Hey everyone, computer is working again. Ive felt lost not being able to talk to people about it all.
Can i ask a question? Is it wrong for me to feel bad about my BIL's fiance being pregnant? I dont mean to be. I would never want anyone to feel this hurtful pain. Just wish i could be more happy for them.
So many post - you miss a couple of days and your way behind.
I hope everyone is well.
Another silly question here - ive never done the charting and temps and all that stuff. Can someone fill me in on the how?
oh Sunbeam - your calendar of sad days and finding out you were having a little girl has me choked up. She will come back to you - she will.xx
MissK - not such thing as silly questions. I haven't charted for years so there will be someone here who can give you a few links. And no, don't feel bad, you're not a bad person for having the feelings you're having because you are grieving. They will understand. Be gentle with yourself.
Hello Bons. I'm sorry your loss brought you here but glad you are finding some comfort in our conversations. I lurked for a while too before deciding to join in - sometimes you just need to wait til you're ready. I'm sorry for your loss.
KitF - I hope it's not much longer before you are pg again. Your Aunty is watching over you, of that I am sure. Thanks for your wise words. I was feeling way bad after I read back what I had written. My MIL has had two terrible losses - a still birth at full term and my BIL who committed suicide five years ago. What with her own losses, she's entitled to be as silent as she likes. She does care for me I know and I have a lovely mother of my own who has been a rock and is there for me whenever I need it so I've got nothing to complain about.
And LOL for your comment to Ferrals!
Hey Ric - I'm glad the snow is gone and the sun is out and I hope those kiddies don't wear you out too much. You're such a generous loving woman to take them on - they are lucky to have you. Maybe they want to see how your endo is? I hope everything is OK - I've had endo too - that's the main reason I can't conceive and have no tubes. Bloody horrible disease. Hope you get the all clear.
Crafty - lots of love to you for Sunday. I'll be thinking of you and I'm sorry that your daughter's birthday is mixed with this sadness and loss. Go the gizmo! I hope you and Ferrals and MurryCod and all the others are on your way to the BellyBuddy forums soon x
Hi everyone else
AFM - I'm off to the Sunshine Coast for the weekend - 'cept there's no sunshine there - boo! Will be fun anyway - I'm packing a rain coat. What's a bit of water! We've had nothing but rain up here since Christmas anyway and I'm too fat for my summer clothes so that makes packing easier! Looking forward to getting out my own backyard. No news of the pathology yet. I think he's forgotten to call us. Will try again next week. Have a great weekend everyone.
Bons darling, welcome to BB land!!! I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss, I hope that you have plenty of support at home, and are looking after yourself XX
I'm glad that you have been able to look over our posts, and crazy conversations, and feel comfort in knowing we all know how you feel, and what you are going through.
It is lovely that you felt comfortable enough to join in, so welcome, I hope we can make your journey a happier one XXX
Ferrals, hope your DH is ok, sounds like the week off will do him good. XX Enjoy the time together, hope you don't have a buisy roster this week!XX I will be judging my big 'O' same time as you, and I think I will get a naughty dance in, StPats day is comming up so I will be getting in the spirit..'to be sure to be sure!!' (that wasn't even funny was it?? Sounded better in my head than reading it out loud!XX
Sunbeam, so great to hear that both your appts wen't well, and that you feel happier working towards your goal. XX LMAO at the hands down the pants storie!!
And honey, your little girl will come back to you XX
Alice, have a great weekend away, well needed XX
MissK welcome back to the madhouse!! Darn computers hey!! Love them when they work!XX
TTCALC, hope you are getting time for yourself somewhere during your day!! Have to hand it to you, your a tough girl looking after all of those kiddies XXX
KitF, you are a wonderfull girl do you know that?!? What you said about your Aunt was so lovely, I do understand you wanting to fall PG again before she left though XX Huggs to you XX
Crafty honey..... happy birthday to your Darling DD, and I am also so sorry that your EDD has made it's mark tomorrow also. Work through it babe, be strong XX Beleive me though, easier said than done hey, I am sooooo having a crisis day today... tell you more shortly XX
Dory, glad to hear that you are starting to feel better XX Love to you XX
Now I have got the majority of my persies done, can I have a seriouse medium to huge meltdown now??
