Teenager and Porn

[fionas]

I agree with Trillian. Bring it up in conversation (hard to do I know ... "can you pass me the carrots John and yeah what do you think about Penthouse these days?").

Perhaps wait until something porn-related happens in the news or if something's going to be on Today Tonight or ACA about online porn and how easy it is for kids to access it.

And I agree with Schmickers - emphasise that the bodies and the sex you see in porn is not real life.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

lol... i reckon just leave him alone. There is much worse things he could be doing. All guys watch porn and if they say they dont they are lying! lol! U need him to know u trust him. I was kicked out...moved out all before 16 because of my mum not trusting me. honestly i couldnt think of anything worse to live with. Not having a parents trust is horrible

[Trish]

Ahhh welcome to my life. And the the life with teenage boys.

You and try yelling and screaming. You can try confiscating it. You can try barring it. You can try them all and none of them will work. The only thing I haven't tried is sitting down watching it with them

There are many things that I have read and seen many things that I don't necessarily approve of. However they are teenage boys and I have never been one

I think the best thign you can do personally is keep all lines of communication open and be prepared to talk about such things if you are approached. My eldest will talk quiet freely with me about sex and other such things and I would far rather that then be ignorant to it all. A couple of years back I even bought him condoms and put them in his christmas stocking. I would rather he have them for just in case times.

Dragonstorm

9.confiscate any porn found and send it to me. ROFLMAO

PMSL I did that one. OK didn't sent it to you. But we watched it ourselves Joel found it and took it back. LOL.

[2girlz]

aaaaahh porn can't live with it can't live without it haha
I reckon let him be BUT maybe get DH to discuss the boundaries there is a lot of things that should never be seen and to be honest is quiet disturbing and Degrading to women. I also agree with letting him know that it's fantasy.
I don't have to worry about boys and porn just girls and pregnancy

[paradise lost]

Sitting down and watching it with him, or at least if you find it, taking it and watching it and leaving it with YOUR stuff at least demystifies it all. I mean, how much of a thrill is it watching exciting porn your MUM AND DAD got busy to!? Bleurch!

Bx

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I really think that either you or DH should talk to him about it. The problem with porn is that it's completely unrealistic and he needs to know that; most women don't look like porn actors and the sex acts themselves that are portrayed in porn aren't realistic either. Porn makes the woman into a sex object with no desires or personality or feelings of her own, her soul purpose is the sexual gratification of the man. Porn is degrading to women and because of that, has been directly linked to negative attitudes about women, and also to rape, in many studies. Several studies have shown that after looking at pornography, the men surveyed felt increased hatred towards women, and expressed more misogynistic attitudes. You can't really stop him from looking at porn, but you can at least explaint to him (you or DH) why it's unrealistic and NOT a good thing to model sex upon. Also, some porn is worse than others; it's far less damaging for a person to read a playboy than to watch a hardcore porn DVD.

[beckles]

Hi, I have a 13 yo boy too, i have to say i disagree with the porn being ok for adolescents. As a family we have a book on puberty from the family planning clinic and it such a great tool for the kid and parents. there is a section on porn in it i found fantastic. it discusses that porn can be addictive and that whilst growing into your skin and sexuality it doesn't allow for the normal and natural progression of sex. at 13 it is perfectly normal and should be that boys and girls begin becoming sexual - this is in the form of masturbation and discovering their bodies, then it proceeds into a relationship with another learning about the opposite sex (or same sex), flirting, dating and eventually becoming mature enough for a sexual relationship. It has the theary that porn tends to tilt this natural progression of sexuality out of whack and can be very harmful to the adult sexual being. Porn tends to be very one sided, eg the girl does anything the boy wants with the main goal of satisfying the man, as adult men & women, we all know this is certainly NOT the case but through the eyes of an adolescent, it can seem like it is. when adolescents watch alot of porn they may find it screws with their wiring, the sexual urge is in the 'old brain' so it is based alot on instinct.... see graphic naked picture/s, get horny, release. instead of using the 'new brain' and seeing a girl/boy they like, feeling flustered, building up the courage to talk to the girl/boy, flirting, entering a relationship, kissing, touching/getting horny, finding out what each like, trust, then entering into a sexual relationship. This 'marries' the old and new brain into a sexual being, still having the instinct but able to use communication to have a relationship with the other. i think porn is fine for the fully formed sexual adult but can be damaging to young minds. because we all read about it and then did some further reseach we decided that it was not a good idea for our boys to see porn at such an impressionable age. perhaps you could get the book and ask your guy to have a read of it.
good luck
beckles

[christy]

I have to agree beckles... it seems that a lot of guy friends I had who liked to read porn had a much harder time finding longer term partners with whom to explore and learn new things together, so they would try things the girls didn't want, causing issues... or they wouldn't be able to develop relationships through steps.

[Floweryfields]

Hi, I have a 13 yo boy too, i have to say i disagree with the porn being ok for adolescents. As a family we have a book on puberty from the family planning clinic and it such a great tool for the kid and parents. there is a section on porn in it i found fantastic. it discusses that porn can be addictive and that whilst growing into your skin and sexuality it doesn't allow for the normal and natural progression of sex. at 13 it is perfectly normal and should be that boys and girls begin becoming sexual - this is in the form of masturbation and discovering their bodies, then it proceeds into a relationship with another learning about the opposite sex (or same sex), flirting, dating and eventually becoming mature enough for a sexual relationship. It has the theary that porn tends to tilt this natural progression of sexuality out of whack and can be very harmful to the adult sexual being. Porn tends to be very one sided, eg the girl does anything the boy wants with the main goal of satisfying the man, as adult men & women, we all know this is certainly NOT the case but through the eyes of an adolescent, it can seem like it is. when adolescents watch alot of porn they may find it screws with their wiring, the sexual urge is in the 'old brain' so it is based alot on instinct.... see graphic naked picture/s, get horny, release. instead of using the 'new brain' and seeing a girl/boy they like, feeling flustered, building up the courage to talk to the girl/boy, flirting, entering a relationship, kissing, touching/getting horny, finding out what each like, trust, then entering into a sexual relationship. This 'marries' the old and new brain into a sexual being, still having the instinct but able to use communication to have a relationship with the other. i think porn is fine for the fully formed sexual adult but can be damaging to young minds. because we all read about it and then did some further reseach we decided that it was not a good idea for our boys to see porn at such an impressionable age. perhaps you could get the book and ask your guy to have a read of it.
good luck
beckles

Yep I agree - there is nothing natural about porn, women are not like that in real life, sex is not like that in real life, bodies are not like that in real life - it is not realistic, it is addictive and it isn't something that anyone should be encouraged into especially teenage boys.
Girls have such a lowered standard already, porn only gives boys permission for that standard to continue lowering.

[*MRS M*]

i know the feeling my soon to be 13 son got court with naked girls on his usb at school today and he got 2 day suspended
sarah

[diannescruffy]

Hi Sarah,
Hopefully the suspension will have taught him a lesson. After DS's episode there has been no further problems. Peer pressure is a big thing also. Hope it all works out for you.

Regards,
Dianne

[Me+him+bub]

i wouldnt have a clue! but i would want to know if my son was, i wonder if this mate of his who has the dvd, if his parents know, as after all it is illegal for children under 18 to watch and be in possession of those movies. i think i would bring it to their attention, but thats just me, good luck!