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Thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2009

  1. #343

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    Wow, this place was like Grand Central Station last night! Busy, busy! I love how good news brings everyone together!



    cherished--I feel exactly the same: closer to all the girls here than any IRL! I have acquaintances at the school that I see daily, and they're great for some adult conversation... but as far as friendship goes... my best friends are here! I still get a nervous butterfly feeling every time I log on--like knowing you're coming home at the end of the day to be surrounded only by people that completely understand you! It's my comfort zone!



    boble--I had a feeling the other day when I looked at your chart that your next temp would give you your coverline. Looks like we're cycle buds--I just got my coverline this morning! Hope you have a brighter day!



    Hannah--Best of luck at your dr's appt. today!



    Big for sally, megsmum, WTH, erybery, Rhi, meh, Krystie, AJC, & chappas!



    plc--Hi! *hugs* Did you get your pics that I e-mailed you?



    fifi--I saw your post on fb about getting induced today after lunch... hopefully that means you've got bubs in your arms right now!!! I'm so excited for you!


    mollycat--Hey, YES! I forgot about your plans to ruin the wedding! Couldn't stop the tears yesterday--every time I thought about it, or saw someone post their congrats to you... I don't know, you just SOOOO deserve this--I'm so happy for you! *tweet tweet!*



    coco--Hope things are better today with you and DH! *hugs* Love the pic that you have on your ff chart!





    Hey Toccara! BIG for my little cyber sis!

  2. #344

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    Mar 2008
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    I'm baaaaaack!



    Mel--Congrats on the new car! How sweet of DH to get you Demons tix--seems like he's always thinking of ways to cheer you up!



    MO3B--Hey my beautiful other half! *hugs* Don't forget our pact when you get your package!



    Greenslw--Welcome back! I'm glad you're feeling like you're in a better place after your time of reflection. Best of luck with the next FET!



    jules--I can't believe the rude, insensitive comment that your MIL made! I certainly hope that your DH set her straight! More importantly, I hope that you don't take heart to what she said--this isn't your fault, and I'm sure there's nothing you could've done differently that would've changed the outcome. I wish you all the best with your decision... know that we'll support you no matter what! *hugs*



    Mannie--I can't tell if you're my cycle bud, because you don't have a chart for me to stalk! Where are you at in your cycyle?



    smi--Good morning! I had a change of heart.... Nahla is beautiful, but I'm pretty keen on the name 'jen' What do you think?!?!



    jenushka--Hope things are going well with the GD! *hugs*



    megsmum--Big for yesterday for your angel's EDD!



    AFM--Not much to report... just that I got my coverline! 3DPO today!

  3. #345

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    WOW there is heaps to read from last night! I think it's funny how when I log on Jen is usually the most recent post (due to the time zone I guess) than anyone who was on last night (while I was in bed) and than I post all the time LOL but mainly early in the morning heheheh. Anyway....

    Welcome juleswa and I am so sorry you are here I had a D&C on March 20th and my bub was 8 weeks. I didn't want to go through the physical stuff of a natural m/c and I wanted to get back into ttc straight away. There's many opinions on how long to wait to ttc (as you have heard) We started ttc straight away and I am waiting to test (as you can see from my chart). The lining not being thick enough (and emotional issues) is the reason many people are told to wait to ttc. However I was told that if your lining was not thick enough to hold the pregnancy you would have an early m/c like when your period would be due so unless you had tested early you would never know you were pg anyway. Good luck with your decision xoxox

    Jen YAY for the cover line!!! OMG I would loooove us to be belly buddies, in fact I would looooove us all to be belly buddies

    AFM Which leads me to my chart and I can see many similarities in my chart to the one where I got pg. Only prob is that I have never charted when I didn't get pg to know the difference Is there anyway I can upload my old pg chart, perhaps in my profile or something? so I can get all your opinions? Or is that only a feature for people with special memberships?

    Thanks xo

  4. #346

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    Juleswa - I am soooo sorry for your loss. We are all hear for you and understand what you are going through. Last year I fell preg after many irregular cycles. At 8 weeks I had some very light bleeding/spotting and went to my OB who did a scan and said the baby was gone and the sac only measured 5-6 weeks. He thought I would naturally miscarry in the coming days. He said to come back in a week just in case my dates were really wrong and the baby just wasnt big enough to be seen. I didn't miscarry and went back a week later to schedule a D&C as I could not handle the waiting any longer knowing my baby was gone. I felt a D&C was the quickest way to move on and was very scared of being alone at home and in pain. The actual procedure is fine, very quick and your asleep and then go home in a couple of hours. I had light bleeding for 2 weeks after and some cramping (but not as bad as period cramps). The choice of what to do is hard and only you can make it. I really pray you will feel at peace with your decision. We were told to wait one cycle before TTC again to let my lining build up.
    Best wishes and know that you can ask, say, scream anything you want in this forum without being judged. xox.

