Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss May/June 2010

[Iona Macca]

OMG OMG forshelby....praying so much that those two lines show up as you have all symptoms possible!! Lol at your partner - it's funny how they can pick up on things but takes them so long to do so.

I am sooo tired, even though I slept from 10pm - 7am this morn. DS is asleep so am thinking I'll go lie down before DP gets home from work!!

[forshelby]

Thanks for the report on Murraycod, Damprye! Yay for those numbers

Lol Iona, you're getting me all excited. My DP is watching me like a hawk. If I grimace or anything he keeps asking if I'm ok. Haha... And he reckons the dog is jealous and doesn't want to be a big brother, hence the reason he keeps trying to jump and fly-kick me in the groin. I also forgot to mention the dream I had last night that I was pg, and had just got my BFP.

Feeling really dizzy the last hour or so, and when I eat I get a very distinct 'blech' feeling. I joined him at work this morning (we work for the same company and I like to go 'trucking' with him when he does a Saturday shift) so I didn't have many opportunities to pee. By the time we got home, and I went.... I swear it was kind of cloudyish looking, and man.. it was stinky. lol, sorry for the TMI there. I don't know if it was just because I'd been holding it for about 3-4 hours, or what. No UTI's here, so not sure what the cloudyish thing is all about.

Yes, it's true, I have every symptom in the book. Starting to think now if I don't get my BFP tomorrow morning I'll be kind of shocked. And yes, if I do get it I will post a picture. Let's hope my horoscope was right when it said 'a much awaited change will take place'. Maybe it was reffering to me finally booking a hairdressers appointment? LOL

Want to test now, but am holding off. Not even considering fondling one again!!! I can't be trusted. I'm still totally nervous to test, though.

Any interesting symptoms at your camp right now, Iona? Tiredness sounds suspicious to me!

[Iona Macca]

forshelby - the only other thing (oh a couple of things) is I'm hungry every couple of hours which is normally a tell tale sign for me as I'm never hungry (unless it is from my presonal training sess from yesterday) plus we have DP's cousins 18th tonite and I'm in no mood to even have one drink, which is what I was like in january!!

oh can't wait till tomorrow morn - I will be on here waiting depending on when I get up in the morn, as hoping to watch the tennis when we get home....at the rate DP is going we will be home early - he has been drinking since 3pm and has now started on the bourban!!!

[forshelby]

I like the sound of those symptoms, Iona! And I'm impressed you've been working out with a personal trainer. I am so slack, the most exercise I do would probably be some intense high speed typing. Hehe.. I'm naughty.

I don't know how I'll get to sleep tonight! Still not wanting to get my hopes up and believe I'm going to see a BFP. DP seems fairly convinced I'm pg, but I haven't told him I'm testing tomorrow. I just told him we'd know next week. I want to do this part on my own.

I'm so nervous right now though maybe I'll chicken out and wait another day. Is testing at 13dpo worth it? Tomorrow is day 28. AF due Monday. (as far as I know, LOL)

Have fun watching the tennis, and good luck supervising your DP on bourbon. *shudder* Bourbon is not my friend!

[Iona Macca]

well i'm home and i've left him at the party - he looked to drunk for me to even think about it plus DS wanted to come home so easier that way. have made the spare bed up for him and told him

off to watch the tennis. see you all in the morning
xoxox

[damprye]

There is always the chance that it could still be to early but there is also a chance (the one I am hoping for) that for you it will be right on time

[MsKara]

Hi all,

I really should try to get back here more! I miss so much!!

Dampyre: No little emby unfortunately, but i'll get to that later! I'm terrible at temp checking as well. I started missing half the days and ended up forgetting it completely lol.

Kit: Glad to hear you're traveling well. Twilight is a great distraction for me too! They're releasing the Bree Tanner novella online for free in a few days. Another great distraction ;-)

Reet: I'm so sorry you were disappointed :-( I'm glad your appt when well though!

Forshelby: Ack... I'm sorry for you too!! FX for a false Neg... did you test again today?

Alice: I hope you're feeling better. I'm sure 4 months will fly by in no time, but you're right, it's still hard to hear. Don't be a stranger!

Possum: Congratulations!!! Don't forget to come back to tell us about that dark 2nd line! Thank you so much for the kind words. I've put my quilt away for a while, because I'm just not in the right state of mind to get through it, and I can't quite pull it out without feeling a bit silly/desperate/upset yet. I do plan to get there soon though :-)

Murray: Congratulations!!

