of a little bubba - another life, can freak some guys (and girls for that matter out). The best thing you can do is to talk about your feelings. Do you have other family members around that you can talk to that you trust??
    There are quite a number of services out there to support young mums, both emotionally and materialistic stuff.

    Symptoms can include... morning (or all day) sickness, sore boobs, missed period, tiredness, constant toilet trips.

    For me personally, i don't think i could have coped as a young young mum... but its only you that can decide that. Of course, the girls on BB with give you all the support you need. You ae the one that will have to live with your choice either way.

    Of course though...there are benefits to being a young mummy things like having the energy to cope with an active little one and all those night shifts LOL. I personally wouldn't change it for the world.

    We are all here to support you hun and here if you need to chat.
    Good Luck hun. Sending you lots of hugs. xxxx

  5. #5
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic

    There is a whole section dedicated to young parents around here somewhere.

    good luck xoxoxo

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    in the garden

    I am not a teenage mum anymore, but I was...I was 16 when I fell pregnant with my daughter ... she is now 14.

    What is it like? scary..but I think being a first time mum is a bit scary anyway.

    How to decide what to do.. the first thing you have to do is do a test... even the home tests you can get at the supermarket are very accurate, (i used one for this bub when I was 2 days late & it showed up, I didn't think it would). So that is the first thing, as jennjorja said, you don't want to be stressing about nothing. If its positive you need to see a doctor and get an estimate of your dates, then you can make decisions about what next.

    As for symptoms, I didn't get any until I found out then all of a suddedn the morning sickness hit... everyone is different... tiredness, nausea, needing to go to the toilet lots are the most common early symptoms... you might have no symptoms at all other than a late period.

    My boyfriend was ok about it, just as shocked as I was and although he was young too I think he tried to do as best as he could then. We stayed together another couple of years, not together anymore but that's life & that happens to adults too

    The best thing you can do is find someone to talk to, if not a family member maybe a friends mother, if not family or friends then a family planning clinic counsellor, they deal with these situations all the time and it is all confidential.
    The best thing you can do is talk! You need to know you're not alone and talking helps you see things clearly.

    Good luck!

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Professional Support Panel

    Nov 2005

    Hi Ash
    If you need a midwife to chat to feel free to contact me at any time. Everything that we talk about will remain between us.
    also as the others have said you need to find out if you are pregnant. You can miss a period for quite a number of reasons. get yourself a home pregnancy test or take a trip to the doctors.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    Brighton, Brisbane

    Hey, i'm 19, i'm pregnant with my first. Honestly, i'm freaking out.
    My bf and i joked one day about having a baby, and sorta started trying. If we got pregnant, awesome! If not, then oh well.
    Eight months later, i saw the two little lines show up and suddenly, "HOLY SH*T!!! What the hell have we done!!!!"
    After a couple of pretty freaked out hours i'd calmed down and gotten used to it.
    Aborting was never really an option for me, I had done a highschool debate on abortion and i had to research it, and i don't even think i could go through with doing it.
    Plus i figured i'm old enough and DP and i are stable enough to be able to do this together. And plus plus, I was going to have a baby!! Yay! Lol.

    I'd pretty much figured out i was pregnant before i took the test. Symptoms were, EXTREME pms like symptoms, i would go from screaming at DP cause he didn't come and give me a kiss AS SOON as he got home, to crying as though my whole world had ended because i missed hungry jacks brekkie by ten mins.
    Also was getting all the symptoms like the ones you get before that time of the month, i.e. bloating, sore boobs (!!!), cramps, etc etc.
    Smells would get to me like you wouldn't believe, anything that was a little funky smelling sent me reeling towards the bathroom.

    My partner is 23 and already has a little girl (3 and a half) from a previous relationship, so he was pretty relaxed about the whole thing. He was 19 when his daughter was born to his then 16yr old gf. So he'd done the whole scenario before and was just happy.

    Honestly, it really kinda depends on your age and your own situation. Just remember, this isn't the end of the world. Your not alone, and you CAN do this.
    Being a parent is damn hard (so everyone tells me, lol), being pregnant is sometimes awesome, and sometimes you just want the kid out......NOW!!!!! (like how i'm feeling at the moment).

    One thing is so true though, (for me at least) when you feel a bit of your baby brushing the inside of your skin and a little lump comes up on your tummy, and you press it, and then it presses back, the outside world doesn't exist, and even though you haven't met them yet, you already love them more than you could ever love anything or anyone else. (oh sshhh everyone, Peanut and I had a moment today)

    If you are pregnant, get some support around you, your mum will automatically become your new best friend, you guys will be closer than ever.
    Hopefully your bf will be into it if you are and if you decide to keep it.
    If he's not, then it's completely up to you what you do.

    Take a test, see what happens.
    If you'd like to talk sometime, private message me or something.


  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2007

    Hey chickie,

    I'm Ash too , I am 21 so 19 when I fell pregnant.... by the sounds of it you are much younger, but...

    LOVEY... you will be FINE!!! I promise you.

    We are made to be mothers. It is not age that makes us mothers, it is actions, and if you are 13, 17, 25, or 40 I am sure you will be a wonderful mum. You are here, seeking help for what step to take next that is a huge start chickie... you're showing you are ready.