  5. #347

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    Mar 2009
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    Well its beeninsane last night!!!

    Jules- welcome, like so many ladies have already said this forum has kept our sane and positive with future ttc... As for a natural or D&c, I had a D & C at 13w 5ds but mine was a medial termination... Havind said that I dont think I could wait to Naturally miscarry but thats me. Some people feel D & C's are less likely to have complications, some disagree...
    I liked (so not the right word but you get what I mean) the idea of having a completely fresh start, each to their own and you will make the same decission.
    Also on TTC, cherished sumed it up, we have waited a natural sysle and are starting this month for my emotional and mental health! Plus ours was a strange situation and I had to give DH a break other wise he wouldnt be coping now I think (he hurt his back, hardly an injury helpful for TTC!!!!)

    Mel - Car sounds great!!! That was one we looked at too, ended with a Ford Teriitory, but DH is a Ford mechanic from way back so 'he likes the engines', personally I dont really care!! SO funny, when we looked mum was like "He really doesn't ask for much, let him pick the car".... Very true though!

    Mollycat - CONgratulations AGAIN!!!!!
    now Im desperately thinking of important dates that will line up with testing for a BFP... So far I have Mothers day for this cycle or our wedding ann. in july....
    PLEASE BE MOTHERS DAY!!

    SMallyfryplus - Welcome and I hope this site helps you as much as it has helped me!

    To Jen, cherished, coco, boble, smi, mannie, hannah and every one else GOOD MORNING!!

  6. #348

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    juleswa - I'm so sorry for your loss I think the D&C is a very personal decision if your caregiver is not recommending you go with an option and leaving the decision up to you. I had a missed m/c at 12 wks and my ob was happy for me to do either too, but I went for the D&C because a) I was scared of going through the whole process and what I might see b) I didn't want to wait for what might be weeks afraid to leave the house in case I miscarried in public and c) I have a DD to look after and didn't want her seeing me miscarrying and wondering what was wrong with Mum It was a difficult choice to make though and I struggled with the thought of it, and I wouldn't have wanted to do it if my DH hadn't been around either. But it is a choice only you can make, I think if you are unsure waiting is probably not a bad way to go - don't make any hasty decisions that you might regret later on. Take care.

    Smallfryplus - Welcome, the ladies in here are a wonderful support

    Jen - As always, thanks for thinking of me hun It was a sad day yesterday and still feeling it a bit today too - at least I have DD at home on holidays to give me cuddles

    Mel - Good luck with the car, I'm sure you'll love it I've got my eye on the new Foresters, very noice!

    everyone else!

  7. #349

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    good morning everyone. Sorry i have been a bit quiet over the last couple of days - we have had some busy ones. went out for dinner last night for a friends bday and I think I am still full lol.

    Firstly - welcome to Juliewa and smallfryplus. I'm sorry for the loss of your little ones but you have found a wonderful supportive bunch of ladies here. I'm not sure what I would do without them.
    Julie - i have had a natural m/c and a d&c and to be honest I am not sure which way i would choose if i had to go through it again. The d&c was the first operation and general anesthetic i have ever had and I found it all very traumatic. i was so scared of having it done and was in tears when they put me under. I had that in July 08 due to a missed m/c discovered at 8wks (bub had stopped growing at a bit over 5wks). I had a natural m/c in Jan 09. I had what is best described as contractions for 4 days - before, during and after giving "birth" to my little one - unfortunately, like Jen, it was horrible knowing I was flushing my baby down the toilet but with my son home with me i didn't want him seeing me m/c'ing and the toilet seemed like the most "private" place for me to be while I was going through the m/c. the natural m/c for me was very very drawn out and very painful, even with strong pain relief prescribed to me (oxycodone) I was still in so so much pain - the oxycodone barely took the edge off! Where as the d&c was so scary for me but a lot less painful overall. In fact, I had very little pain after the d&c - apart from the emotional pain of course. I hope this hasn't confused you more and I hope you are able to come to a decision that best suits you. And I am so so sorry you have had to go through this without your DH with you - that would be so hard! *hugs*

