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Thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2009

  1. #181

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    Rhi - AF is due at my place anyday. Temp drop this morning so I'm sure she'll be here with the Easter Bunny. I know which one I'd prefer to visit. Oh well, at least I'll have a good excuse for all that chocolate.



    I'll be back soon for a few more persies - Just need to put the little ones to bed.

  2. #182

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    Sorry I haven't really posted too much on here for a while. The last few weeks have been nail-biting and I have been devoting a bit of time to paranoid posting on the PAML thread.

    But just want to let you know I have made it past 12 weeks with what looks to be an absolutely normal PG and perfectly beautiful bubba. It took me until now to have the courage to create a ticker, but I figure my little one is working so hard to grow and meet its Mummy and Daddy that it deserved one

    Due to my previous serial losses and a damaging forceps delivery with DD, I will be having fortnightly US to measure my cervix and check it is not "shortening" prematurely. We also invested in a quality doppler and I can hear bubby's HB every night.

    It is still a long road ahead of us, but I wanted to share a little hope with you all.

    WTH xx

  3. #183

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    Hannah - I have been thinking of you daily! I know how you feel about the excitment fading. I think after loss we just detach as we can't stand the though of it happening again. I hate that the innocence of pregnancy and not worrying has been taken away from me. People have told me that once you have held a healthy baby you'll enjoy other pregnancies (all coming from people who have never experienced loss mind you!) I just don;t see how that could be the case for most people.
    I was happy but terrified when I found out I was pregnant, and now not knowing whats wrong with my baby and knowing their is still a good possibility I could lose it or it be very sick when its born has just made me more scared. I tell myself everyday I just need to TRY to enjoy the pregnancy and baby, but hun I know its easier said than done. I wish I could give you a big hug. In the fist few weeks before I had a scan I had HCG blood tests at the doc every few days to reassure myself my levels were rising.
    When do you see your DOC? have you got a scan organised? I really hope you can have a scan soon to try and ease some of your fears.
    Lots of hugs! xox

  4. #184

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    Hi ladies,

    this one is for hannah.

    I know exactly how you are feeling, please dont think its wrong. i was exactly the same. i was too scared to get excited in case it all ended the way it did before. I was terrified to go to every scan in case something was wrong. i still get days now where i think....what if something is wrong and i just dont know about it....... All i can say to you is that it does get easier. the first 12 weeks for me were the worst. One thing i did that really helped was i bought a heart beat doppler machine. it was my lifeline through the early stages until i could feel bub moving around. it didnt cost me a lot, but got it on ebay, i havent used it in months now as i have the reassurance of the constant movements (day & night) but early on it was a godsend!

    please dont feel like there is something wrong, after everything all the ladies in here have been through its totally normal to be worries and scared.

    When you are ready for the PAML thread we will be there waiting for you with open arms.

    AFM: i'm into single figure countdown now - 9 days to go

  5. #185

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    fificlaire - can i ask which doppler you bought. Spoke to Dh today and we are buying one for piece of mind.. Trying to research now but not having any luck, I dont know what direction to go in....

    xxoo

  6. #186

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    Hi Sally,

    it was called angel sounds. its pink and white and comes with head phones and also a lead that you can link to your pc so you can record it. I did that and now have the heartbeat on my phone as a ring tone also came with the ultrasound jelly

    I think i only paid around ?25 for it on ebay, not sure what that converts to tho. but it was a god send to me. i wanted to walk round with it constantly strapped to my belly - but i resisted

  7. #187

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    Fifclaire - last question I promise!!
    When did you start using it?? Was it earlish or later?
    Thanks!!!

    xxoo

  8. #188

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    Jan 2009
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    WTH-I'm so happy for you for making it past 12 weeks! Your new ticker is moving along nicely!

    Fifi-Wow 9 more days! I can't wait to see pictures of bub.

    mollycat-Sorry to hear AF will be arriving.

    cherished-Praying you catch that eggie!

    Rhi-Sending you lots of AF vibes!

    Hannah- Your not being ungrateful hun. Its normal for us to feel that way. We love having you hear and don't feel like you can't post here because your pregnant now. You give us all hope that it can happen for us too. We are here to support you and we love you.

    Coco-YAY! Praying you caught that eggie!

    Possums-Sorry to hear that your expecting AF. Is it defiantly over for you this month? If it is I pray that IVF goes smoothly for you.

  9. #189

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    i bought it when i was about 10 weeks i think.......but sometimes you can struggle to find something that early on, but i was lucky enough and i did. it all depends how bub is positioned.

