So many birth questions, need your wisdom.

[Kazbah]

I had my Pip in a private hospital, and it was a vaginal birth

For pain relief, I had a TENs machine - in short, its an electrode you put on your back, and you have a control for it, run on 2 "aa" batteries. When you feel the start of a contraction, you press the button and it puts a little pulse through the muscles in your back, and the tingling there distracts you from the pain. I used it up to about an hour before the actual delivery - and only stopped then cause I hopped in the bath for about an hour! Well worth hiring in my opinion.

Good luck

[~Raven~]

But also be mindful that those lovely midwives may not be on shift when you are in labour?

Good point Lucy!

[Trillian]

I forgot to say earlier to get a copy of The Pink Kit - essential for you to learn to know all there is to know about your vagina so you can learn to trust it to do the job it's meant to do.

[Steffi]

Thanks so much everyone for all the great advice. Belly Belly i am sorry if i offended your doula friend in any way. I found her to be the best actually and was mainly referring to two other doulas i had spoken to that i found very pushy. I will not name names of course. I do have extreme levels of anxiety and i guess i was looking for some one to support my decision and help me along. I guess it's just my anxiety and the thought of not being within reach of pain relief and someone that will know what to do in the situation that i have a panic attack scares the jeepers out of me. To be honest i haven't given birth before but have been in situations before that required me to stay calm during and i had the most terrible panic attack of my life that went on for more than 6 hours. By that time i was ready for them to shoot me and the only thing that calmed me was being in the hospital and knowing that someone could help me and have meds on hand if i found i couldn't cope. It's hard to understand unless you have been in that position. I would love to have a completely natural birth and am certainly going to try and will certainly stand up for what i want but need to feel the reassurance of someone that knows what they are doing and that every avenue is covered if i need it. I am a pushover let me tell you and get easily confused. I have spent alot of time and research and years coming to the decision to have a baby and its hard for me to just abandon that and go with a birthing unit with the possibility of being transferred to a hospital last minute that i have had bad experiences with before. Im sorry, but i need the security that everything is available to me in order to relax. I hope you understand. I didn't ever mean to diss any doula in particular and am just a confused wannabe mum trying to get support.

[Steffi]

Thanks so much to all the wise mums that have given me advice. I will definately look into calm birthing and hypno birthing and get hold of those books and The Pink Kit. Where do i get The Pink Kit from?
I am so terribly confused but really appriciate your advice and can't thank you enough.

[Lucy]

Steffi,

The other thing to bear in mind is this: once you have concieved, you then have at least 7 or 8 months to "get to grips" with things!

I was a bit freaked out at "the how the hell do I go about giving birth" bit for ages, then once I fell pregnant, I calmed down about it a lot, did a lot of reading, asked a lot of questions, and things did feel like the feel into place in my head over the course of the pregnancy........

[Steffi]

Thanks Lucy
I wonder if it's such a big thing with other women as it is for me (anxiety about giving birth).
I mean i'm sure most women are fearful to a degree but i have an extreme fear, so much so that i have put off having babies for 11 years.
I really want to have a baby and i'm sure after the first i will be ok.
Reading all the negative stuff i have done recently about obstetricians i am now getting fearful about them and the decision i have made and am finding myself retreating back to waiting again.
I know i just have to do it but i'm so scared.