Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2007

[cheekyfrog]

Thanks Leyla for asking. Yes, the gloom is starting to lift. Not crying, just feel flat, particularly today. Possibly that's due to the anti-depressants that I started taking a few days after the d&c. Also have been able to catch up with DP and talk over how I'm feeling and the future, and he's said yes to trying again when I'm ready and once I've seen the f/s. He's said a few times since the m/c that he's starting to think its his 'swimmers' that are the problem. Anyway, I've started temping this morning. I thought I'd stopped spotting but there's still a little bit of discharge occasionally, looks like discoloured ewcm. (sorry, tmi!) I've been thinking I should also arrange to have a blood test sometime soon to check how much the hCG levels have dropped.

Good luck to all those in the TWW, waiting to O or for AF to arrive!

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Welcome Sacha. I am so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place for support. I think we all worry if we will ever have luck again and then if we do it we will all worry about another m/c. I've had two - one years ago (TTC for 8.5 years with my ex) and one recently (after 9 months TTC with my DF) so I am not confident about things working out for me in any hurry and my time is running out as I will be 41 this month.

Lee - I caved in this morning too - in the hope of some happy news for mothers day - and the test of course was a BFN.... as I pretty much expected. Repeat to myself... I will not test again unless I'm late.... I must make this my mantra.



My cramps have diminished over the last 24 hours and I've had some slight spotting today. The only one that remains is that I'm incredibly emotional. I am now convinced AF is on her way as I always spot before she arrives and the only time I didn't was when I conceived. I'm starting to think that all the "symptoms" I seem to experience in week 3 of my cycle might be getting caused by the hormone surge that comes with ovulation, only to disappear as I near my AF. I will be very interested to see what all my BT results show on Tuesday. Anyway, I will basically just wait for AF to arrive now as I'm sure I'm not pg.

My mothers day was a very emotional one. Burst into tears twice on my DF for no apparent reason today. I think it was just because I should have been celebrating it as a mum to be. My DF & I had breakfast out together, had a picnic on a mountain & an iceream as we walked along the beach. He went out of his way to make the day special for me. We also visited my mum in hospital and his grandmother as well. All in all a pretty good day.

I hope everyone got through today without too much sadness.

[Lee]

Hi ladies,

Well my news is that I was very surprised to see that AF showed up tonight. Not expected till next Wednesday, so a few days early. I guess my body is still re-adjusting after giving birth in March. My first AF was 15 April, and I normally have a longer than average cycle. So, here I am expecting to be late and hopefully UTD, and AF shows up early - assuming it is her. I have 2 children, aged 7 and 9, and with them and my latest pregnancy, I never experienced implantation bleeding. So, although I wish this is what it is, I'm not sure, but I don't think it is!! It's quite 'red' - and I understand implantation bleeding is more brownish, and not a heavy flow - any knowledge on this would be appreciated.

Ah, the journey to conceive is fraught with unexpected twists and turns...........

Satya - hang in there, you still have hope!! On Thursday I was having cramps (not painful, but enough for me to notice them) - and I was convinced these could be implantation - as I was 8 DPO. I'm now 11 DPO, so that's pretty early for AF would you think?

I'll let you know how the flow goes tomorrow!!

I got through Mothers Day - my 2 kids kept me wonderfully diverted from thinking too much about my baby boy who died in March. I only knew him for 18 hours, in a way, I wonder was he really here at all, taken before I even got to know him. I hate living in the land of "what ifs" - it's such a painful place to exist. I love my baby boy, but he's not here with me in the flesh. I love him, and have some lovely memories of him, and also some terribly painful and tragic memories too. I know I must keep looking forward to the future - and thats what we all must do - keep looking ahead and having HOPE that we will be rewarded with the thing we most desire.

And we do have HOPE, for sure.

Blessings to you all.

Lee xoxo

[Sharon19270]

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!

