Trying to conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2009

[Anila]

Anila - hun, I'm glad you posted cos it gives all of us an opportunity to tell you that it's ok to feel that way. You lost a baby, one you got to see moving and hear it's heartbeat, you will always hold onto that and shouldn't let it go. I remember nearly bursting into tears of joy when I saw my first baby on the ultrasound and I can only imagine the agony if I had lost her. I don't believe grieving ever completely ends and losing a child has to be the worst grief, even if you never met them. So feel it and embrace it for a little while and the pain will ease again. Take care
.

Thanks you hun, i dont know what it is, but i just cant seem to let go of that baby, it was my first, i never got to find out the gender, but i always thought it was a boy.

Hi

Well I thought it a coincidence that Anila mentioned the pregnancy tests from 1998 as I wanted to ask what some of you did with your +HPT from your angel baby if you dont mind me asking. I have like 20 ++HPT plus my ++OPT from my recent m/c but cant bring myself to discard them but do I keep all of them? If I loook at them I burst out crying and part of me wants to post pictures of them all to say it was real and it did happen but another part of me feels they are not helping. Not sure where to put them and what to do with them. The first response is too big to put in a album or something and I have like 10 first responses. Any ideas?

.

Hun, i am also having trouble getting rid of all my tests from this angel baby, i did over $80 worth, so i have about 15, so this week, i decided to throw one out a day, its silly but i say to the stick, i love you and i miss you, then i throw it out, i am keeping the last one i did as it is the darkest, and i took pics of all my tests together on my mobile, so i can still look at them, then i am going to scrapbook both my angel babies, i had taken a photo of the digital test that said pregnant, i had even put it in my bb gallery.

I think just keep one, the one that is the darkest, that way you will still have a connection, and you can always take the strip out of the case and frame it.
My test from 1998 is still very dark, im supprised at the quality.

I went to the docs yesterday and have a referral for an ultrasound if AF doesnt stop soon, to check there's nothing left. The thought of having a D & C now really bugs me- has been over a month since my m/c and I am trying to move forward, i think having to go through that procedure would make me feel back at square one again- and would take me there emotionally too.

Anila I bawled my eyes out reading your post, you poor thing, please don't be down on yourself for what you did...its perfectly normal... I think similar things, like this week I should have been 13 weeks and I would have been able to tell people and its just so unfair. My sister is also pregnant and I find that really tough- she is 20 weeks next week and doesnt know I was pregnant or about the m/c. I'm not going to tell her, would make it hard for her and I really don't want pity either (no matter how well intended).

....

Hunni, i just want to send you some hugs, i hope that everything has left on its own and that you can avoid having the d&c.



Hi poppy, im sorry that you have to join us, but welcome.

[Greenslw]

Anilia oh hun I am sending you so much Happy Birthday for the weekend

[Anila]

Anilia oh hun I am sending you so much Happy Birthday for the weekend

awe thankyou hunni

how are you feeling?

[LittleOnes]

why do kids always know the wrong thing to say? My 4yr old just told me she likes it better with her dad cos she has a baby there to play with. His partner had a baby a few months ago. Like I don't feel bad enough about the m/c and still not being pg. I just want to sit in the corner and cry.

God why isn't there an option on FF for Heartache... there's headache and heartburn...

[Greenslw]

Anila, I'm sick and not that happy about being at work, but I need the cash with all that's happening. I'm a little nervous about tomorrow as that is when MC happened last time but I have been heartened by my high progesterone levels from the clinic and trying my best to keep my mind possitive. I've had lots of movement in my tummy today, little cramps but still like poking not like period pain although it is driving me round the bend. I just wish I could zap into the future and Monday was here already. My friend had her miricle baby this morning 12.58 a little baby girl. I'm so happy for her. She said she had a dream I was BFP but I haven't told anyone yet not until Monday. I'm a little unhappy I can't see her but I'm sure no new mum wants to see anyone with a cold... DP was sick last week and I thought I missed it, no kissing but I guess when you share a bed, there's no escape. Although nothing is like a man cold........ Us ladies just get on with it...... I think we are amazing. I always remember my mum sick as and still taking us to school, helping us with homework and getting us bathed and to bed. oh I'm hormonal today......

ferrals you moved in the rain you are a machine.... Bet you're happy it's done.

coco I know what you mean about no posting, I had the worst day Wednesday and was almost in teers not being able to talk to my BB buddies.

Sunbeam I'm so glad I can stay and lerk for a while, I really do want to keep up with all your stories for a bit longer. with little egg

[Anila]

ooh smallfry, im sorry hun, i suppose thats the innocence of kids, they always say the wrong thing, and dont understand that there words can actually have an effect on grownups.
Huggs hun, i hope u feel better soon.
and lol at the ff heart ache.

Greenslw, yay on the ms, thats a good sign, i will keep my fingers crossed that u sail through the next few weks with out ant problems.

can i ask what ur symptoms are, im 7-8 dpo and have weird tummy cramps and feel queasy in the throat,

[Sunbeam]

Hi girls,

Hi to Emmy83 and Poppy84 sorry to hear of your losses I hope you find some comfort here.

Anila-I can totally sympathise with your post. I still have the ultrasounds and HPT from both my angel babies and the thought of parting with them tears my heart to shreds. I can't really imagine ever getting rid of them, I don't think I'd have the strength.

Ferrals- glad the move is now behind you though it sounds horrendous and I don?t envy you it one bit, moving sucks.

Greenslw- hope the cold is gone quickly.

