Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage/Loss July 2009

[Sunny Love]

Welcome back Superstar mumsy.......I mean....Im happy you have more strength now!! Good luck this cycle

Bit of catching up to do with the posts....at work right now tho

BBL but have a good Saturday everyone......carn West Coast!!!

[eliselouise]

Hey everyone hope you have all had a good weekend
Givenuphope, that must be a hard situation to be in with your DH not wanting to TTC. I would suggest trying to talk to him and let him know that as hard as it is losiing a pg it is even harder for you to not try again. Hopefully he will come around shortly and you can get on your way to a H&H pregnancy
toomanyshoes that sounds really hard and awkward with DH family treating you the way they are, if that was me being told to have my tubes tied i would say thanx for your opinion and concern but its my life and my body and i will make the decision that is right for us. As for being scared of getting a BFP i think we all feel that way and it will always be in the back of our mind when we do fall pg but i suppose we just have to stay positive and keep our fingers crossed that it is a healthy one
ferals the waiting would be so hard and i think you must be a very strong person to do it. Hopefully your IVF doctor can give you a bit more of an idea on how long away it is when you go and see him/her
Superstarmumsy its good to see that you are feeling strong enough to come back on here and i think you have every right to be angry at the people telling you not to try this month, it is none of their business and you should ttc when you are ready to
Anilla hope you are feeling better today
Coco feel free to vent any time you need it will make you feel a little better to get it all out. It can be extremely frustrating and upsetting being around pg people. That is one of my biggest worries at times. I have quite a few friends who are at the stage were they may start trying to have a family and i just think it would crush me if i was to find out that they were pregnant before me, i know it sounds silly but its quite natural in our cases i think. Keep your chin up and hopefully youll get your BFP very soon
zstar hopefully the pains in your ovaries are implantation pains and good luck with getting through this week and hopefully there will be some exciting news at the end of the week
Hello to everyone else i have missed and good luck to all the girls in the TWW
AFM no news to report still waiting for normal AF to come back. Have had a good weekend, had a win in netball yesterday then went and seen my step sister and her 5 month old girl (too cute) and then db took me out for dinner last night.
Talk soon

[Cherished]

Hello to all of my special old friends and the girls who I don't know who I am sure will be my new friends... I am back after a few weeks away from BB and I haven't looked back through any posts (sorry). The break has been wonderful and I have only been concentrating on loosing weight (which is also going slowly but I am really happy to be sticking with it). I am generally feeling pretty good mentally but I don't think that is going to hold out much longer when this dam af stops and we are ttc again.... I think that if I don't get pregnant and 'keep' the baby etc etc I am just going to loose my mind So far I have managed to block off all of my feelings about it and generally not think too much about the losses but when I start 'wanting' to be pregnant again and am trying if it doesn't happen quickly I just don't know how I will cope. I'm sure you all know what I am talking about....

So my stupid body has pretty much been spotting non stop since the mc! I thought I was now having AF and that it was coming to an end by the time I went to bed last night but it seems to be getting heavier again this afternoon... "Lord I just want it to stop"!!! I am sooooo sick of it and I want to make love to my dh! He has been so patient and loving I am so lucky...... For the girls who had a natural mc please check out my chart and tell me what you think and please let me know if you had an experience like this? My temps are also all over the place, I thought that it was great that I had a temp drop during af but then it went back up again???

I hope you are all well and please let me know if I have missed and BFP's?

[josh'smum]

Hi ladies,

This is my first ever post, altough I have been following your threads for a little while. Its amazing how refreshing it is to hear that I am not alone with some of the feelings that I have been having.
Hopefully I am in the right place to post my story.
I miscarried our second child in December 2008, our first, a healthy boy is now 2 and a half. After my D&C in December my cycle is still irregular and we have had no success TTC in the past 5 months. I want to be pregnant again more than anything, and I feel as though TTC is consuming my life. I have bought a OPK so hopefully this month I will at least know the right time.

A lot of my friends are pregnant and I find it hard to be genuinely happy for them, of course I pretend to be; but it is unlike me to be envious like this. My sister and her husband have just decided to TTC and I have this overwhelming need to be pregnant before her. Hopefully this is the month. I keep telling myself that my body isn't ready yet, but how long can I keep telling myself that?