Friday13th of march last year was the day I miscarried my little bean. The last 2 week for me have been quite hard to bear, the thaught of 'what i was doing this time last year' was eating me up inside. Not to mention the Clomid depressive state I have fallen into, have been dizzy for the past 4 days and I can't sleep. Today was my last dose thank the lord.
My Darling DH went on a 'yabbie trip' with a few boys for the weekend and won't be home untill tomorrow night. I worked today, and have to tomorrow also. Which is prob a good thing, because I can't mope around the house!!
Today at work, one of my CLOSE girlfriends was working with me, and she decided to tell me, today of all days, that she is 14weeks PG.
I can remember this exact moment of 'SLAP' across my face in slow motion, the look on my face must of been a look of horror, not happiness for her.
The whole time I thaught she was supporting me through my IVF in Jan, the avoiding me lately thinking she was giving me space.
I hate that I feel so jealouse. I hate that I am not happy for her. I hate that I feel this way. And today, of all days.
OMG tomorrow hurry up because tody sucks.
Bons - Sorry you had to feel this pain. Its so unfair and horrible. I heard those horrible words on the 09/02/2010 and was induced on the 11/02/2010.
This has been the most horrible time in my life. Im glad we all have each other to talk to.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Murraycod - hugs. Im feeling jealous and no happeness at all for my BIL and fiance being pregnant. Thats exactly how i felt the other day. Big slap in the face. I keep thinking to myself. My time will come again. Soon ill see those pregnant lines that i so want to see. Try and have positive thoughts. Though its hard
Oh sunbeam - hugs. She will.
Hugs to everyone. Hope everyone is feelign better and good things are happening for all of us.
Sign me up for jealous. My SIL's pregnant.
They have 3 kids, DB lost his job a few weeks ago, swore to us that they weren't trying (they have soooo many issues and really need to concentrate on the kids they have). So. Not. Cool. Oh, oh AND my brother rang last night, didn't mention SIL was preg, but offered to send me their old pram when I FINALLY get pregnant. 1. Their pram is crap. 2. We can afford our own freaking pram when we need it. 3. Why ring me up to tell me about a pram and then wimp out on telling me SIL is preg? 4. Six months is a freaking blink of an eye when TTC. 5. Having another child to save a marriage is a stupid idea, especially when it didn't work the first 2 times. Unhappy does not equal TTC.
I just wanna knock that man out and give him a vasectomy. With the pram.
Sorry for the me post, will do persies tomorrow.
Hello to everyone though! Thinking of you guys xoxo
KitFaerie - Thats pretty crap! I felt pretty crap with the feelings im having but i guess im not the only one. They are pretty normal i guess. Doesnt make us feel any better though. Dont like feeling jealous. but i totally do and i think that my DH sister may be pregnant too and his other sister is having her lil son a few weeks befor my lil man was due. My other SIL - found out that they lost there lil one the day i found out i was pregnant. She was a few weeks.
Oh - Psychologist told me to take deep breaths to get all the negative thoughts out of our minds.
Thought id share this: was sent to me.
Understanding Loss - by Unknown Author
When I tell you that my heart still hurts,
You don't know what to say.
When I tell you that my eyes still cry,
You look the other way.
How could you know the pain I have,
And the sorrow that I feel.
For you haven't lost a precious child,
So for you, this isn't real.
I can't say that I blame you,
For I was once like you.
I would turn my head and walk away,
Not knowing what to do.
But now I know, Oh, how I know
What another Mother feels.
For only when you have lost your child,
Our shared pain is now so real.
This painful loss that bereaved Mothers share,
Brings us closer in our hearts.
