The Princess Diaries....

[Lulu]

Got a phone call from the Yr10 Co-ordinator letting me know she has an "in school" suspension. I think that means they sit in the library all day....big fricken deal, she doesn't care, she just gets all her homework done.
Anyway its because she wagged school oh Tuesday with all her mates (didn't they think anyone would notice?) The coordinator and I had a good chat and he is happy that she is moving school next year because without her friends she is a great student, her marks dont suffer but her attitude does..
So she wants to go to some band thing on the weekend, so I said no initially but after a convo with Auntie Niliac decided that wagging isn't really that bad (I mean I wagged a bit, sometimes I just needed a day off), so I go see her for a chat, shes crapped right off. Apparently its none of my business that she wagged school...

GGRraaghhhhh! I was going to let her go tonight if she promised she wouldn't do it again, just make it through the last 6 weeks or so, then its holidays anyway. Now I have to listen to that bloody awful scream music coming from her room all afternoon

[tiggerandpooh]

Your better then me - I wouldn't let her go. Actions have consequences... and if she wants a "mental Health day" (that's what I call them) then it should be something you initiate. JMO.

[Lulu]

I dunno...she missed out anyway as the thing was on today, not tonight like I thought. I told her I was pretty disappointed about it and that she should have told me. See awhile ago I stopped writing notes for her when she was late...err well I didn't really, I just refused to lie for her. ie - Isabelle is tardy today as she did not get out of bed until 8am.. I told her it was her problem if she was late for school and if she got detention etc I wouldn't get her out of it. I used the words "its between you and the school".

So as she said last night - I did my punishment with the school and its between them and me......backfire on me.

[Lolli]

Oh Lulu you poor thing. As a general rule, girls that age are just... nasty. To their parents and their friends. I know I was. She will grow out of it eventually. And she will be very very sorry (the way I am to my mum).
Hang on in there


ETA- Yep that backfired But look on the bright side- she is obviously a very clever girl and not goin to let anyone pull the wool over her eyes....

[Footsteps]

god i was sooo like that...i moved out of my mums at 15 spent part of my time at my aunts and my then boyfriends i was a little biatch. i promise you lulu it does pass im 20 now and im the one mum turns to for help or to talk to bout my bro 16 and my sis 23.
honestly she needs to realise that you wont do anything for her, if she throws a tanty TRY and ignore her (not easy i know) the one difference is i love cleanin so i cleaned my bedroom dishes etc.
it does pass and she will grow out of it.
my mum is going through it now with my brother and hes a little *****.
take care huni
rach xxxx

[Ozziehoffy]

Lulu, to you. It's not just girls My oldest DS is 15 and well let's just say that he uses the same tactics re: dishwasher etc. I am CONSTANTLY pulling him up on how he speaks (not necessarily what he says) to me and then being all lovely and nice when he wants money or to go somewhere. Tough battle I know but we have to get to the end one day right?? lol. Soldier on is all I can offer hun oh and of course come and vent when you need to.

[Lulu]

Well she seems over it already and we are talking again. I've decided not to stress too much, she is like Melbourne weather - 4 seasons in one day...

[Lulu]

Great. She didn't turn up at school today.

She also knows the school sends an sms to the parents when I kids doesn't turn up. I almost cant be bothered with this crap anymore.


ETA : Ha, just called my mother and she is furious, and is going to call DD. Cos Im a dobber

[Junglemum]

whatever works lulu!

[Ozziehoffy]

Lol @ being a dobber Lulu. How'd it turn out?

[Lulu]

Phew! Just cracked my well earned beer for the day....all is quiet here for a change .

SO, DD was mildly intolerable all this week. Mum had been calling her each day for a chat, and talk things through. Mum said DD sounded pretty unhappy about everything and said she knows its stupid to wag school right now. I explained to her that I am TRYING to get her into a better school but I feel like she is going to make a fool out of me. The new school is pretty competitive and out of our zone (but easier to get to), so I told her she was up against others and if she didn't get in she would be at the closest school to us which is social suicide as it has the UGLIEST uniform you have seen in your life. She got the message.

Then it happens......she gets the call.......the boyfriend is back!

So more background, I never had time to update you on this bit but the BF was suspended from school for 6 WEEKS, along with 2 of his mates for......get this



FIREBOMBING the house of some kid they didn't like. **** !!! Now that came right out of left field and I'm probably going over the top but they chucked a couple of molotov ****tails at the house, the car and verandah caught on fire. OMG again. I can't tell you how disappointed I was in BF. DD tells me they were all very shocked and totally underestimated what happened but.......whadaya say? No one was hurt BTW, but it could have been tragic.

DD mentioned he was in trouble and I only put 2 and 2 together when I read it in the local paper So he got sent away to his dads in QLD.... WOO HOO!!!

Until this week, when DD tells me he is coming back and can she please have Wednesday off to go see him? Uuummmm NO, she had Thursday off and she could see him then and on the weekend. I even invited him to my nephews 1st B'day on Sunday. All good.

