She is 18 in a month, doing her final year at school and doing very well. She ended up moving out, it sucked at the time but it's been better for everyone not having that revolting teen attitude hanging around all day
Wow Lulu, I've just managed to read through all the posts and some I laughed at, some I sympathised with and some I got angry at for you. I'm so glad that your DD has settled into the new school and everything is going well. Not good that she had to move out but if it has helped all parties then ok. Here's hoping that my DD decides to do the right thing as well but I don't think she will.
Lulu, that was epic, reading all of that. Well done to you, you superwoman! I really related to a lot of things you wrote as well. Morehow you described yourself as a teen, I was like that too when I was 16...yeah I was feral, but I could talk the talk and walk the walk. Everything I said I would do I did. Threatened to move out, did. Said I would go and get a job (mum was very doubtful, a 16 yo highschool dropout) and I did one better and got a job touring internationally. I'm glad your DD is doing so much better now fwiw, my mum and I never had a terrible relationship, we were just too similar, we clashed so much. But I can honestly say she is my best friend now. She is so strong and brave and inspirational, and I'm so glad I had her when I was a feral little biatch lol.
Oh lordy there are so many threads from me in here
There was the BF that was a satanist, the long running dishwasher saga, the wagging sagas, the I want alcohol sagas, the time where I locked her out for 2 weeks and she lived on 2 minute noodles
her frontal lobe is starting to develop lol... thank god!
... I now have the teen queen. ... but she's beautiful - vivacious- PITA - passionate-courageous-drives me up the wall at times... sure as hell makes life interesting.
DD1 got so RANCID I can't even describe it. Rude, pushy, calling me names when she didn't get what she wanted then being sweet as pie when she needed something. I didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha half the time. Some days we could have lovely chats, then she was throwing things at me.
I don't let anyone treat me like that, least of all my daughter and that's why I really did lock her out of the house for a couple of weeks. She was living the the self contained unit out the back of my house (poor baby) so it's not like she was roughing it.
It came to a head when I found alcohol in her room and confiscated it. I was in her room to check she had turned the heater off and found such a revolting mess (the lazy so and so). She got physical with me and I ended up having to literally take control of her and push her out of the house and lock the door So my days of being a nightclub door biartch came in handy. It was bloody awful though and took ages to get over it.
I told her to rack off for the weekend, so she did and ended up telling everyone I kicked her out . I stepped in with the local community youth place and they found her somewhere to live (supported housing). It's really close to her school.
Once I knew she was safe I just let her go. I was pretty powerless about it but JJEEEEZE it made such a difference to me at home. No more stress and tension, no more arguments.
So now she pays her own way, has a curfew (that she doesn't ignore) cooks and cleans. Totally independent, goes to school and his hoping to be a midwife.
It took awhile for her to mend the bridges with me, she put me through hell and I didn't deserve it (or did the rest of the family), but things are really good now. We even play guitar hero when we can, she appreciates things alot more....but she still expects me to run around after her ....which I DON'T.
Long story short Lulu, we're having problems with DSD AGAIN. Can you tell me what the deal was with the local community youth place ie. would they only take her if you said she'd been kicked out and is it means-tested on parental income?
I actually refused to kick her out. She had it good at my place and insisted she didn't run away from her responsibilities. When she decided not to come home I found out the hoe-bag parent that I thought had a nice house not far from me, had actually left her husband and was living in a BOARDING HOUSE...with MY DAUGHTER.
Thats when I called them in. It was a division of Anglicare I think, they are very good with Youth. She was declared independent through 'family breakdown' (so she got what she wanted ) and I was REALLY angry about it and fought it all the way, because at the end of the day it was about her not wanting load the dishwasher or come home for dinner.
So if SDD managed to do the same (unreasonable to live at home provision - vomit) she MAY be able to tap into some sort of Anglicare support. I'm not sure if youth allowance is means tested if UTLAH comes into it though. It would be worth a phone call to Clink to check. You know Clink will cane her BUTT about either going to school or working...but that will be her problem and probably the best thing for her. You won't know yourself once she is out of the way (aren't I HORRIBLE???, yes but it's true, you have enough to worry about right now).
If it's not means tested, and if you consider that it is unreasonable for her to live there it might be the way forward hun xoxoxo
Well, I have drawn on all the experiences on BB and last night we gave her some options - we have told her that she is welcome to explore options such as shared houses (unlikely given that she doesn't have an income) but presuming she can't find a room, then:
a) You come to Woodend with us but you sleep in the shed for a month as a consequence of all the crap that you've put out in the last however many months. I'm sick of living with a compulsive liar and bull**** artist and don't need this crap. (using yours and TMTM's strategy of keeping them separate to main house). The shed is not glam but it does have electricity and a wood heater. It would kill her to live there when she would have her own bathroom in the main house.
b) You go back to your mum. I will happily pay the airfare and take you to the airport tomorrow.
c) You go to boarding school (thank you Bath for that option) provided that your mum/grandparents come to the party on the fees. (Her grandparents are quite wealthy and have offered to put her through college as they have for all their other grandkids so I don't feel that we would be taking advantage).
She's currently a bit rattled. She knows we wouldn't kick her out on the streets but knows that I'm bloody-minded enough to make her live in the shed until she decides she can follow our rules.
Well as you well know Lulu I don't think you are horrible at all. Sending my DD to boarding school has been the best thing we have done in years. It's been great for her safety, her connectedness to extended family (she now has a very close relationship with her aunty especially) it's been great for her social education in that she's having to get to know how country kids live and it's damn EXCELLENT for her actual studies! She is actually doing her homework and is top of the class in several subjects instead of being bottom in them all due to total disengagement. Yeah it's costing us a packet.... but no more than the average parent spends on a wedding LOL rest assured we won't be helping her pay for her wedding but at the end of the day I know which one is better value for money!!!
Keep up the good work matey!
ETA: oh and I forgot it's also been good for our relationship... she is now talking to us in whole sentences... instead of monosyllables.
Oh Lu. I really hope you are still kicking around here (me too) when my DD is 16. She's driving me so nuts now that I want to tell her to get out Throwing things, yelling at me & calling me names.
I'm scared of her getting older!
She's only 8!!
I'm so glad you guys are getting along so much better
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
fwiw, my mum and I never had a terrible relationship, we were just too similar, we clashed so much. But I can honestly say she is my best friend now. She is so strong and brave and inspirational, and I'm so glad I had her when I was a feral little biatch lol.
So my days of being a nightclub door biartch came in handy. It was bloody awful though and took ages to get over it.
. I stepped in with the local community youth place and they found her somewhere to live (supported housing). It's really close to her school.
You're a legend Lu
Throwing things, yelling at me & calling me names.
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