Now when we meet and share our child,
We are Friends right from the start.
Last edited by MissK; March 13th, 2010 at 07:28 PM.
hey everyone, i just can't believe how much bad luck people that don't deserve it have to put up with. murraycod i can't imagine how you would feel to be told that your friend is 14 wks pg, and today of all days! and why does it seem like everyone else is pregnant, or gets pregnant (by accident) and then has a smooth pregnancy. sometimes i can't understand the way the world works. KitFaerie so not cool is an understatement. your brother seems like he wanted to tell you then chickened out. and to offer you their old pram seems like a double slap, sorry but i did smile at your comment "I just wanna knock that man out and give him a vasectomy. With the pram. "
Alice hope you get your test results back soon, i know if you wanted to get the chromosomes done they do take a few weeks, so not sure how long you have been waiting.
t-hopes i wanted to say you should try, if your body is not ready then it won't stick. that was my thoughts, as i didn't really get a proper af back before getting pg again.
GOOD LUCK to all ttc and those in the tww. i am really hoping there will be some good news for you soon x
sorry not many persies, just wanted to add a few comments. i can't believe some people sometimes. afm, i am still doing ok. i have another scan tuesday which i am slightly apprehensive about, but looking forward to.
Last edited by scarypinkfairy; March 13th, 2010 at 08:17 PM.
Hi everyone, hope you are all travelling along ok. Sorry I don't post much but it's so hard to keep up in here. But I do want to give you all big all the time.
I think i'm going ok at the moment, in that i'm coping alright. But having said that as soon as I think how far along I am meant to be it just hurts so much- so I just push it away and try not to think about it. Not sure whether thats the right thing to do or not.
SPF - so good to hear from you! have been thinking about you and hoped you and bubs were doing well, so great to hear you are! thanks for your comment to about trying again, your right and happy to say that we are TTC this month! Feel great about it, so much more relaxed than the past, just having fun with it and not letting it dominate my thoughts too much! keep us posted on Tuesday, youll be in my thoughts xx
murraycod - oh sweetheart, its hard news to hear huh, when someone close to you announces... you know you should be happy but that awful, pitted, sick feeling in your stomach when you hear the news, just seems to block out any happiness that should feel for them. dont feel bad for it, your human...we all completely understand! keep busy at work and only 1 sleep till DH comes home! xx
MissK - beautiful poem, thank you for sharing it with us x
Bons - welcome to BB, Im sorry that your journey has led you here but please know that we are all here for you. The warmth from the girls in here is truly amazing. They have turned my dark days into bright ones when I thought there was no hope. I pray, in time, we can do the same for you. It is something that we will never get over but we will get through. I also, found out our bubba was gone at our 12wk scan, those words I too, will never forget. Some of the best advice given to me from these girls was to be kind to myself, so I say to you Bons - Please be kind to yourself, you deserve it xx
crafty - glad AF is treatin you well, so she should after being so un-punctual!
ferrals - sounds like your place is shakin as much as ours at the moment from all the bdancin! Woop Woop! Giddy Up!!
Hi to everyone else, sorry not many persies... will post again soon!
AFM - Saw my chinese Dr yesterday and she said everything is sounding fabulous! She said my temps are text book! And finally got a positive ov test today! They have never worked for me b4 so im excited! wHOO HOO! I have my new herbs ready to start in 3 days to help if implantation occurs! The acupuncture is working a treat, soooo relaxed, I feel wonderful! Strange cause I had been dreading my due date month but im doing well.... so far!
Anyway ladies, Im going to go and get back to my books! Reading Twilight Saga for the 3rd time, im a die-hard Twi-Hard! Just finished watching Twilight again on DVD for the 150th time! Watched it that many times my DVD is wearing out!!!Cant see enough of it! heheh! Im such a dork, DH always teases me yet he is sitting on the couch watching it and he know the words off by heart too!! Oh Edward, what would I do without you!!!
xx
Last edited by T-hopes; March 13th, 2010 at 09:04 PM.