I even ring her yesterday am to check she was on her way to school. She lied. I got a call from the school, so I called her and got another w@nkey type drama story - her friend P got beaten up by his older brother and she had to help him look for a place to live.

Hey, feel free to go make a cuppa and have a wee, theres heaps to go yet

So I just go OFF, its bollocks - every time she is in trouble P is right in the middle of it and Im sick of hearing his name by this stage. I told her it had nothing to do with her, he probably got his ass kicked for being a little turd anyway and she could get her butt home right now.

30 mins later a car pulls up, it's the BF and his mum. GOOD, I wanna talk to her about WHY she let my daughter hang out at her place all day when she is supposed to be in school.
She wanted to chat and mentioned that she did ask if it was ok DD was not at school and DD lied and said I knew she wasn't going today.....Anyhoo, we got some stuff sorted and both us mums said "righto - you want to see each other, thats fine - but no more stuffing about. No way is DD to have time off school because BF is home" (he might return to school or get a job they are unsure, but his mum is right on top of that), we made all our expectations crystal clear - bullet points and all, and both of them agreed that this will be a new start. No more buggerising around.

And you know what. I feel fantastic about it, and I really feel like they will do the right thing. They now know they will have to face both parents if they play up.
They both looked tickled pink to see each other, all shy again and blushing away. It was really quite sweet. They have been together for about 18 months I think now and you can't really argue with that. Its clear to see they care about each other and JAYSUS does the BF look great!

Lulu cracks another beer

Sending him to his dads is QLD has made a huge impact. BF was always a rather big, imposing lad (he wore a hood over his face his entire primary school years trying to make himself smaller I think), but he was sort of 'soft' iykwim? Being of the emo type genre, most of their free time is spent chilling out to music and getting all angsty in a dark room so being out on a huge property with patchy internet and no mobile coverage saw the young lad off in the fresh air and rounding up cattle (c'mon a little bit of artistic licence never hurt...) and dirtbikes and paddock bashers. Well bugger me is he hadn't dropped some weight, his skin is all glowy (rather than pasty) and he had a new confidence - actually looking me in the eye and chatting away. He's a new kid.

So DD happily took the punishment of cleaning up the toy room, and had it sparkling in 20 mins. Way better than what I could do....so we happy.

omg, what an epic. I really should post more often....

[tiggerandpooh]

brilliant lulu - just brilliant. good feeling when you have those "i'm doing great as a mummy" isnt it? make sure you are reaching over and patting yourself on the back hun - you deserve it.
My DD had a wee hissy fit tonight - DS came home from school, in tears. A high school kid on the bus had called him ET - Saying he has a big head. and laura just laughed at nathan and said "that's my adopted brother" instead of backing him up. I was NOT impressed, she should have known better, and done accorrdingly. I was very disappointed in her. Strangely, being disappointed in her seems to have a much better effect then being angry at her. I sent her to her room - because I really couldn't talk about it - without getting angry. I even had a cry about it. I felt she let her brother down so much, by not sticking up for him, and it broke my heart. .... any way enough about me - this is your princess's diaries - not mine. Yay for the victory - and brilliant that BF mum is on side - united front!!!

[fionas]

Fionas pouring (another) glass of cheeky white...

If it makes you feel any better Lulu, my first snog was with a boy who got sent to borstal (juvenile detention) for, wait for it, setting the school on fire. Well, that's one way of getting rid of the school problem! And look at how well I turned out. Where are my fags?

Look, I think you've done everything perfectly. We can only lead them in the right direction and show them that the right way to deal with disagreements is to talk things through but ultimately parents have to be parents.

[tiggerandpooh]

things must be all good on the western front lulu. that's great! long may it continue!!!

[Lulu]

Well WOOO HOOOOO

It looks like she will be moving to the better school next year. They read her report and invited her to an interview today! It went really well and once they sorted her subject preferences it looks like she's IN!

They have about 8 million more VCE subjects than where she is currently and while reading the list got all inspired about all the possibilities! Woo, she wants to do International Politics.....and so do I!!!!!

[tiggerandpooh]

lulu that's brilliant.... its good that you are writing down the victories as well hun. makes it all worth it eh

[kristy J]

I agree with the 'ride it out' people. It is a teenage phase where the world revolves only around ME, me, ME, (being the teenager in question) but it will pass. Hang in there.

I agree...

i was such a cow as a teen. gave my parents hell, skipped school, snuck out to go clubbing (my first night club was the burbon and beefsteak in the cross when i was 15, over 2 hours from home)
the only thing that fixed me was to leave school and get a trade. also i moved out at 17 and it turned out ok. mum alwasy said " if you need me im here no questions asked" at the time i didn't relise how much saying that helped.

one day you will look back and laugh when she is preying her kids don't act up...my mum does...

good luck

[Madham]

LuLu that is fabulous now she has something to look forward to and strive for and it sounds like she has all the support she needs from you. Well done.