pash I couldn't knit if my life depended on it, so that is why I do scrapbooking, but even that can't take my mind off testing LOL
satya it is very weird us cycle buddies having similar symptoms, we can only hope. I was very good and DID NOT CAVE IN AND TEST, don't know how much longer I can hold out though, I am predicting that Wednesday will be the day I test, but at least I will be 12 dpo and not 9 dpo like last cycle. That was so sweet to get a mother's day gift from your SD.
sacha77 sorry to hear about your loss, I that all of us have the same fears as you, so you aren't alone, I know I often think that I may not get pg again, and also worry that if/when I do I will miscarry again, I honestly hope that you aren't in here for too long and they do say that it can be easier to get pg after a miscarriage.
Lee I am finding it increasingly harder not to test each morning, you just need to try and wait a few more days, if I can do it, anyone can! You can be strong! LOL just read your update, and I hope AF isn't here for you, but also wanted to let you know that I have had luteal phases of 9 days and 10 days, both only once though so 11 days isn't unheard of and I think it is really only a worry if it is less than 10 days.
jenjams I am very proud of myself for not testing. Yay on you getting your coverline, I have my :crosfingers: for you. Sorry, can't help you with any info on the cramping, let's hope it's something good.
Leyla hope that AF arrives for you soon so that you can get on with your next cycle.
kbowman I had the discoloured ewcm too, hope your body gets back to normal soon.
satya I really do hope that the spotting isn't AF on her way.

I had a lovely mother's day, dh tried to let me sleep in, but all I could hear Jordan saying for about 1/2 an hour was that he was "starving hungry" he wouldn't have any cereal because they where taking me to maccas for breaky so I ended up getting up at 9. We aren't into "big" mother's day pressies, feel it is way too commercialised, so I got a lovely note paper and envelope boxed set with a pen on a keyring (school mother's day stall) and a chrisanthumum (sp?) which I hope I don't kill (I have a terrible track record with plants) so it really was a nice day. I still don't have any symptoms that I don't normally have before AF, well all except a headache that comes and goes once or twice during the day for the last 3-4 days or so. Does anyone know (or experienced) headaches during early pregnancy?

[Inanna]

Big big hugs Bun :hugs:
I understand how you feel only too well... Something that helped me was that I made a picture board. I cut out pictures of pregnant bellies, birth pictures, newborn pictures. I even wrote a birth notice and put it up on the board. I wrote affirmations on the board too. "My body perfectly supports the healthy growth and development of this baby". "I am pregnant with a healthy baby". I put it on my bedroom wall and look at it every morning when I wake up.

The clomid has every chance of extending that LP and therefore you getting pregnant very soon. There IS much that can be done for recurrent miscarriage - there are drugs that have helped many of the BB women stick their precious babies. Remember though you are not in the recurrent miscarriage bracket. I hope that you never are.

It's great that you had no side effects and that your moods have been spared. On 150mgs I was the she devil let me tell you!!!! I have everything crossed for you Bun...

[cheekyfrog]

Salt Princess. Hope you're over your cold soon and that you catch the this cycle (now THAT would be an awesome birthday present!).

Hello Deb! Love the affirmations poster board idea

I'd also love to see five years into the future, Bun,*fingers crossed* for you this cycle, hope your BT on Thursday shows some good results for you.

Good news from your ob, Meg's Mum! I'll be so relieved if I get the thumbs up too on May 30.

Sharon, the only time I had implantation spotting and a big dip in temperature to go with it, it was like ewcm with a spot of pink and some strong cramps with it. Hope this is it for you!!

Hello Herbie, the relaxed approach sounds a good one. Hope you don't need to make that return appointment with your ob in a couple of months time unless it's because you've got a BFP

I've got my *fingers crossed* for you, Jenjams and Satya, for some good news at the end of your tww's. All sounding good so far!

Sorry af turned up for you, Lee, but that honeyoon bfp sounds perfect!

Hope af shows her face for you Leyla and that you catch the eggie next cycle!

Still getting discoloured ewcm here and looking forward to my cycle returning to normal, hopefully that will be sooner rather than later.

Big *waves* to anyone I've missed and lots of love xoxo

[jenjams]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Salt. Damn that cold keeping you down. I hope that Big O comes soon and you catch the egg.
Five years into the future for you too Kerry will be great as well!
Your babies will stick Bun and when this next one does, it will make it even more special.
Sounds all positive Megsmum.

I think girls we are due for a run of BFP's. its what we all deserve!

I am still having the cramping and have the nausea. This evening I felt like a kind of "stitch" on my right hand side lower. But hey if I keep talking myself into symptoms anything can happen! I just keep getting the feeling that spotting turning into AF is right around the corner.
But for everyone :

[satya]

Hi everyone,

megsmum - good luck with oing before your man goes away.

Bun - glad the clomid hasn't had any nasty effects on you. I hope it does it's job well for you.

Sharon - I think implantation spotting can be new or old blood, that's why I'm not sure if it's AF on her way or not. Like you I normally only get brown spotting so I'm hoping it's good news for both of us.

Herbie - a break sounds like a good idea for you. If I keep going the way I am I will need to do the same. I am obsessing about symptoms that are probably all in my head & my emotions are out of control.... maybe time for a break for me to soon.