  10. #190

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    Rhi - I hope your feeling better today . Enjoy your 'you' time on Saturday. You deserve it. I can understand your feeling of dejection after your doctor's comment. I've heard it said that there's not much further that assisted conception can go since AC conception rates are very close the natural rates. I often wonder if now there'll be more research into pregnancy loss. Yeah its great to be able to conceive but its little comfort if we can't hold onto them.

    boble - Have been thinking of you today. I really hope all went well wit the tribunal.

    charm - I'm hoping you get that BFP this month .

    liz - I am so truly sorry for your losses. I don't have any experience with either clomid of OPK's so I can't answer your question, but there's bound to be someone around here that can. I wish you all the best on your TTC journey and pray you get your forever baby soon.

    jen - Busy as usual, I see. Hope you're taking care of yourself too.

    sally - I guess I see your sister's point, but she didn't choose her words very carefully, did she? Big hun.

    sunny - Enjoy your holidays.

    Shortcake - How are things with you?

    possums - Thanks so much. It is a comfort to know I'm not alone. I pray the IVF works this time so you get your forever baby.

    Eliza - Yay for O! I really hope you caught that egg this month

    megsmum - Thats exactly how I feel. I can't imagine having a baby at the end of this. Thanks for letting me know there's nothing wrong with me.

    cherished - Sounds promising.

    mollycat - Sorry about the temp drop.

    WTH - Congrats on making it past 12 weeks. One trimester down. Lets hope the next 2 are uneventful.

    erybery - Thankyou so much for thinking of me. Especially with all you've been dealing with lately. Big for you and bubs.

    fifi - Thanks for your words too. Single figures now, I'm so excited for you!

    AFM - I could understand the way I feel if I was worried. I think sheer terror would be better than feeling completely numb. At least its expected. After my loss I had a game plan: I would get the hcg tests and a scan at 9-10 weeks around the time I lost my last bub. But I don't care now. I'll be seeing my doctor next thursday (couldn't get in this week) and I will still ask for a scan. But at the moment, I don't really care. That's what is worrying me. On the other hand it does make it easier to take it one day at at time.

    It hasn't helped that I haven't spoken with DH all week. I think I'll wait up for him to get home from work tonight so I can have a chat to him. Maybe things will seem better then. But thankyou all again for letting me know I'm still normal. Since starting Zoloft is hard to know if I can trust my emtions.

  11. #191

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    Apr 2009
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    Thanks everyone for your welcomes.

    Day 21 now and no ovulation even with Clomid. Have booked to see a new doctor next month so am hoping she will answer some of my millions of questions.

    Found myself crying all the way home from the shops today, sometimes the desire for a baby just gets so overwhelming. Add to that I should be starting my maternity leave from work which just rubs it in.

    Does everyone else have days like this? And also, do you have days where you really can't bear to look at happy, pregnant women?

    Anyway, sorry to be so negative. Happy Easter everyone, wishing you all luck and success with ttc.

    Liz

  12. #192

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    fifclaire- Thanks!! Im going to look into it!

    HannahD - Yeah she had a point, it just wasn't delivered well. Still I think unless its actually you having this happen to you are still slightly protected from the reality of it all...
    Our bodies are amazing the way they allow us to cope. If you can just let yourself be for a couple of weeks and see how you go. If you think its what you are taking ask your doc maybe? I think your doing a brilliant job!!!!!!!!

    Liz - it is what it is and you shouldn try not to let it make you feel bad. A very clever lady said let your emotions just be what they are.. you cant help disliking pregnant people, I have many a moment too!!! Another clever women said fake it till you make it!! Hope tomorrow is a fantastic day and sets the tone for your long weekend.

    xxoo

  13. #193

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    fifclaire - just had a thought you might get a lovely early easter surprise! Cant wait to hear all the great news and stories!!! thanks for your advice.
    xxoo

  14. #194

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    I completely forgot to wish everyone a HAPPY EASTER! I hope everyone enjoys the long weekend, whatever we may be doing.

    sally - Thanks. I'll try not to stress about not stressing. Maybe once I have scan, see the heartbeat, I'll be able to believe it could it happen.

    liz - Ditto what sally said. Denying what you feel doesn't help. I work in a maternity hospital 2 days a week so I have to see pg women regularly. Some days I'm fine and other days its almost more than I can bear.

  15. #195

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    cherished--Will be looking for a coverline on your chart in a couple days! You may not necessarily see a temp drop, per say, but hopefully you'll begin to see an increased temp trend for the next 3 days, before getting seeing those cross-hairs. I've got my that you caught/catch that eggie!



    Rhi--I'm sorry about your BFN and that AF has gone AWOL. *hugs* She left here with strict instructions to go straight to hell! I hope you enjoyed the yoga, and I'm envious of your facial--I've never had one!


    Why is it that it's called AF anyhow? No woman in her right mind would make another woman suffer the way we do..... only a man would be so cruel.... I say we change the name to RB--for Rat [email protected]@rd!



    boble--Saying that the tribunal went well! Enjoy your friend's b-day and hope you have a happy, relaxing Easter!