T-Hopes: Happy Birthday for yesterday! I'm so glad you're recovering well. Congrats on finally getting a diagnosis!! As much as it's a crappy one, it's so much better than not knowing.

Iona: It's all sounding very positive for you :-) Can't wait to hear your result tomorrow!

AFM: I saw my GP who suggested provera to get AF to arrive. I decided to buy it the next day, but AF arrived that morning, and now I want her to leave again LOL. It's like my body has been saving up all of the cramps from the last 2 months and giving them to me today!

My GP also sent me for a blood test. I'm getting everything tested - iron, cholesterol, all the vitamins etc, plus my thyroid. I go back next week to get the results, and then I'm going to see a dietitian to help me lose some weight. At the very least, it can't hurt my chances of falling pg again.

[Iona Macca]

oh forshelby, did you test this morning???

MsKara - hope AF leaves quickly for you!!

AFM: not much 2 report, a li queasy earlier this morn, but went back to sleep til 8.30am, only saw the first half hr of the tennis!! let's see how the day goes

[forshelby]

There is always the chance that it could still be to early but there is also a chance (the one I am hoping for) that for you it will be right on time

BFN. wtf? Can't explain the symptoms, or the nipples or anything right now.

Feeling upset and disappointed. F***!!!!! Waiting for af to arrive, and feeling like an idiot for having hope it could happen quickly for me. I'm not that lucky, and don't know why I thought I would be. F*** again!

[MsKara]

Aww Forshelby I'm sorry You shouldn't feel like an idiot though you had every reason to think it could happen this month. We all want it to be now.

[damprye]

MsKara- I hope they can give you an answer soon. Mine sometimes go haywire because of PCOS.

Iona- I hope the next week goes fast for you.

ForShelby- Do not feel like and idiot. I felt like a complete idiot when I was a blubbering mess when I had sudden bleeding and went to the hospital because I was sure I was having a m/c even though I had not had a + test. They done a urine test while I was there as well as an ultrasound and said that I was not pg and that I could not fall pg. Turns out that even after all of them were making me feel like idiots that they ended up being the idiots. My DS had not too long ago implanted and I was losing the extra bastoplasts that had not implanted. That was when I was 4-5 weeks, when I was 8-9weeks I had it confirmed by ultrasound that I had been UTD at the hospital and also that he was striving in there

AFM- I fell asleep whilst trying to temp lol. Last 3 temp have been- 36.6, 36.5 and 36.4. I have not been doing them at the same time cos I wont sleep properly when I have n alarm set and often wake before it goes off but I have been temping every time I awaken even slightly... well as soon as I am awake enough to realise I am awake lol. Starting to get some wet cm now which is normal to the build up of O day for me. I guess I should start DTD over the next few days lol.

[murraycod]

Forshelby, Darling, I'm so sorry. I know this must be so confusing for you. I can tell you, my body played so many tricks on me, by the end of the month I could never trust what she was telling me, it was all lies! Sometimes we seem to hold onto every little niggle and twinge, but whoa girl I read your symptoms and I for sure thaught you were UTD.
Honey just rest easy, I know your gutted ATM, waiting for the start of your new cycle is one of the worst things to go through, and the thaught of having to start back at the start is a hard challenge to take up. But you can do it. One day at a time, you will be DTD at 'o' time before you know it. Hey, when you get AF, do me a HUGE favour??? Have a wine or a glass of JD for me? Please?? You deserve it, try relax, enjoy your week or 2 off from this TTC mania, and enjoy what you do have, focus on that. Beleive me when I say, it will happen honey, and we will all be so proud of you X

IonaM, getting towards 1 week down!! I am so stalking you my friend! XXX

MsKara, hope AF is being kind to you and leaves the building soon X

Kit, I pray that you are doing great today, and the MS kicks in nice and strong! Sorry about your friend, your right in giving her space, she will be ok, and you need to just focus on you ATM, and take it easy X I'm just so thrilled for you that Li'l Tiger was doing fine at the US, you sure do have a fighter on your hands, everything will be ok X
Oh and Twilight?!?! I am on the last half of Breaking Dawn, you are totally right, Jacob and Edward help fix everything!! I started reading the Saga just before my EPU and has kept me sane for the past couple weeks. When I'm not reading I go mad again, damn I will have to read them again for the third time when I finish again, it's the only thing I can think of to do right now. And it's relaxing. Hey I downloaded Midnight Sun draft the other day have you read that??? It's better than all of them, geez I hope it gets published one day.

