Hi, I am new to this site and new to Brisbane. My history as my doctor describes it is "disasterous". His words, not mine. I have had 8 miscarriages including 2 ectopics (one resulting in the loss of a tube) and in August last year I lost twins, one at 20 weeks and the second one at 22 weeks. They were IVF twins so hard earned. I was living in London at the time and my partner was still in Australia as he was waiting for his visa to come through. As a result I went through the entire pregnancy alone with no friends or family. It was an extremely difficult time in my life but at the same time I was so excited to have got so far in the pregnancy and to be able to feel my babies kicking in my tummy. Fortunately my partner made it to the births which I was so grateful for.

I have just found out today that my first IVF cycle since the twins was unsuccessful. I am feeling so terribly alone at the moment. We are originally from Sydney but we moved to Brisbane when we were having the twins as I have some family about 2 hours away. So now we are in Brisbane with no friends or family. I am not working as we have decided that I should focus my energy on trying for a baby, Oh forgot to mention I also turned 40 in December. Yet another nail in the fertility coffin!! So after 10 years of trying I still dont have my babies to hold and keep me going through this difficult journey. Friends tell me it will happen but how do they know. All of my friends have children and none of them have ever had a miscarriage.

Fiona I know how you feel with the baby weight. Imagine carrying 2 babies to 6 months then having everyone ask you afterwards when the baby is due. I dont fit into anything anymore and it certainly doesnt help with the depression. I also had a fantastic career prior to the twins and now I can't go back to work as if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again then I have been told by docs that I cant work. So, I am in limbo for something that may never eventuate. Something I always said I would never do, but at my age what choice to I have.

It has been nice to find a website where I have some kindred souls. If anyone lives in Brisbane and would like to meet for coffee then please feel free to respond to my post. My heart goes out to all of you have had to experience the loss of a baby.

I look forward to hearing from someone.....