    Jen - cycle buddies hey - sounds good. Although, I really think I O'd on cd20 so it will be interesting to see if my cover line changes to that date. It did change this morning when I put my temp in - what do you think - do you think that cd20 looks more like when I O'd? congrats on your coverline and welcome officially to the 2WW - I hope this is your last for a good 9 or so months

    megsmum - *hugs* angel babies EDD are hard on us hey. thinking of you

    Cherished - i have wondered the same thing about posting up old charts. I would love to get some opinions on that as well.. My preg chart last time looks a little different to this one so I am already thinking that I may be out - how bad is that so early in the 2WW My temps when I got my bfp last time shot up really quickly overnight and were a bit higher (by .2 or .3 of a degree) - does anyone know if the weather being colder will decrease our BBT? Goodluck lovely, i hope this is your month.

    Shortcake - I its a implantation dip xxx

    Mollycat - congrats on your BFP and a belated happy birthday - what a present hey!!!! I'm so incredibily happy for you! I can't wait to follow you through your pregnancy. Heres to an uneventful 9 months

    Fifi - I so hope you are holding your little bubba by now - someone really didn't want to come out into the real world did they must be nice and cozy in there

    Sorry if I missed anyone, Im at work so I can't go back to review any more posts as my computer will freeze up if I open a new window. I'm thinking of you all of course. Fingers crossed for lots of bfp's for our little new year babies. Happy bd'ing to those coming up to O. Baby dust to those waiting for a bfp this month (thinking positive - IT WILL BE YOUR MONTH!) and sticky vibes to our lovely preggy ladies. *hugs*

  8. #350

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    awwww I feel horrible! smallfryplus I didn't welcome you! There were so many posts to look through this morning... ahhh excuses, excuses hehehe. Honey I am so happy you have joined us and terribly sorry for your loss Here's a link which can help you decode everything http://bellybelly.com.au/forums/foru...-acronyms.html

    Beautiful boble I hope it's you're month too... I think we can expect our temps to be a little strange after a D&C or m/c. I just can't wait to find out if we are pg

  9. #351

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    I feel terrible, as well, as somehow I missed your post, smallfryplus! I'm so sorry for the loss that brings you here to our little thread, but I pray that you find comfort and support here among these amazing girls! You're among friends that understand what you're going through.

  10. #352

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    Hey all,

    Sorry I didn't come back yesterday, hectic arvo & then I was off to Yoga last night.

    I haven't seen if Fi has posted her baby announcement - will have to go lurking!

    Welcome to Julie & Smallfry. Sorry for your loss. You will find alot of wonderful support here and be nodding a lot at the computer when we 'talk' about our feelings, how we are/aren't coping. Plus plenty of advice.

    Sunny - Whats going on - done any more poas?!

    Mel - Yay! on the new car purchase. I made a pact with myself that as soon as we are pg (& it's a sticky one) I can go buy a new car. I never thought about Subaru, but now mught have to check it out. What colour did you get? What a great DH you have, might need to start mentioning this to DH, maybe he'll do something for me (yeah right!)

    erybery - That is fantastic news about the scan. Amazing how things work out hey?!

    Charm - Good luck with the testing. No A/F vibes for you

    Eliza - How are you today? Are things better between DH & yourself? In relation to the money/job comment - I don't have a degree and if I worked fulltime, my wage would be pushing $90k. Yes, a degree means a lot but it's not the be all and end all. What you contribute is important. Also, I wouldn't work in a job where I hated it and was treated like crap. If your DH would leave you for something trivial like that, well I don't have nice words to post!

    Sally - I would have done what you did - just wait a bit. Still got my fingers crossed for your Pearl baby!

    Boble - I understand the frustration when coming to the 12 mth mark. Luckliy for me I fell pg with DD in the 13th mth - I was on my way to the gyno to find out what was going on, but ended up changing my appt to an OBS one....

    Hannah - Hugs that you are still having morning sickness. I didn't have any with DD but I am a sook when I am feeling queasy, so I have sympathy for you.

    Hello to: Jen, Shortcake,cherished, MO3B, Chappas, Megsmum, Greenslw, Meh, Mannie, Smi and anyone else I have missed or is just lurking.

    Hope you are all having a great day.

    Nothing much to report for me: RB left the building yesterday, so will be DTDing like mad for my January baby!