Salt - Happy Birthday I hope you feel better soon.



I've had another over emotional day again today. Burst in to tears a couple of times again over little things. I also struggled to keep the tears at bay as we left the hospital after visiting my mum only to walk past a heavily pregnant woman. She looked so happy and I've felt so crap all day. My partner looked at me and smiled and said that will be you really soon. I wish I could be so optimistic, I really do, but I'm just not. The tears started but I managed to keep them so that he did not notice.

I've had cramping & light spotting today, along with the emotional stuff.... I keep hoping that good news is on it's way as it's only CD24 but deep down I think AF is on her way early. I get my results from my CD21 test tomorrow.... I'll be feeling a little stressed until I hear exactly what the go is.

Sorry to anyone I've missed.

[jenjams]

*sigh* I just found some spotting and the cramping feels like AF. I am only 5DPO.

I know how you feel. You go from being ok to being down in the dumps. Nothing constant. A good cry sometimes is a good thing.... Its also funny how we tend to see all the pregnant people out there. Why cant it be us Dammit!
It will be us all hopefully very soon.

[BekZ]

Just a quick post. I will come back soon and read all the posts.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALT!!!!!

Wow that is great that we have the same Bday and we are the same age

Hope you feel better real soon.

Hi everyone, hugs to all

[Sharon19270]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALTPRINCESS & BEKZ

megsmum hope that you do O tonight and that those little spermies are trying to catch that eggie as we speak.
Bun the not testing is driving me nuts. Glad to hear that you are feeling more +ve now that you are on the clomid and that you haven't had any of the side effects, good luck with your blood tests.
saltprincess I have this feeling that if my temp goes up in the morning there is every chance that I may test, I just can't hold out any longer LOL. Hope you get better soon.
kbowman that is what the spotting looked like, pink ewcm although the cm was stretchy, it was not AS stretchy as real ewcm, so maybe I am in with a chance still, I will wait and see what my temps do tomorrow, if they have another dip then I am going to assume that AF is on her way.
jenjams I really hope that it isn't an early AF for you, that would suck, maybe it is implantation spotting.
satya I hope it is good news for both of us in the next couple of days.

[satya]

Selfish post today. No good news at this end. AF arrived this morning.... it's light bleeding but I'm sure it's AF. 24 day cycle instead of my usual 28. I get my CD21 tests back today, along with a host of other things she tested for, so maybe a possible cause could be given to me today. I'm pretty sure my hormones are out of whack as two cycles with full on symptoms in week 3 surely have to be caused by too much of a particular hormone. Will post later on after my doctor's visit.

[Lee]

Satya - bugger it. If it is AF, then I'm going out in sympathy with you. I'm hoping your doctor's results can shed some light and assist you achieve your dream really really SOON!!

My AF is the absolute heaviest I've ever had, so much so it kept me awake lastnight and I'm not game to venture far today. Yuck yuck yuck.

Thinking of you Satya and hugs.

Sharon - have you tested yet?????????????????????????????? You are so strong!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee xo

[Sharon19270]

Good morning ladies

satya I am so sorry that AF showed up for you, that sucks, hopefully your bt will enlighten you (your dr) as to what is going on with your body, so good luck.
Lee my last AF was like that, a complete shocker, I can't ever remember bleeding that heavy before, only after giving birth. I actually caved this morning and tested (see my results below), couldn't stand the suspense any more especially since my temp went up and at this point in my cycle it never goes up.

Wellllllllllllll, I tested this morning and I am certain I can see the faintest of second lines and it was definitely there before 5 mins where up. I have had no more spotting since lunchtime yesterday. I am going to wait another couple of days before testing again, or then again maybe not since I do still have 3 more LC sensitive hpt's.

I am feeling a bit scared though, scared that my eyes are playing tricks on me, scared that it may be another chemical like last time, scared that I am pg, and scared of getting too attached just in case I lose this one. But in saying all of that I am still feeling excited.

[Lee]

Sharon - this is an EXCITING turn of events!! A faint line is still indeed a LINE. I guess you'll need to wait until AF is a couple of days late to be sure to be sure! But, it's looking very very wonderful, and I'm quietly confident that all will be perfect.

Do keep us posted!!!!!!

Lee xo

[Bun]

Sharon - woohoo on the faint BFP! I know exactly how you are feeling - it's so scary worrying that it could turn out to be a chemical pg or could miscarry again or could not actually be a positive at all. My brain goes through the same process, but just remember that it could also be the sticky baby you have been waiting for! In fact, it is more likely to be a sticky baby than anything else!!! I am glad that you are feeling excited!!

