erybery.......the only way I can answer this is with complete honesty and openess.... It hurt like hell hun... I cried.... most of the day.... ugly cries... sobbing...I looked down at my arms and cried because I should have had one in each arm.... they should have been there.... but they werent.....all day I kept looking down at my arms..... sobbing......a thousand 'why me's"...........

one thing I will say is..... allow it to be whatever it is to YOU..... please please please... do not try and force yourself to 'skip over it'. Prepare for it... maybe organise so that you have time to yourself that day to be able to take the time. Its a non wonder woman day...... be sad, be cranky... be whatever... just be honest with what you are feeling and ALLOW yourself to feel it.....its the healthiest way to deal with it.

Ohhh I also have a song for them..... Avril Lavign..... I Miss You...... I play it every now and again... and sing it to them..... yes it brings tears everytime... but its my way of connecting to them.... I look up... and just sing it to them. Its coming up to 18months since they grew wings..... I have 2 grown boys...... well men really.....20 and 17 but..... I have 4 children, not 2 and Cameron and Krystal will ALWAYS be in my heart everyday and I love them all individually.