Possum, WOW huge congratulations to you sweetheart how are you feeling?? If you are anything like me, you are going even more nutts, I have lurked a bit, but am too scared to type about how I am, incase I jinx myself. Look forward to catching up with you very soon, will give you a PM. XXX

Thopes I am so excited for you!!! IKWYM when you think/know there is something wrong but nobody can find it. I am so releived for you that you are now finally able to get things moving along. You are right, having your tubes flushed and everything else cleaned, you have a huge chance of fallling PG in the next 3 months now. I will stalk you all the way, good luck, I am praying for you honey XXX I love your ticker, so jealouse you going on a holiday to sunny OLD!!!!! I'm freezing here in mopy Victoria!

To the girls I missed, love you all, hope you are all well and thank you to everyone who has been asking about me XXXX
I know I have been MIA here, I am having a hard time beleiving what has happened, I know you will all tell me I am welcome here, but I just feel terrible whinging about feeling so low when I should be out celebrating.
My beta last monday was 700, then on thursday it was just under 2000. But I have been getting crampiness still which makes me feel like I am still gong to get AF.
DH and I had this image in out heads, that when IT finally happened, we would be jumping up and down and so excited, but TBH, we are now more terrified than anyting. It's like we can't celebrate, like we are waiting for the bad news or something. It's just so hard. This is why I have stayed away, you all prob think I'm totally stupid and ungratefull.
My boobage is only slightly tender and that's it, just the cramps, so I am still vey hesitant to beleive that I am PG.
My first scan appt is the 22nd tis month, I hope I can just relax untill then, and see my baby for the first time. It's just going to be a hard long road untill then I think.
So girls, please don't mind if I do drop by here, cuz I am too hesitant to join the PAML thread being that I am only 5wks. It just feels too early yet.
So sorry I have been away, I have been checking up, and today I just couldn't help myself not to say a hello. I appreciate you all so much for helping me get this far, and I really don't want to hover away just yet.

[damprye]

No one here would think that you are ungrateful, we have all been through the loss of an angel and are all worried about the same thing happening again. Throughout my ENTIRE pregnancy of DS I was absolutely terrified of losing him every second of every day. For the first trimester I was at my lowest, I was hiding away and did not want to see anyone, I did not even join a group until I was over 5 months and even then.... When he was born I was so happy that he had made it but even to this day I am scared that something will take him away from me. Once you get past the first trimester and also see your lol bub in there you will be able to enjoy the time spent with him/her (or both ) and even though there is the side that will still be frightened there will alos emerge a side that will enjoy the time you have together, not saying it is not there now but it would be getting seriously hidden by the fear side. Well that is all just my opinion and experiences but I hope it helps in some way
_______________
A quicky from me- does anyone else want the day to hurry up and pass already just so they can test/temp/check something or other out in the morning? I am sitting here atm wishing it were tomorrow morning already lol

[India's Mum]

MurrayCod - I tried to send you a PM but your box is full. I too have been having terrible cramps the last few days and even some spotting but today all is calm and the spotting has stopped. It's scary but it doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. I don't really get many other pregnancy symptoms so there isn't much else for me to go on. I don't get sore boobs or morning sickness just a bit of heartburn and I burp a lot. The PAML thread is very supportive for people right from the moment they get their BFP. I'm only 6 weeks today so not very far along either (originally I was told I was 10 days beyond what I am but I had a scan last week which was more accurate)

[Loops12]

Hi ladies
Sorry Ive been MIA from this thread for ages now. Im in a couple of the others so its hard to write in all of them and the LTTTC with Assisted has been the one ive been in from day 1 really so thats the 1 I tend to stick too. But I really enjoy chatting with you ladies too so really should try and get in here more often.

Murraycod ~ Great to hear your beta's have been great. So happy for you!! xo

Forshelby ~ I read through all your posts - Im so gutted for you. As Murraycod said, take 1 step at a time and you'll be back to DTD before you know it and you'll get that BFP very soon! Enjoy some bevies - wine or whatever you drink. Im in a similar position to you - see below.

AFM ~ Im currently at CD26, Ive had pg symptoms ever since I know I ovulated such as weird tummy pains and niggles, ive had a lot of extra CM (kinda sticky/creamy), occasional headache and headspin. I know exactly when I o'd and we did lots of BD'ing LOL. I did a HPT (First response) at approx 10DPO and hoping it was just too early. Trying to wait until AF due to do another. Usually I have long cycles so Im not sure when I'll do another one just yet maybe Thursday.