Welcome bons you have come to the right place, we all feel your pain and we will all be here to listen to you and give you all the support you need over the next months,
I too lost my bub at 12 wks 5days and tomorow is my EDD so I feel your pain at the moment, but I have met some wonderful girls on here who keep me focused and keep me going so you are very lucky to have found us !
Murraycod well I had my meltdown a few weeks ago and you were there to hold my hand and guide me through, I want you to know that I feel much better now and you will too, it just takes a little time and a lot of effort but you will feel yourself again real soon, I had a terrible time with feeling guilty but I am getting much better at not beating myself up about it now and I promise you will too very soon. I feel so bad telling you about the clomid as you have gone through all what I did at the time but hey I am here I got over it and so will you , FOCUS now on little H coming out of the freezer soon, you are already thinking the worst I know you are but you don,t know yet so give yourself the chance to be happy and positive and welcome the little frosty I will for you and will be waiting for you to bounce back again ! you are a special friend and I know you will be rewarded soon,
miss k its ok to feel like that we all do at times, wonderful poem thanks for sharing it !
kitfaerie you had me in stitches with the pram and the vasectomy what a picture I had in my head, thanks for that you made my day
scarypinkfairy so glad your ok be sure to pop back and let us know how the scan went,
Ferrals well I guess she is too busy rubbing ointment in her DHs roger ! and then riding off into the next week ! lets hope she gets chance to catch up on us all soon !
enjoy honey you little minx !
Thopes good news for you hope you get your BFP real soon !
AFM well I am doing ok guess I will feel better on monday when I get tomorow over with but like my DH says we can't change the past we can only look forward to the future and a BFP and pray the next one sticks, so thats what I will do look forward and with a smile on my face ! AF has left now so onwards and upwards day 5 tomorow on my CBFM so wonder when I get to POAS oh you know I want too ! ok so its only for ovulation but hey its still exciting to be doing some kind of POAS don't you agree ! don't tell them I am a POAS addict ( well we all are )
Murrycod-you were on my mind yesterday i hope the day was over without to much pain it is hard to think back to what we were doing at this time last year and then to think a whole year has passed and still no BFP makes it even worse i hope you feel better today.
Bons-welcome to our little or should i say big group of fab gals we are a great support for each other.
Kit faerie-Jealous is my middle name at the moment there have been 14 babies born around me since we lost Abbi so enough is enough it's our turn now.
MissK-lovely poem.
SPF-good to hear you are doing ok good luck with your scan.
T-hopes-herbs yuk! we have heaps to take and havn't even started fertility herbs yet that will be after our 3 months detox unless we get our BFP before then.
Crafty-thinking of you today and happy Bday to your DD you should be able to poas for your CBFM tomorrow mine was day 6 last month and this month i got low readings for a few days then high for 3 days and peak for 2 days then went back to high for one day and then back to low.
Hello to everyone i hope you are all having a relaxing weekend.
AFM- Not real great at the moment 3rd day of high reading on CBFM so don't expect to get a peak until tue/wed but to be totally honest DH and i havn't gone all out we are just BDing when we feel like it maybe when i get my peak reading we will go for it but i have been feeling a bit low we have been busy helping with my nieces 18th Bday party it's a fancy dress black and white theme my DH is sercurity for the night as that is what he does for a living and use to work one of the roughest pub's on the central coast (the beachcomber hotel) so has thrown many d##kh##ds out and has been a bit of a brawler in his younger days so my sister want's him to stop the gate crashers.
I have been shopping for presents and decorations we got her a necklace of her name like carrie off sex and the city its beautiful but it doesn't seem to matter how busy i am keeping myself i still keep thinking it is also Abbi's Bday on the 20th so how do i enjoy my nieces Bday when it was the worst day of my life i should be buying presents for my girl and party decorations for her Bday i don't know how i am going to be i have to be ok for my sister and niece i can't ruin her day.