[Sunny Love]

yay welcome back cherished goddess!!

[Sunny Love]

Josh'smum.......we both sound like we are in a VERY similar boat. I too have had irregular cycles since my d&c in March 09 and have been TTC ever since, but with no luck. DH and I both feel an incredible desire to have a child, and yet are having some time achieving that when most of our friends are SO fertile its ridiculous! I feel TTC is life consuming and am trying to 'chill' this month. In saying that i'll still be devo'd when I get the BFN at the end of my cycle! I wish it was easier for us! I also understand the feeling of wanting to get pregnant before someone else, I feel it too

Hope your short stay in here is comfortable and supportive!

[Cherished]

Oh Sunny, I love you my little ray of sunshine

Eliselouse & Superstarmumsy by beautiful belly buddies so sorry to see you guys in here but very happy that we are here to support each other, I'm so sorry I havent' been around and I am so sorry for your losses

ferrals sweetie it sounds like I have missed a lot BIG HUGS to you honey

josh'smum I think we all feel the same way about others having bubs and being pregnant... I don't even want to look at them let alone talk to them! A client would have had her bub over the last couple of weeks and I just don't want to know about it, She told me she was pregnant a month after we had started trying... she has her baby and I have lost 2 OPK's are very helpful as is charting on fertility friend... goodluck

Anila & Coco I will come back over to the other thread when I have stopped feeling so crappy... right now I think I just need to vent and feel sorry for myself over here, it's all just too raw to be my normal cheerful self iykwim... if you are reading this though I've missed you xoxo

zstar, toomanyshoes, DON'Tgiveuphope & everyone else I felt like Iwas missing you out so wanted to give you BIG HUGS too

[josh'smum]

Thanks Sunny and Cherished for your reply and welcoming me to the thread.

I'm normally very positive about TTC except for that dreaded time between conception and AF. The not knowing for me is the worst bit, unfortunately then AF comes and then I just start planning my fertile days for the following month, as I said I am consumed with TTC. Being at home with a toddler gives me plenty of time to think about it- and then I get feelings of guilt that I am not completely satisfied with what I already have.

This week I am having a blood test and a pelvic ultrasound just to make sure that my body has recovered. They are checking hormone levels, cysts and fibroids. Hopefully that is all ok, if not at least I am aware of any issues and we can start correcting them.

Fingers crossed for everyone this month

[coco1411]

Hi all..

My DH's other best friend's wife just told me they are pregnant. She is 4 weeks. I know they've been trying for a year so I took the news waaaaaay better than the other friend but just now, I just hyperventilated after having a cry.

I can say I am happy for her genuinely, but I guess having to have the operation on thurs, and not being 27 weeks pregnant like I should be, is bringing out alot of my emotions about it all.

It's been 2 yrs this oct TTC. I know people have tried longer, Im not being insensitive to them, but to me, this is just pure agony and I am getting so depressed about it and I am sick to death of making a joke out of it and putting on a farce.

My sister just wrote a prayer for me which made me realise that she knows me too well when she spoke about me making light of things..

Dear Dad,(god)

As you know, my sister Mel and her husband Anthony have been trying for over 2 years to have a baby, you also know they have had one pregnancy that lasted 7 weeks. I thank you that we did get to see a heartbeat!! That in itself was a pure miracle.

Lord, I pray you will bless them with a successful pregnancy. Is not 2 years enough? I know it is your will for them to have a child, but as Mel and Ants little sister and best friend, I don't want them to hurt anymore. Especially Mel.

She feels like crying when she see's a pregnant woman, she looks away from young babies. She acts strong and just smiles it off, but she forgets how well I know her, I know she is hurting, and somehow it hurts me as well. I guess it's because someone I love so dearly somehow has to go through this, and I feel like there's nothing I can do.

God that's where you come in. Please, please bless them with a pregnancy, I pray it will be healthy and successful, and they can bring a new life into our world.

I want to see my sister genuinely happy. I love her so much and I want her heart healed, and another heart beating inside her.

I love you.

Amen.