    Hannah--You could never offend anyone, and I'm so grateful that you felt comfortable enough with us to share what you're feeling! That's a huge step right there--the fact that you're not internalizing your emotions, and you're getting it off your chest! I don't think that you're being ungrateful at all--your mind is simply trying to protect your heart! It's like your mind is building a big wall around your heart.... making you feel numb, because at least if you're numb, then you aren't feeling--KWIM?... it's telling you that if something happens, you won't care (of course you would, but it's like you're in fight or flight mode--you can't control your mind.) Have you called the dr. to see if your dosage should be decreased now that you're pg? I hope that you get to have your talk with DH--I'm sure it will help, if only to allow his additional support and understanding of what you're feeling/not feeling.



    charm--Enjoy your Easter and special quality time with your family! *hugs*



    Liz--Welcome! I'm sorry about your losses, and that your new year began so horribly! Unfortunately I know nothing about Clomid, but know there's many others that have been successful with it. Hope you find some comfort and support here among us on your TTC journey, and I look forward to sharing this journey with you and getting to know you! We all sympathize and empathize with your emotions at seeing pg women--we get it, and we know how painful it is. You're among friends! *hugs*



    sally--Welcome to my life! lol... I wake up every morning at 4:45 to take my temp--on my own, like clockwork. I swear, the older I get, the earlier I wake up!

    We all know what you mean about feeling stressed about getting pg. again. With my last angel, as soon as I found out I was pg, I called and wanted an u/s... I don't know, just had a panic.... the nurse kept telling me, "jenny, just relax and enjoy being pg... everything will be fine". Well, it wasn't.... and she felt so bad and apologized several times to me, saying how small she felt. She didn't mean any harm, but I was grateful and actually shocked that she apologized. I was 8 wks at that time.... so I went on as she said until I started spotting at 13 wks.... went for u/s and was told baby had passed at 8 wks.... so had they actually given me the u/s when I asked for it, I could've possibly known sooner, instead of thinking/feeling pg for an additional 5 wks--and telling everyone I knew that I was pg.... It's terrible to have to go back and re-tell everyone that now you're not.... However, if/when I get pg again, I will stand in their office and if they don't give me an u/s! And, of course, I'll stress.... but we can't control what's going to happen.... and if we don't take the chance, we'll never know... Big *hugs*



    sunny--Enjoy your 2 weeks off! Happy Easter! *hugs*



    Big *hugs* for Shortcake & megsmum (my fishy friend, you WILL be holding a baby in your arms very soon!)

  16. #196

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    Still have more persies to finish, but have to get in the shower, so will be back later.... for everyone!

  17. #197

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    coco--I had a feeling that I'd see that coverline on your chart today! See, I might get you a little confused sometimes, but I've gotten pretty good at reading charts... like the chart whisperer or something! Saying lots of prayers that you caught that



    Possums--Hoping AF--oops, I mean RB (Rat [email protected]@rd) went to hell per my instructions! Hoping you don't need to venture back down the IVF path!



    erybery--Still saying lots of prayers for your little princess... (ugh, now that I've said that, I really hope that my memory is serving me correctly--please tell you that you did say you were having a girl!?!?)



    fifi--****, fi, 9 days! Where does time go? Love the completed pics of bubs room--the light is great, I've never seen one like that before! Sending you some easy labor vibes! (you'll need them! )



    WTH--Hello friend! I'm sorry to hear you've been thru a stressful couple weeks--but woo hoo!--you made it past a HUGE milestone!! Moving on to 2nd trimester--praying it's a zenful, very uneventful and boring one! Love the ticker! Oh, and I have to ask... what the heck does fortnightly mean? lol.... I'm confused!



    mollycat--Bugger about your temp drop.... stupid @$$ RB... Hoping that the Easter bunny brings you lots of chocolate! *hugs*



    MO3B--Hey twinnie! Thinking of you always! Oh, [email protected] just realized I forgot the blank CD's.... grrr... going to look around the house and see if I can find some. Hope you're liking the songs--super happy to hear you're using the "Unbreakable" one as a ring tone!



    Wishing you all a very happy Easter!

  18. #198

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    Thanks Hannah and Shortcake

    Jen - hey right back at ya, friend. I have missed our little chats here. Will try and make a better effort from now on. BTW - fortnightly means two-weekly. I agree with you about the whole AF thing - it is not fair it gets called a biatch, etc. Gives women a bad wrap. Lovin' the RB idea

    Sally - I bought the FetalSounds doppler from conceive.com.au. They say it works from 10 weeks, though I bought mine at 12 weeks. The sound quality is excellent. HB has been easy to find (so far) - within seconds - and I can even hear kicks

    Fificlaire - 9 days - you lucky girl. Enjoy any rest you can get right now - things will never be the same

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