Well i have rambled enough i am sorry that todays post was not very positive i think i have waited long enough and have endured enough pain for a lifetime i am starting to lose hope that i will ever see those 2 magical lines again i have even lost my desire to plan my cycle this month don't really care when and if we BD i don't think it will work anyway.
Hey guys i called her on friday ( the Gyn) and Well i go back in for surgery on April 22nd for another LAP so they can check everything again and see what is going on and she said my White blood cells are lower then they should be.. I havent talked to my GYN since ron did his Sperm test and she called and saing your going back for surgery im like for what and she explained since ron was all normal on everything thaty she wanted to chk my tubes and they were chedcked b4 and they were open but she wants to make sure there is no more cyst since that last one showed that i did and the gyn took them off.. and come to find out my pap smear was abnormal and when i moved i never called them to let them know my new number.. Well since she got all my records from my old GYN she noticed that the results came back abnormal so she wants to check into that..
So we will see what she says then.. wanted to give u a update BUT honestly i feel prego again its been almost 3months on the 29 of this month since i lost the lil one last time..
BUT i feel soooo prego so im going to wait till april and see if i start..
See
I lost the baby on Decd 29 then had my first cycle on Jan 29 bleed for 45 days and also on Feb 25 but only bleed for 2 days on my 2nd cycle i NEVER go for 2 days..so im assuming if i dont start by april 3rd then i might be prego but im NOT saying nothing to anyone in my family or getting my hopes up till i know for sure everything is going to be alright..
I feel soo bad for not being in here but with 5 kiddos with me i keep busy i get exhausted faster then usually but im enjoying every min with the kids!! i love them all like my own!!
Ron does HELP out alot and let me get naps in between cause i been getting exhausted faster now..
I will get back in her and chat with ya all soon..
Much love and hugs to you all
Thanks soo Much for sharing the poem ..
you all our in my thoughts and i wish you all the best of luck!!!
Hi girls - just here to tell you that a warrior walks among you! I rode my bike up Mt Coot-tha today and I am feeling just a little bit invincible. I stopped a couple of times, but I got up there! I'm in the middle of my TWW, and I'm pretty sure that this cycle is not the one, so I was thinking to myself "If I can't get pregnant I will at least get skinnier...at least get skinnier...at least get skinner..." and that became my mantra as I spun those legs up that endless hill. I did it!
How are we all? I've ben reading, but too lazy/busy/boring to post!
TTCALC - tricky. I hope your body sorts itself out. No wonder you are exhausted though, with those 5!
crafty - total POAS addict. I'm pretty sure that admitting you have a problem is the first step Hope you only have to do it a few more times! But I know you won't stop just cos you're pregnant. You will be doing it through your whole pregnancy, I can just tell!
T-hopes - good news from your chinese dr! I never ever ever get positive opks. I don't know why. O shows on my chart, and I have a MB that it shows on, but I fail when it comes to those sticks. So I am super proud of you for getting a positive one! Here's to the next positive test, hey?
Kit - could have cried for you. My SIL will be trying for #2 soon and I will die, just DIE if she is pg before me. Our EDD was the same week as her DS's b'day. Worse still for you though is the circumstance. That bites, hun.
Bons - welcome. Sorry to hear about what you have had to endure. We've all got a little bit of strength to give you; please post your thoughts - these girls have a lot of wisdom to help you through.
And murraycod... my dear darling woman. My heart just sinks for you having to face that. And of all days. Hope you made it through and are now gorging yourself on enormous yabbies. (don't tell the vegans I said this, but YUM!)
The old job I resigned from - they finally contacted me. To invite me to the baby shower of the pg colleague that left me collapsed under the desk in tears. Ummmm.... no thanks. That place stressed me out so much - even talkign to them on the phone I could feel my spine becoming tense. Avoiding further contact.
The weather is cooling down now, which is a reminder that it's coming up to 12 months since we started ttc. It hurts a little bit, but in another way it feels very calming and peaceful. Everything's going to be OK. No matter what happens. Right, girls?