Hope everyone's heart heals soon xxx

[India's Mum]

Hi All

I have been reading a lot of recent posts regarding pregnant friends and relatives and some negative feelings from them and towards them. I thought I might share my experience to show the other perspective.

When we recently visited my DH's family OS in May I was still pregnant. MY SIL had been trying to conceive via IVF for over a year and I knew the pregnancy might be difficult for her to hear. We decided to tell all his family anyway as I would be almost 10 weeks when we stayed at their house and I couldn't drink or eat certain things and had a distinctly rounded belly. We were also then able to share the news in person rather than from Australia.

To prepare them I told her via email ahead of time that we had been TTC so it wouldn't be too big a shock. Throughout her IVF I had tried to be supportive but it's hard to know what to say when I have only met DH's brother and his wife once before and only correspond every couple of months via email or brief phone calls.

When we actually made the announcement we told only the brother first to see if he felt his wife were up to hearing it and also so that he could tell her rather than us making a big happy announcement when it seemed inappropriate.

Despite all these measures, she was indeed hurt and the visit was immensely uncomfortable and stressful for everyone involved. I later heard that all DH's immediate family were unhappy with the news. My MIL told my inlaws she found it hard to be happy for us when she wanted it so much for them. I was devastated to hear that. To not be happy about her own grandchild in unthinkable to me. Sure, be concerned about the feelings of others not so fortunate but to actually not be excited about the baby already on the way is strange to me. I was not having a baby INSTEAD of her. I did all I could think of to "share" the news with them and not rub it in their face.

Consequently, when I lost the baby on the last day before we flew home, I found it immensely difficult to accept the comfort and sympathies of DH's family. I felt my poor baby had been unwanted by those I expected to love it as I did. If I should be so fortunate as to conceive again I would not feel comfortable sharing the news with them. It's quite likely they wouldn't know about any baby until it was born.

I think after a loss your feelings are so raw that everything strikes a nerve. I really don't think most pregnant people are "smug" about their pregnancies. Anytime I heard of a miscarriage whilst I was pregnant meant a sleepless night because I would be so worried it could happen to me. It's also really hard as a pregnant person to know what to say to someone who has suffered a loss. Any genuine words of comfort you offer can often be overlooked in place of the big belly you are sporting.

Being pregnant, like suffering a loss, is a very stressful time, just in different ways. A harsh word while I was pregnant would cause days of weeping behind closed doors. It would be a shame to see people lose friendships over misunderstandings when you are experiencing different situations.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with this but I think it's important for us not to live in a vacuum and not see everything as only relating to our loss.

[Cherished]

Coco your sisters poem/prayer is lovely

[zstar]

hello to all

welcome back cherished and welcom josh'smum.

i have been lurking around the last 3 days. can't believe some of the things i'm reading about family experiences. just shocking. we are all going through enough and then you girls have to deal with insensitive sil's, mil's, gf's ect. things like this can damage a family unit forever. very sad for all.

afm - trying to stay calm. should know in 2 days if i'm pg or not. my gf goes in to have her eggs taken out today and then the transfer back in on thurs. it is their 3rd ivf attempt. i'm starting to worry already if i am pg and she isn't or if she is and i'm not. the whole situation is just crap. whatever the outcome i so hope it is the same for both of us. i love her so much and i don't want our relationship to be strained. i have done very well to not buy a hpt this month but i'm not sure if i can get through the day without getting one. i'm really not up for the devestation of a bfn. i know it has only been a year this month that we have been trying and there is so many more of you that have been through sooo much more than me but at times i wonder where i will get the strength and courage to go on - it just came to me when i was typing that - I WILL GET IT HERE FROM ALL OF YOU!

[maddison]

SammyP i totally see what you are saying. As much as i feel jealous when someone close to me gets pregnant, i cant not feel happy for them. I think one of the biggest lessons this forum gives us is that we dont always know what people have been through to get pregnant. Not everyone talks about it and even some people lie about it. And i know i will be so hurt if my friends and family distance themselves from me when i have good news to share.
And i also understand that some people only care about themselves and have no tact at all. So sometimes it is hard to be around these people.
I have a few friends that have suffered losses or been TTC for over 2 years and i know when its them i will be overjoyed and supportive and i hope that when its me they will be the same.
A girlfriend of mine who lost twins recently told me many of her friends and even family had avoided telling her they were pregnant cos they didnt want to upset her and it hurt her even more hearing it second hand.
And i also thinks it is an important lesson for us all when we do get pregnant to be aware of the feelings of other people around us that will possibly feel upset and jealous the way we do now.