    We will be here behind you, no matter your age.

    Chin up, thinkgs always work out in the end...

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Apr 2009

    Thumbs up aww thanx gals

    hey gals, thanx so much for your support, you's really made my day
    by the way, i'm 15 (16 in a month). i m worried about my body, its doing really strange things, plz someone help..
    (be prepared dis might be 2 much info) i just got out of the bath and all of a sudden some pee just came out, like i had no control over my body then i ws like wat the...ok then, then i looked down and a trickle of red red blood came out.... then when that stopped a bit more came out which was more watered down...i dnt understand wts goin on wit my body, is this bad, is it gd, is this a symptom...smeone plz help..i'm gtin worried nd confused

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007

    Hi hun.
    Have you been weeing more than normal? Sore or tingly boobs? Feeling sick? Tired? Any of those. They are all symptoms of pregnancy. Although you may get none of these.
    I fell pg with my first at 17. Its a bit daunting, but my boyf & I had been together a while & I knew he wasn't going anywhere. We are still together now & married. Mum was my biggest challenge.
    I'm not sure whats going on right now. Do you have any idea how many weeks you might be? Maybe you could go see your gp in the morning. I'm pretty sure you could go to the emergency dept at your hospital too if you're worried.
    I know alot of young mums. Even younger than you. Some made mistakes, others are great mums. I always thought being young made me a better mum because I wanted to prove that I wasn't just 'one of those'. They stereo type you pretty badly. People just assume your single & useless & that you know nothing. Its not fun, but do your research, know what your getting yourself into & you'll be fine.

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2008
    Kurri Kurri

    (be prepared dis might be 2 much info) i just got out of the bath and all of a sudden some pee just came out, like i had no control over my body then i ws like wat the...ok then, then i looked down and a trickle of red red blood came out.... then when that stopped a bit more came out which was more watered down...i dnt understand wts goin on wit my body, is this bad, is it gd, is this a symptom...smeone plz help..i'm gtin worried nd confused

    I'm sorry hun but I think you need to be seen by a doctor either at emergency or your gp. It sounds like you might have miscarried. Maybe you haven't but I would get checked to make sure. Tell them everything and see what they say. They will do a pg test and then maybe an ultrasound to see what is going on.

    Good luck

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Jul 2006

    Hi Ash, how are you going? Have you had things checked out since the blood? Are you able to talk to your mum or grandmother or someone at all? I was 21 (just) when I had my first, not as young as you but still young.

    I wanted to mainly say that I commend you for coming and trying to source information and asking for advice and help. That in itself is an enormous step and is something which will help you deal with whatever the circumstance is. to you.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Apr 2009


    umm well i have been feeling a bit sick, always hungry, need to pee alot, massive modd swings ova da lilist things, i dnt know if i'm pregnant yet because i only just had unprotected sex not even a week ago, i'm plannign to take a pregnancy test on monday. i though if u mis carriaged it would be like a blood clot...omg i'm so worried. today i had heaps of blood, more than usual come out, nd it was bright red. i got lumpy boobs to, cramps, headaches sometimes.....

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Country Victoria

    Is the blood you are experiencing period type blood or more?

    It could be the result of a miscarriage or it could just be your body responding to coming off of the pill and getting back to normal. I know that when I came off the pill my period was all over the place, my period pain was much worse, I did not have any on the pill, my breasts were sore and so on, this is why I say it COULD be a normal side effect from coming off of the pill.

    If it is alot of blood, more than a normal period, if there are any clots, as you would only be 3 weeks pregnant (2 weeks before you had unprotected sex and 1 week since) then you may not get any clots as it is so early. If you have really bad cramping then I would suggest that you go to see a GP or the hospital.

    Do you have anyone to speak to in real life? Your Mum, older sister, friends Mum?

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Apr 2009


    the blood i'm having is a really bright red and it isn't more than what i get in my period and there is no clots..i read that when u go off the pill u usually dnt get ur periods for a like weeks coz they all ova da place, so cnt see why i'm bleeding? i've only had a few lil cramps, the first time is was just underneath my belly and was like a re arranging feeling and squeezing type feeling.

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Apr 2009


    i have been tlkin to my friend which is my bf's sister :S i dont really want to tell my mum until i know i'm pregnant

  18. #18
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Apr 2009

    Do you think you could not be pregnant. I know with me when I am on the pill my period is light and when I am off the pill my period is really heavy and abit painful and some months a few very small clots. I get headaches also and it is much much heavier then they are when I am on the pill. Maybe it is your period and its really heavy in comparison as now your not on the pill. I hope you are ok I can imagine how scary it must be not knowing whats really going on and having no one to talk to. Can you see a family health nurse? They could do a pregnancy test and confirm if you need to see a dr for more tests or if its a heavy period. They are not aloud to disclose your information to anyone so it would be confidential. Thinking of you. I was pregnant with my first at 16 (had her at 17) my parents didn't know I was pregnant till I was 6months (had her 11weeks after they found out) as I was too scared to tell them. My mum guessed before I had the courage to tell her.