Great suggestions, I think calmbirthing would be great. If you are anxious or stressed in labour, your body will produce adrenaline which counteracts oxytocin, the labour hormone - a flight or fight reaction. Now in caveman days this was very useful - it would stop the labour so the labouring mother could go somewhere safe when she felt threatened. But today, if labour slows or stalls due to anxiety or whatever, they look to the mother and call it failure to progress. They dont look at the circumstances of the mothers care as to why this is happening or any existing conditions she has. So up goes the drip, the need for an epi to cope most of the time (esp if your first) and then possibly assisted delivery if you don't push effectively enough.
I actually know one of the doulas you have met, I know her extrememly well and she is the most gorgeous, generous and kind woman, who would have only been thinking of helping in this circumstance. Perhaps the anxiety you are feeling is clouding how you feel on this topic. I know she would never force or persuade people to have a homebirth or whatever, she would have only tried to let you know based on her vast experience that what goes on at that place. If you are not interested in finding out these things, perhaps you need a doula who will just agree with everything and not play an active role in advocacy, just being there to hand hold etc. When you are a doula and see things over and over again, it is very hard to not tell a client, because you genuinely care for their wellbeing, you want them to be prepared and consider options if its highly unlikely she will not get the birth she wants with the choices she makes.
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