Coco- I'm in the same boat. I forgot to test on Wednesday as I was at a different office and my little reminder was not on the computer so I think I missed the first day of positive OPK. So as soon as I saw it yesterday I organized to go and see Donor Daddy last night. He also came over this morning. Judging from the pain I o'ed between 8pm and 10 pm last night. If I'd done the Wednesday test we could have done one or 2 more inseminations which when I'm only getting 1.5ml from him could be critical. We can do tonight as I'm going to visit but given that my temp was up from 36.4 to 36.7 this morning I think it might be a bit pointless and too late.
Oh well nothing I can do about it now, just have to wait and see.

Oh yes and I looked at the little swimmer on the Maybe Baby, kept me very amused while I was lying there for 1/2 hour

[coco1411]

Hi everyone


Sunbeam. Good luck honey, I have a question for you, how do you do it? With the donor daddy i mean? Is it a friend? Hope you dont mind my asking

So sorry for your loss Emmy, you know we're here for you!

Poppy, lovely to meet you, sorry to hear you're hear under these circumstances.

Anila. I threw mine out. I kept them for a while but I had photos, and I made a little "movie" slideshow on my phone for me..aswell as pics of the bruises on my arms from all the blood tests I had to have while i was spotting for 2 weeks. I dont think about it all now. I just cant handle the sad feelings that come along with the thoughts. So at most Ill pay a visit to my baby tree and say a prayer although im not religious, and say hello and ask my angel to send me another baby.

Do any of you lay with your legs in the air or anything after BD? Or do you just lay there? I cant always lay there for long...I laid there got a little while today and last time we bd I just went to sleep so I hope that there was enough gravity :P

I think that because this is the last month i want to chart (im saying last now but who knows..) I dont want to take any risks persae.

[Sunbeam]

Hi coco

Yes Donor Daddy is a friend of mine though we only became friends through a mutual desire to have a child. I don't mind you or anyone else asking questions I understand my situation is a little different. Basically I call him tell him I'm o'ing and he comes over before work. We sit and have a cuppa then he does his thing and goes off to work. I then draw the sperm into a syringe and inseminate myself. I lie with my butt up on a pillow for half hour while I watch TV (or watch swimmers on my Maybe Baby I'm so going to show him that tonight.)

Still really spewing that I missed a day of inseminations, why does it all have to be so frigging technical and precise?

[maddison]

Hello,

I am new here and have been reading this thread the last two days and wanted to say thank you. Its so helpful to know you arent the only one out there feeling this way and going through the pain of m/c.
I m/c my first pregnancy on Jan 7th 2009 and have been TTC ever since with no luck so far. I feel very inspired to keep trying.
Baby dust to everyone!!

[Sunbeam]

Hi Maddison- I felt exactly the same way after my m/c, just reading these posts made me feel so much less alone. I'm glad you are gaining some inspiration and support.

Smallfryplus- sorry I forgot to answer your question re late o. No I do not have a 28 day cycle at all usually 31 to 34 days (so even for me day 25 was pretty late and I'd never have inseminated if the u/s lady had not told me I was about to o. I'd just figured it was another month with no o). Do you chat or use OPKs? OpK's have made things so much easier for me especially as I'm not doing the BD regularly. I can look at my charts now and realise I missed out on several months where we inseminated at least 3-4 days too early as I was on clomid and just expected to o on day 15-17 when in fact the clomid was having no affect at all.

OPK now negative again which means I did miss other positive on wednesday, bugger!

[coco1411]

OMG...Maddison...

I hope that this is a sign...

Your name is our chosen girl name.

On that note..I bought 2 letter plaques yesterday, a J (Jackson) and M (Madison...1 D)


Ps, welcome and hope your stay is short, Im scared about being pregnant again but I cant wait!
I just baked some cookies. Toasted museli & Sultana cookies.

[maddison]

Coco they are gorgeous names. My dh and i have chosen Max and Addison as our favourite names. I would like us to have 3 little ones and the 3rd name will be a challenge.
Maddison is our puppies name. She is 15 years old but she is our baby at the moment.

[coco1411]

haha is everyone here using their pet names?

Coco is my first Cat, I have 2 ragdolls, Coco & Max, who just jumped on my lap...Max is 5kg and he is 1...Coco is 4 kg and she is 4 this year,,,clearly Max eats more

Yeah I want 2 kids and Anthony wants more...but we both said "Lets just concentrate on getting to having a pregnancy first!"

[maddison]

Coco - Is it totally strange that you like Madison and thats my puppys name and i like Max and thats your pets name????
Maddison is a black Lab. She is 35kgs so she is a beast! There is no jumping on anyones lap!

Im really nervous about getting pregnant again too but am addicted to charting my bbt at the moment. And i got a Maybe Baby but i agree that its pretty useless. It will be hard to get excited about it when it finally happens. I try not to complain cos i really havent been trying that long. Only since Aug 08.

[coco1411]

We have been trying since oct 2007 but only charting since maybe sep 2008.

Hahaha that is weird!! My max is white

[maddison]

I think charting helps me not obsess about TTC. I think about it in the morning when i do my temp and maybe baby and then i try to let it go for a while. Its always in the back of my mind. I own my own Maternity store so i see pregnant women all day long so sometimes that gets hard. This will be the month for a lot of the ladies on bb. It really helps to see some exciting news.

[coco1411]

Ok Maddy....hope you dont mind me calling you that..

Do you sell just clothes? Or lingerie aswell?

I am really concerned about finding bra's to fit once Im pregnant...at the moment I am an 8-10G. So Im freaking out that Im going to get bigger than I already am!