Spot on Snugglybean - we will all be ok!!! And good on you for getting out there and active... i need to find myself some of that... ah whats it called again?? Ah yeah MOTIVATION! Been sitting on the couch right next to my beautiful treadmill all weekend! Ah i need to get up off this rump of mine!
Snugglybean, thanks sweetheart XX Your right, things will be ok, we just have to get through the odd crappy day and dust ourselves off. Well done for completing that bike ride woohoo!! (yabbies for tea tonight!!)
Ferrals, .......sigh.......this week is going to be a tough one for you I know it.
I found, that it wasnt the actual day that was the hard part, but the couple days leading up to it. Will be here for you anytime my friend X
Crafty, I once told you in a PM I think, I imagine you as a mother figure in my life, not because you are older than me, I dunno why, just the things you say to me sometimes is what I would want my mother to say to me, if I spoke to her. So thank you. Can't wait to see how this CBFM works for you!! POAS is way addictive, I'm a closet one, my DH has no idea!!!! I even have gone to the extent of having to stuff the empty box and used stick into the middle of the rubbish in the outside bin so he doesn't bust me!!! I am having an affair with a PeeTest!!!!
TTCALC, hope you sort things out!
THopes, OMG OMG OMG!!!! Twilight was on Austar last night so I watched it TWICE!!! Oh, Edward just do her already!! Am sooo in looooove!!!!!
Em, bigg huggs to you right back honey XX As Snuggly said, things will be ok XXXX
SPF, nice to hear from you darling, glad things are going ok, let us know how your scan goes XXXXX
AFM, had to work with my 'Pregnant' Friend today, and TBH, is was ok. We are such good friends to eachother, she is very black and white like me, so there was no bullcrappers going on, she knows how i feel, and she will be there for me when I get Harvey thawed, so we will be ok. Mabey when she finally starts telling everyone and it is the 'Big Talk' on the ward and it is all I ever hear about, it will start to get to me, but for now, I will try to be there for her....as jealouse as I am!!!
My DH is such a darling, I told him about it over the phone last night and he told me that i would be giving her the same suprise in 3 1/2 mnths, so that perked me up a little.
DH always thinks so positive, dunno where he gets the energy from, I really don't, because sometimes I can't be bothered trying to convince myself that things will be ok, when deep down I know they wont.
HAHAHAHA ME TOO MURRAYCOD!! THe first one finished at 10.29pm so i just flicked it to Showtime 2 at 10.30pm and watched it again! DH just rolled his eyes at me!!!! Oh I have the major love bug too!!! He is soooo dreamy!! I went and saw his new movie - Remember Me on Thursday night... THere were 15y/olds everywhere! I just hid up the back with another friend! !!! So excited for Eclipse to come out soon!! Countin down the sleeps!!! Gets my mind off life so its good!!!! Just takes me away to my own little world
Sorry I don't post in here much, I have a hard time keeping up in here, but I am here reading everything. I just want to give you all big hugs all the time!
No news from me, I am on CD 20, and 10DPO, have had the usual phantom symptoms...8 more days till I break out the sticks and get my P'er in action
Darn computers hey!! Love them when they work!XX
The acupuncture is working a treat, soooo relaxed, I feel wonderful! Strange cause I had been dreading my due date month but im doing well.... so far! 
Oh Edward, what would I do without you!!!
for you and will be waiting for you to bounce back again ! you are a special friend and I know you will be rewarded soon,
don't tell them I am a POAS addict ( well we all are )
Hope you only have to do it a few more times! But I know you won't stop just cos you're pregnant. You will be doing it through your whole pregnancy, I can just tell!
Ah i need to get up off this rump of mine!
Am sooo in looooove!!!!!
So excited for Eclipse to come out soon!! Countin down the sleeps!!! Gets my mind off life so its good!!!! Just takes me away to my own little world 
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