[Sunbeam]

Hi Gals,

Sorry I have not been around for a few days I guess I find it a little eaier in helping me cope with the TTW to take my mind off the whole thing as much as possible.

Cherished-glad to see you chatting again we've missed you. Hope you are feeling nice and relaxed atfer your break from BB.

Ferrals- How are you doing? Have you decide yet whether you will try naturally if you are going to have to wait so long, what an imposible decision.

Josh'smum and toomanyshoes- Welcome to our thread sorry you need to be here but I hope you find loving support here.

Zstar- did you cave and buy a test?

Anila, sunny, milly- any news, hints either way?

Superstarmumsy- glad you are back and in the TTW too.



I am in the usual TWW situation of thinking that I am just trying to think myself pg and imagining any slight twitch is a symptom, it's driving me nuts. Mostly I'm have to go with not pg but still clinging to hope. Donor daddy just called tonight to see when we are doing a test so its nice to know he's thinking about it too.

I can't really comment on all the family issues around pg as it's just me and my brother (and mum and dad) and my brother is not married and most of my friends are gay so not too many have kids. I work with one lady that is looking to adopt after 6 m/c and have my friend who is pg after TTC her second for 3 years after losing her daughter at 20 weeks. I can understand it would be hard to be faced with people getting pg all around but I seriously try to just focus on my life. That is their journey and I beieve that feeling bitter and resentful (obviously there will be a little jealously) is negative and will impact negatively on my own body and mind which I believe are stongly linked. Please don't take this that I am saying anyone is wrong for feeling what they feel, feelings are real and need to be acknowledged, I just believe that a positive attitude (as much as is humanly possible)is really important. Sorry if this sounds like a pep talk.

[TinaR]

Hi all,

wow, so much is happening in the last few days, I really need to try and get on here more often...Do you think they could put an extra hour in each day so I can?

Welcome to all our new ladies, I hope all your stays are short and you have sticky bundles very soon.

Sounds like there is alot of struggling going on in here lately hope everyone starts feeling better soon.

afm: I bit the bullet and went and saw my friend who is only 2 weeks diff to what was my due date. it wasn't fun but it wasn't as painful as I expected. She was good about not talking overly much so I asked some questions. She was concerned for me and hoping things work out soon.

I've been having some real weird body stuff going on the last few days. I know that from where I am in my cycle I can't be preg but I 'feel' like I am. I've got the uncomforatble feeling like my jeans are a size to small, I'm dead tired and stuff like that. I guess maybe I've put the feelings into my head or I'm run down from being back to 7 days a week at work.
I think I am entering the tww this week, not home so no bd except for wednesday when we get together. anyone be there with me?

Do we have any BFP's or those near testing time?

[Anila]

Anila, sunny, milly- any news, hints either way?

I have been reading but not really posting.
I am on cd22 today i tested, but i know its way too early, i keep telling my self that im pregnant, and will be so disapointed if it doesnt happen, i am positive about this month though.
Have a few things that could be symptoms, or just all in my head, will test again in 9 days.

[zstar]

hi

well i guess i have the good news this thread has been needing for a few days....tested this morning and . of course i am so happy but i am also sad. sitting here reading what we have and are going through i feel a bit bad i have come up with the bfp. you ladies have helped me more than you will ever imagine and most of you have gone through a lot more than i have. its all a bit weird this morning. dh is at work. i called him and he is happy but you can tell he is cautious. i'm sure this is our sticky bubba and i'm happy i will be preg on dh's bday next week and he can have a hard earnt beer after not drinking for the cause.

the tww's..sunbeam, sunny, anila and milly - i have everything crossed for you.

i'm a bit lost for words now. staying positive that this bubba will continue the distance.......

[Sunbeam]

Yipeeee what awesome news. Congratulations Zstar

Don't ever feel bad for having a BFP you deserve it just as much as anyone else.

Wishing you truck loads of

I'll be testing tomorrow