Salt & Bekz - happy birthday for yesterday! I hope you both had a great day. Salt - hope you are feeling better today, it's not good at all being sick on your birthday. I hope you O soon - I hate that wait, esp when O usually happens late. Sorry your mothers day wasn't that great - I guess it really rubs it in. I tried not to think about it at all on mothers day and was too busy anyway cooking for my family, but it would have been hard if I had had to see my BIL and SIL and their new bub. Luckily I managed to escape that.

Lee - sorry AF is being so bad to you. Hopefully she will leave soon!

Satya - sorry about AF arriving early. Let us know how your dr appointment goes - hopefully they will have some answers for you and sort out whatever is happening and get you a healthy bub asap!!

jen - you could just be having an implantation bleed. I have never had one so don't know exactly what it would be like, but it certainly sounds as if that could be it, and it would be about the right time. It is not over yet!!!

Deb - thanks for your kind words. I have an issue with seeing pg women and babies these days - it makes me sad! My brain tells me 'That will never be you', so I usually avoid those images! Maybe I should try to re-wire my brain or something and try to see those images as something positive. I am really trying to get a more positive attitude, and some days it works, and some days it doesn't. It is just so frustrating that the women who are being treated have a diagnosed condition to treat and fix the problem. As my specialist hasn't found anything, he won't treat me with anything to fix it, so I just feel so helpless. I know the chances of it working out next time are good, but my brain just can't seem to process that information! And I really, really don't want to end up in the recurrent m/c category, but I am so close already that I am terrified of losing another one. I am so glad things are going well for you this time, and hope to hear of a happy and healthy nine months for you!!

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Lee - your AF sounds awful - you poor thing. Thanks for the hugs - sending them right back at you.

Sharon - that's sounding good - afterall I faint line is still a line - here's hoping it gets darker next time you test.

Heybacko - well done on Oing.



Just back from the gp and I'm a mess. She's referred me on to the reproductive biology unit at Monash at Nottinghill. Apart from the fact that we've been trying for a year & because of my age I don't really understand why. I can barely stop crying.

I was so ill prepared for getting my AF this time that I don't even have tampons or proper pads in the house - not one single one. How stupid is that. I'm making do with some pretty serious liners until I can stop crying enough to get to the shops.

She told me that I had Od but not very well. My progesterone level was at 32 and the notes on the results say that a result of 20 means that there is normal corpus luteum function so I just don't understand why 32 is not high enough. I only realised this after I left the surgery otherwise I would have asked.

She also said my estrogen level is too high. It was 543 & it's noted that it is high but I don't get why it is considered high when the normal range is up to 1134 in the luteal phase. I just don't get it.

The thought of going to a FS again is really scary. I hated it last time and I was in a much better state of mind then than I am now.

My DF is dragging me out of the house in the hope of cheering me up now, I don't think it's going to work.

[Heybacko]

Hi everyone

Happy belated Birthday to Salt & BekZ

Satya - sorry to hear the old cow has turned up again, let's hope the tests show up something if they can

Amanda - I have decided your wicked AF is a big clear out to get you ready for your honeymoon bubs!!! As my DH will testify, I am always right!!!

Sharon - said it before and will say it again - LEND ME YOUR WILLPOWER!!

Salt - hope the cold is getting better and that you don't O until you feel you can 'do it justice' so to speak!!!!

Jenjams - hope this doesn't turn into AF for you - Sharon's right, it may be implantation bleeding??

Megsmum - won't be thinking of you tonight, IYKWIM!!

Herbie - sending you big hugs and hoping the break does the trick for you

Hi to anyone I have missed, hope this will be the month/cycle for you

Have been MIA myself for a while as it was my wedding anniversary on Saturday and then, of course, Mother's Day on Sunday. Both lovely days but couldn't get out of my head I should either have had a 4 mth old, or else been 5 months pg - tried not to dwell on it but made me a bit sad.

Well.... I am fairly sure I O'd on 5th May as had loads of EWCM for a few days - does anyone know whether you can get EWCM if your hCG hasn't come down low enough to O, or does the EWCM mean you are def. Oing??? If it's the latter, then I am in the TWW and 10dpo - AF due on Saturday, so trying not to test until it won't be a waste of test/money!!! I am awful at waiting for anything, so watch this space for news of my willpower (ie lack of, Sharon!!)

Alex
xx