I'll have to catch up with everyone from now on because it so hard to keep up right now.
But good luck everyone. Lots of babydust to all - hoping to see lots of BFP's very soon.

[forshelby]

MsKara - Thanks for the support.

Damprye - Thank you for saying I'm not an idiot, although I still feel a bit frustrated with myself for allowing myself to believe all the 'symptoms' even if only a little bit. It's hard. I still have that tiny tiny bit of hope that maybe it was too early, and I will have a story like yours, of being UTD the whole time I was thinking I was not.

Murraycod - You're a special lady, you know. I was feeling really low, and thought I'd jump on here to see what was happening with 'my girls' (as I refer to you when DP asks what I'm doing, hehe) when I saw your lovely post. Thank you for your wise words. I'm going to take your advice and focus on what I do have. A lovely house (we don't own it but I bloody well live in it so it's MINE), a nice new car, our furbabies, and generally a good life together. I haven't told him I tested at all, so it's hard not being able to cry on his shoulder. I know if I did though, he'd just tell me I'm being silly, and that I can't expect things to happen instantly. It's just been such a long wait, waiting for him to be 'ready', I feel like I've been TTC this whole time. Anyway, I did stash a bottle of wine in the fridge in case of a moment like this, and as soon as I see the crimson wave I'll be popping that cork to drown my sorrows. I'll be drinking in your honour It is hard thinking I'm going to have to go through this over and over again, as just one TWW was hard enough. I wonder how many there might be. I feel silly for thinking like that, but it's just where I"m at right now. I'm so glad I have people like you around who understand. Until I get AF though, I'll keep holding onto any tiny shred of hope that maybe I tested too early. I had to wait until I was a week late last time, so I suppose I have to just try to keep my chin up. But thank you again for your encouragement, you really lifted my spirits. I feel a lot better after hearing from you. I know it must be hard being only 5wks, and feeling like you're just waiting for bad news. Judging by your numbers though things are looking good, and I can't wait to hear about your scan. When is it? I hope they're going to see you early so you don't have to sit and wait for too long.

Small update here: still feel mostly the same as the last week or so. Still a bit crampy, boobies still tender. I just checked FF and it says af isn't due until the 8th.... strange, but I'm going to trust my little calendar. I still think she will probably arrive though, since I got the BFN. I figure if I was pg, I would most likely have a BFP by now, but it's so confusing that my symptoms aren't fading and turning into PMS. No headache, just feeling low from testing this morning. I'll know when my bbs feel normal and I have a headache that it's really over, and expect to start bleeding the same day. *sigh* DP asked me what I was so cranky about when I yelled at the shopping trolley for rolling away on me when I was trying to unload groceries into the car, but I didn't have the heart to tell him. I just shook my head and shut my mouth. On the bright side, it's our anniversary on the 6th of July, so I'm hoping I can give him a really special surprise then. Still, 2 months TTC is a bit of a big ask, but I'll hold onto that hope for now to keep me from sinking too low. Maybe I should invest in some preseed to speed things along. I've heard a lot of good things about that stuff.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, I'm totally hogging up the thread with my stupid sooking. Some of you ladies have been trying for so long, I feel like a real a**hole for feeling as sad as I do right now. Like a spoilt brat who has to wait a week for that new toy. Thanks for all your support, and I'll let you all know if anything miraculous happens, though I doubt it.

[damprye]

Forshelby- hang in there hun. I think everyone hopes that it happens sooner rather than later and sometimes our bodies want it almost as bad and so throws all these symptoms at us in an attempt to make us feel better even though it does the exact opposite when we get that BFN. If AF doesn't come in a week I would say to do another test anyways as you never know.

Loops- A hello is in order from me, I must have joined the tread after you went MIA

SammyP- so much that your little one is safe, when do you get the next scan?

AFM- ARGGGG I am so peeved right now. AF finished a few days ago and now I have the same damn spotting again. This does not make sense to me at all. It was late and then just really only ever spotting, I never even used a liner and then it went away after almost a week and now almost a week later it is back... OMG why can I just not have a normal body?!?
I don't even know what I should do now, I am just completely and utterly lost

[Loops12]

Hi Damprye
Yep I think you joined once I'd gone MIA. I have been popping in now and again and checking in on everyone and how they are going.
GL with TTC, FX for you. Could the spotting be that you are pregnant?
Hope you work out whats happening anyway and if not pg that your body gets back to normal ASAP. :-)