  11. #353

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    Mar 2009
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    Sorry everyone but this post is me ranting....

    Im packing for Broome, bought my space clearing spray, packing my preseed etc...
    when my sister rings from Broome (she went yesterday) to tell me she hasnt wanted to tell me but she is 5 weeks pregnant and she was worried about how I would react.
    Im so glad she did tell me but so sad for me. Its the stupidest, most irrational thing every but I keep thinking she will have 2 babies and I have none.
    I feel so so guilty feeling this way, my nephew has brought so much joy into my life and I love him like he is my own but I should be 5 months pregnant and now Im not and she is....

    Argh I feel horrible...
    I cant stop crying, I feel like Im an evil person and because I cant be happy for someone I love so much Ill never get my baby.

  12. #354

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    Thank you so much Shortcake. I was getting confused with a few terms.

    Now to the job of TTC.

  13. #355

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    just want to day thankyou all soo much for the advice and support, guess there's no-one really that understands what you're going through than other women experiencing the same emotional rollercoaster, and what a rollercoaster it is. I'm trying to be strong as i also have ds(9m) to look after and he needs me.
    made the decision to wait out the week and book in for d&c for next week. i couldn't go through with it this morning. don't think i was quite ready to let go of my bubba just yet. i'm just going to stay close to home for the week and just nurture myself and ds and if bubba wants to say goodbye then all good, if not i'll say goodbye next week. think i need this time to give bubbs some little chats and say goodbye in our own time and personal space. also dh will be back and i'll have him at home with me at night rather then being alone which is awful at the moment.
    what more can i say than a huge thankyou for being my shoulder to lean on and i'll hover around to let you know how we're going and also to send you all the very best of baby luck and love.
    huge hugs to you all.

  14. #356

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    Juleswa - It sounds like you are at peace with your decision which is so important. Being able to say goodbye to your angel in your own special way sounds like a lovely idea. My heart aches for you and to also have DH away, know you can jump on and talk to us anytime. Big hugs

    sally - So sorry hun . Don't apologise, we all know how you feel and it doesn't make you an awful person, it makes you human. I am also a doting auntie and don't begrudge my sister her children (I love them more than anything) but my heart still aches for my own child. I so hope we all get our BFP soon

    Rhi - for your January bub! Hoping buying a car is my lucky charm.

    smallfryplus - Welcome, glad you have found us but hope your stay is short

    boble - It's not over until RB shows but I know what it is like to torture yourself during the TWW. Good luck!

    Megsmum - Yes, we test drove the Foresters but went with the Liberty! Our neighbours had a Forester and changed to a liberty after a few weeks as the liberty had more boot space. Big for you on your angel EDD. Thinking of you sweetie and glad you have your DD to cuddle.

    Jen - That's for the update - Welcome to the TWW with the rest of us. May it all end in BFP's!

    cherished1 - Sorry, can't answer your question about charting but I reckon Jen can!

    Have to go but will try to BBL for persies - how busy was it in here last night!

    BTW - I pick up my new car tomorrow!!!

  15. #357

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Adelaide
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    Cool More Reflection

    Wow is it me or is it way busy in here?
    Thanks for all your warm wishes.
    I went to a funeral today, my DP's step sister she was only 38 so sad. But I do hope she is happier on spirit side, such a traumatic sole but beautiful at the same time. I caught myself holding my stomach a few times through the service, not sure what to think, but I hope she guides an angel to me next FET.

    Got 5 frosties in the freezer, really want two in but I'm not old enough feel like a sixteen year old outside a night club. I really am a dork sometimes.

    Hope you are all doing well back for persies later

  16. #358

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    Sally - i wrote you a big long message but my computer wouldn't post it - i hope it does this time. the basics were its ok to feel a bit "green eyed monster" at times like these. Its ok to feel happy for her and also be sad for yourself and the guilt that goes along with that is so so hard for a good person like yourself. It will be your time soon!!!!!

    Greenslw - lol.. thats funny that you feel like a 16yo outside a nightclub. Im sorry for the loss of your step sister in law (i hope i got that right). I hope she sends you a forever baby soon xx

    Juleswa - that sounds like a plan hun. I hope that when you do have to say good bye that it as easy as it can possibly be - which sounds odd.. but that is something I do hope for you in the best possible way. thinking of you during this hard time.. I am a bit teary knowing how hard it is what you are going through right now *hugs*

    Mel - bet you can't wait for the new car - how exciting!

    ok... please post this time computer

  17. #359

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